Unfolding freedom

Regrets of the Dying

2011-08-20T08:16:00.005-04:00

Loved this post "Regrets of the Dying" by someone who worked in palliative care for years and noted down the regrets her patients had or anything they would do differently. She says she was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives and the common themes surfaced again and again.

The most common five

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Read the entire post by clicking here.

Passion. Have we lost it?

2011-08-15T22:11:00.001-04:00

When you go visiting a forest, the idea is not keeping youself clean and perfect throughout the visit.

In fact, those who really enjoyed the forest, who love being in the wild, who are passionate about the wildness, who are willing to take risks, would come out with some dirt on them, some bug bites, some wrinkled cloths, some stain and even some bruises.

You can live a mediocre, lukewarm life and come out clean and perfect or you can live a passionate life, taking risks in loving, reaching out, making a difference, get hurt, forgive, love again.

A lion in the zoo is "safe", well-fed and looks clean and healthy, but that's not where lions belong to. Lions are meant to live in the wild, and there is adventure in the wild, there is risk, there is freedom, there is beauty and it will be in its most naturally wild state.

"A ship in port is safe. But that’s not what ships are built for." - Grace Murray Hopper

What matters in life?

2011-08-15T14:44:00.005-04:00

I have been noticing how the world aroud us is loosing touch with beauty, slience and creativity in a culture where there is lot of noise, clutter and distraction.

I felt the author of the below linked article is like-minded. Its always encouraging to know there are still souls out there who can see beyond the skin-level. The people who can look at things from their heart, not from their head. It is extremely saddening how humanity has shrinked to mere technicalities of life - college degree, mundane jobs, child care, paying off debt and saving for retirement.

Isn't life so much bigger, meaningful and beautiful than all these? Doesn't the things and people around us worth paying attention to?

Read the entire post here: You know Because It Hurts by Guy Tal (Photographer)

Is there a God?

2011-08-11T08:16:00.004-04:00

In most cases, atheism is an emotional response to hurt or tragedy in life, the result of the age-old question, if there was a God, why does he allow bad things to happen.

They want to believe that there is no God and in the effort they do an intellectual suicide. In reality, if we are intellectually honest, it doesn't take much to come to a plausible conclusion that there is a creator. Things doesn't just pop out into existence merely by chance.

Newton's first law of thermodynamics still stands - matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed (we can only change one form of matter into another form and one form of energy into another form). So it is quiet safe to assume that someone who can violate the physical laws has to create the original matter and energy.

Being spiritual Vs. religious

2010-10-18T18:57:00.010-04:00

How is spirituality different from religion? How do you differentiate a person who is religious versus spiritual? Why is spirituality important to me?

It gives me inner strength, it allows me to be part of something bigger than me. It quietens my heart and puts the life around me into perspective. It makes me want to look at things which are otherwise unworthy to look at. It makes me want to go on in life. It gives me okay to be depressed, yet not worried about being depressed.

It makes me comfortable being silly. It helps me to lay down the various masks I wear in life. It takes the pressure off of my shoulder to perform, please and impress.

It helps me to be wanting to help others selflessly. It lets me make friends without hidden agendas. It helps me to pay attention to the details, making me more creative and artistic.

It allows me to love sinners with a compassionate heart, makes me more accepting than demanding. It gives me the power to listen, pay attention and show grace to others.

It slows me down.

It makes me want to give up the desire to change the world and develops a new desire in me - to make a difference in at least one person's life. It helps me fight materialism and greed.

It makes my thoughts deep. It accepts the mystical nature human mind. It helps me to see the wonder of God's life in me. It humbles me and allows me to receive forgiveness and extend that forgiveness to others.

It kills self righteousness and the need to be right always, lifting a heavy burden from my shoulder. It embraces freedom and resists bondage fervently.

It gently teaches us to handle our freedom.

It's desire is for Truth. It puts emotions into perspective. It answers the question, "why is there emotions?". It removes the fear to be vulnerable and weak. It knows that strength comes from weakness. It makes us want to be surrendered rather than committed and dedicated.

It deals with the narcissism in me, in an unconscious way.

It endures pain and see suffering from a different angle. It helps me to be peace with those million unanswered questions in my heart. It fills my heart with peace, love and hope.

Some thoughts on women, and men too.

2010-07-31T09:02:00.005-04:00

I think it is in Don Miller’s ‘Blue Like Jazz’ that he talks about how he loved to visit Home Depot.

I remember the first time I went to Home Depot. I was shocked to see the vast selection of different things. I remembered my Uncle telling me that Home Depot has everything we need to build a home. This was when I first came to this country. Since that day I was intrigued by Home Depot in the back of my mind but I never visited that place because there was no need to do so. I was living in an apartment and every time a light bulb burns out I would call their maintenance phone number. So, why would I go to Home Depot? After few more years, once I wanted to buy a tool and I went to Home Depot which was located less than 1/2 mile away from my apartment.

I entered this huge store and looked around with amazement. I felt like I was looking for a coin lost in an ocean. I went to the first aisle. It was an aisle for screws. "One whole aisle for just screws?" I thought to myself. I looked at the tall shelves on the both sides of the aisle filled with stacks of different types of screws. No, I didn’t become philosophical about American consumerism or anything. I wondered how someone would pick the right screw from this. Are they going to try each one of them to see which one fits? It took me few more years to figure out there is a 'size' for each screw. So if you know the size, you can just go to the box which labeled with that particular size.

But still, if I am missing a screw for something at home, how would I know the size of that screw? Should I measure? If so, how? Well, I still don't know. I don't know the use for 90% things in Home Depot. But I still love visiting Home Depot. I don't know why. I like looking at the various tools and such. When my wife calls me to go shopping with her at Kohls or JC Penny, I always wish if she was calling me to go to Home Depot instead. Or Lowes Or Best Buy. I always get a head ache when I visit stores like JC Penny. I don't like that section for perfumes. I can't stand that intense smell from people trying out different perfumes. I never liked the smell of any lady perfumes. May be it’s not made to impress men like me. I like one men's perfume. It's called 'Obsession'. No, I am not obsessed with it either.

In my office, we have a 4 member team including me. The other three are women. I work closely with them all the time. Each time I go for a meeting or something, I go with women and I come back with women. Sometimes I wonder if I started talking like women. So I remind myself to behave like men and I would change the way I talk and the way I walk. I also thought what others might think seeing me always working with only women. So sometimes when my teammates come to call me to go for a meeting or something, I would act busy so that they would leave and I can walk to the meeting room just by myself.

I deliberately tried to make some men friends just to prove to others that I talk to men too. I would go to some men's cubicles and try to start a conversation. Unfortunately, it usually ends in one or two minutes. I always wondered why. I learned some techniques to start a conversation with men. I would start by saying how crappy iPhone 4 really is and how I hate Steve Jobs arrogance. One day I went to this new guy and was about to break a conversation by saying the antenna problems of iPhone4 and how arrogantly Mr. Jobs said "Do not hold it like that". Then I immediately (luckily) noticed an iPhone on his desk and changed the topic.

I read the 'Science/Technology' section of Google News every day. So that I can keep myself up to date with what is happening in the tech world. Since I know nothing about Sports or beer, tech news is the only thing I can use to converse with men. Oh wait, I know two beer brands - bud light and bud wiser. I have seen those trucks.

With men, I always have to make things up. With women, things are much easier. I talk about how I put my kids to sleep at night, how funny my 4 year old is. And they tell stories about their kids, diet, cooking, vacation plans, movies and then of course office rumors. And I love that. When they share rumors, I try hard to hide my enthusiasm to listen. After all, I am a man. I shouldn't show any interest to listen to lady gossips. The only problem is that they whisper when they share rumors. Unfortunately they don't know that others would listen more attentively when they hear whisper voce. I think I should tell them to say it in a normal voice.

People say women are complicated and hard to understand. Well, I disagree. At least from my experience, men are complicated and are hard to understand. Because most of the time, they say something and mean something else. They act a lot. They act they are bold, all-knowing and all that. I know it because I act all the time. When I go to the car dealer I act like I know everything about cars. I am ego-centric. If I invest my ego into something, I will defend it till my death even if I know that I was wrong. Women have no issue to accept that they made a mistake and they say sorry very easily without any struggle. But for me, to apologize to someone is like eating a spoiled burrito.

Women (mostly) speak their heart out. And with them, I can speak my heart out too. Life is easy. I don't have to keep up with the latest NFL news and all that crap.

'Commitment' to the Bible

2010-02-23T10:00:00.004-05:00

Bible, as we see it today came into existence after the invention of printing press. I checked Wikipedia and the first printing press was assembled by Gutenberg around 1440, which means the book form of the Bible (as we see it today) wasn't widely available for nearly 1500 years since the time of Jesus.

How did people live during that time? They didn't have the 'Message' version and no one 'amplified' it for them. Could it be that they lived from the LIFE of Christ in them? Could it be that they depended on the revelations God gave them through various means?

It's also interesting to see that Jesus or any Apostles never ever put a 'should' on people to 'spend time on the word' every day. None of the first century churches boasted about 'being committed to the Word'.

In the Bible itself, (John chapter 5), this words of Jesus are recorded: "You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. "

Pharisees of Jesus's time were 'committed to the Word', but they missed the whole point. There is no LIFE found in Scriptures. Scriptures only point to the one who has LIFE.

And we are to eat from the tree of LIFE, not from the other tree.

What He is to me

2009-12-29T09:09:00.001-05:00

I got this in an email from a dear sister. I thought it is worth sharing...

What He is to me?

He is the First and Last,
The Beginning and the End!

He is the keeper of Creation and the Creator of all!
He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times.
He always was, He always is, and He always will be ...
unmoved, Unchanged, Undefeated, and never Undone!

He was bruised and brought healing!
He was pierced and eased pain!
He was persecuted and brought freedom!
He was dead and brought life!
He is risen and brings power!
He reigns and brings Peace!
The world can't understand him,
The armies can't defeat Him,
The schools can't explain Him, and The leaders can't ignore Him.
Herod couldn't kill Him, The Pharisees couldn't confuse Him, and The people couldn't hold Him!
Nero couldn't crush Him, Hitler couldn't silence Him,
The New Age can't replace Him, and "Oprah" can't explain Him away!

He is light, love, longevity, and Lord.
He is goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God.
He is Holy, Righteous, mighty, powerful, and pure.

His ways are right,
His word is eternal,
His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me.
He is my Savior,
He is my guide, and He is my peace!
He is my Joy,
He is my comfort,
He is my Lord, and He rules my life!

I serve Him because His bond is love,
His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life.

I follow Him because He is the wisdom of the wise,
the power of the powerful,
the ancient of days, the ruler of rulers, the leader of leaders, the overseer of the overcomers, and is to come. And if that seems impressive to you, try this for size.

His goal is a relationship with ME!
He will never leave me,
never forsake me,
never mislead me,
never forget me,
never overlook me and
never cancel my appointment in His appointment book!

When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!
When I am afraid, He is my courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!
When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me!
When I face Death, He carries me Home!

He is everything for everybody everywhere, every time, and every way.

He is God, He is faithful. I am His, and He is mine!

My Father in heaven can whip the father of this world.
So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, understand this...

He said it and that settles it.
God is in control, I am on His side,
and that means all is well with my soul.

Everyday is a blessing for GOD Is!

Gift of Pain

2009-12-17T11:32:00.004-05:00

What if there wasn't any pain in this world? What if humans, animals and birds didn't have the ability to feel pain? At the surface, we might think that it would be wonderful to live a totally pain-free life. But is it so?

Few years ago, I read a book called "Gift of Pain", written by Dr. Paul Brand, who was a medical doctor and a missionary to India and worked amongst people suffered from leprosy. Leprosy starts with the symptom of losing one's ability to feel the sense of touch and a corresponding inability to feel pain and temperature.

What happens if you lose the ability to feel pain? You will injure yourself badly. You will get disfigured by self-amputation. The damaged bodies of lepers are mostly a result of self-inflicted injuries (i.e stepping on nails, touching something too hot). As part of the treatment, Dr. Brand offered custom-built footwear for the patients to wear all the time, so that they won't self-inflict injuries.

Though the book starts with the premise of bodily pain, it goes beyond that into emotional pain and spiritual truths as well. It is the first time my perspective shifted to see pain from a different angle - pain as a gift. I agree, no one likes pain, yet if you think, isn't pain a gift?

What if we didn't feel any pain when relationships are broken? What if we have a numbing insensitivity towards death, rejection, unforgiveness, hatred and ridicule? Would we ever appreciate life, acceptance, forgiveness, love and peace?

I think pain is essential. Life, with all its challenges is a gift. Without pain, I think, we wouldn't even know we have a valuable, beautiful life. Can you imagine living in a pain-free, fallen world? We would easily endanger ourselves. In a world filled with a million ways of instant-gratifications and easy methods of escapism from sufferings by depending so much on pain killers and mind-numbing chemicals to alter our thinking, have we ever thought that there might be a purpose for the existence of pain? And there might be a solution beyond the mere painlessness?

How grace destroyed my prayer life.

2009-12-10T13:13:00.003-05:00

My prayer usually started with "My loving father in heaven" for a long time. Eventually I got bored with that salutation, so I tried few others such as "My precious Father", "Our loving gracious Father in heaven" or simply "Lord Jesus". I was taught that quoting Scriptures while praying is very effective. In other words, we might get more action from God if we claim things which he had promised in the Scriptures but have forgotten to give to us.

Every time, during the family prayer in the evening, I wanted to make sure my kids followed the Christian discipline of sitting in full attention with their eyes closed. I was proud of being a perfect Christian Dad, making sure even our 2 year old followed my strict prayer-time discipline.

Depending on who is present, most of my public prayers were directed to them, kind of using the prayer time to preach to them or to show off my religiosity. After all, that’s the only time they are forced to be silent and listen to me. When my parents (who are not protestant Christians) are present, I threaten them through my prayer about the countless punishments God is going to send on them if they don't accept my belief system. My conscious effort there was to prove them wrong and prove me right.

Depending on whom I am praying with, my prayer changed. I pray the most hypocritical prayer if there are unbelievers around. In the midst of super hyper believers, I pray as if I am also super hyper like them. You know, praying for the souls perishing all over the world? I knew how to add a touch of unbearable pain to the tone of my prayer to make it more dramatic.

Do you want to add more excitement and power to your prayer? Add more loud "Hallelujahs".

In short, my public prayer was a show and my private prayer was mostly a laundry list of things I thought I couldn't live without.

Grace destroyed all this drama and made it unbelievably simple. I can't believe I did all that for so many years. I feel embarrassed. Now when I pray, I hardly know that I am praying. It is like talking to a real person. It's a joyful occasion of tremendous freedom, peace and love. I don't mind talking silly things to Him. Now I don't necessarily want anyone around when I pray because I know that my prayer might sound very silly and child-like; mostly do not make any sense to the people who don't know where I am coming from.

And I think that's ok.

Let's not keep the common sense aside

2009-10-29T12:16:00.007-04:00

I have been listening to the 'growing in grace' podcasts a lot lately. In more than one episodes, I heard Mike Kapler saying, "let's not keep the common sense aside". He says that especially when it comes to obedience and keeping the law.

I think, being honest to ourselves is all it takes to come to the conclusion that religion doesn't work. It doesn't matter which religion it is. Each has its own 'ways' to please their god. For some, their god is pleased when they follow certain set of rules, laws, regulations or a list of do's and don'ts. Some gods are pleased when we gather at particular place at a particular time of a week. Some are pleased when we chant some prayers or starve through fasting. Some are pleased when we put some dollar bills into an offering plate. Some are pleased when we confess all our sins.

I am not excluding Christian religion from this. Christians says their god is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. He is a perfectly holy god. He is self-sufficient. That being the case, isn't it a futile act attempting to please that god through our puny works? Who in their right mind can logically come to a conclusion that they can somehow please god through all these? Not just that, some people think that they can make god angry! As though god has an emotional imbalance or something- easily angered, easily provoked but somehow hard to please.

I feel stupid for believing such a lie for a long time in my life. I thought my god would be pleased when I achieve sinless perfection. I thought I was pleasing him when I did the works of evangelism. I thought, the more I studied the Bible, he is more pleased. The more I set apart a 'quiet time', I thought I can somehow tap into his presence. I thought I could manipulate god through 'effective' prayer (by quoting scriptures, for example). I thought god was a genie who comes out and bless me when I give my money. I kept doing all these for years and years even though I never felt contented nor reached a satisfying point in my life to boldly say that I pleased him. I tried to do all the right things and tried not to do any wrong things to keep god from getting angry at me. But I always felt that I fall short. So, I successfully hid my burned out heart from others.

For a long time in my life, I lived an illogical spiritual life. I kept my common sense aside and listened and followed other illogical spiritual leaders out there. I wasn't even honest to myself. I pretended as if my spirituality was working.

Then there came a time in my life that I had to take a step back and look at the foolishness of my belief system. Trying to achieve sinless perfection? Trying to earn forgiveness through confessing all my sins on a daily basis? Trying to keep the law? Trying to love my neighbors as myself? Trying to love the enemies? Are you kidding?

I didn't know that James said, "whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Will I ever be accepted by this god? Will I ever be able to say that I confessed all my sins that I am now fully forgiven? Will I ever feel the security of god's love? Will I ever feel any kind of security, contentment or peace?

If you don't cheat in answering those questions, if you can be honest to yourself, the only thing you can do is - give up! That’s true - just give up!

That’s where my journey started. I fist gave up, then God took over…

What's new?

2009-10-13T21:03:00.006-04:00

I am tremendously blessed by the love and encouragement I received from my brothers and sisters through comments to my last post, emails, FB messages etc. I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart. I also want to thank Jesus for this on-line community I am part of. Though its electronic and 2 dimensional, blogging and facebooking are already a huge part of my life now.

In the last post, I mentioned about a pending job opportunity. I want to update everyone that It has worked out in my favor. After a lengthy process (background check etc) and a lot of paper work, on Monday I started on the new job at Ford Motor Company. It's been only 2 days, but so far I like it. Just like any new job, there are times I feel stupid and clueless :). But I think I will get over it as I get the clearer picture of the tasks I have to do in the coming days. I am excited about this opportunity and kind of eager to work.

So, thats the good news!

I like to add something I read over at Joel's blog as an encouragement to those who are currently unemployed and struggling in various ways:

There's nothing going on that God's not aware of. He's in us, He is our life.

He's someone who is conscious about us all the time - inclined toward us all the time - and ever aware of what we're thinking, feeling, saying, doing, being, wanting, contemplating, desiring...

I believe it. Our God is not passive (though sometimes we feel so). He is always holding us in His hands. We are safe, secured and He will turn things into our favor at the end. We may not know how. But He will.

Once again, thank you all and I love you all.

I am still here.

2009-10-04T11:01:00.007-04:00

It's been over a month since I have written anything here. The truth is I didn't have much to share and I didn't feel like doing posts religiously. My primary source of encouragement and spiritual food is usually books and I haven't been reading a lot lately. Reading is what usually keep my mind alive and helps me to focus and stretch my thinking a little.

On September 30th, I became officially unemployed and my wife is unemployed since Aug 30. So in the past few weeks we were spending a lot of our time and energy to upgrade our skills set, posting resumes, attending calls etc. To get a job in this economy, especially here in Motor city, we ought to be very competitive because there are not many hiring and those who hire, hire only the best of the best.

On the otherside, the whole ordeal has been very humbling and it gives me time to reflect upon the lives of people who are struggling without job. It helps me to slow down and spend more time with kids. I am not 'on the go' all the time now.

There are couple of options (contract positions) pending for me which I will have more clarity next week. So I am still waiting. If everything goes well, I will have some official confirmation sometime next week. I don't know what God has in store for me. I will post an update later next week.

I also find myself picking books back again since last week. I am currently reading "Loving our kids on purpose" by Danny Silk, which I am liking very much. It's about parenting from a grace-perspective - love, trust and freedom; just the contrary to much of the worldly parenting principles. I am glad it's not a 'how-to' book.

Thats all for now. Thank you all for the prayers, thoughts and encouragements. I have a lot of unread blog posts in my google reader and I am planning on catching up some of my blog reading in the coming days. Much love, grace and peace to you all.

Shame masquerading as humility

2009-08-31T10:39:00.008-04:00

I am currently reading John Eldredge's "Waking the dead". (A great book, by the way). In it, John made a statement which goes something like this, "Most of the 'christian humility' we see today is nothing but shame masquerading as humility".

Somehow, we are just not ready to accept our goodness, the gift we received from God. The shame created by sin, is still impacting our self-image. I think our biggest fear is that, we think if we unleash our goodness, we may become prideful. So to combat pride, we find a way to tie ourselves at the foot of shame. We call it humility and then we act 'humble'. Talk about bondage!

Saint Iraneus's famous quote "The glory of God is man fully alive", in my opinion, is very biblical. After all, Jesus came to give us Life. "I have come that you may have Life", "I am the way, the truth and the Life". It glorifies God when we receive that life and become fully alive. It also glorifies God, when we fearlessly live that life to the full potential. That is not pride. It's living a life which reflects the glory of God. It is living just like who we truly are - "partakers of the divine nature".

Some thoughts on prayer.

2009-08-28T10:59:00.004-04:00

These are some of my current thoughts on prayer (Some might find it very radical but this where I currently stand. There is no claim that these are accurate but I am open for disagreements/opinions):

I do not believe prayer changes things. I don't believe in phrases like 'earnest prayer', 'pray hard' etc. I do not believe there is any magic in prayer. I also do not believe that one person's prayer is more effective than the other person. I don't believe in 'prayer chains'. I don't believe in those websites where you can post prayer requests. I don't believe in requesting prayer anonymously. I don't believe in praying for the nation, politicians etc. I don't believe in those toll free numbers (e.g: 1-800-PRAYER) where you can call and ask the phone attender to pray for something. I don't believe in 'unspoken' prayer requests, where you don't actually know what the request is but asked to pray blindly.

I don't believe group prayer has more strength than individual prayer. I don't believe pastor's prayer has more effect than the congregant's prayer. I don't believe in those books about 'How to pray?'. I don't believe in 'prayer warriors'. I don't believe the elders prayer is more effective than the youngsters. I don't believe that the people who pray more are more spiritual. I don't believe in praying in tongues.

I have heard people saying "It's my prayer what brought him/her to Christ". I don't believe it. I have heard people saying "It's because of our earnest fasting and prayer that he/she is healed.". Again, I do not believe that. I don't believe that prayer is more effective when we quote Scriptures. I don't believe that the various problems in life (sickness, finance problems, job loss, sins, relationship problems etc) are due to a lack of good prayer life.

I don't believe in religiously praying before each meal, travel etc. I don't believe that the evening 'family prayer' is what keeps a family from falling apart. I do not believe God answers all prayers. I do not believe that God is obligated to answer our prayers. I do not believe the prayer prayed in a church setting is more effective than the prayer done at home, car or coffee shop.

I don't believe in parents doing a "prayer-show" with the intention to get their kids to be more spiritual like them.

I don't believe in promising people that "I will pray for you" every time when he/she shares some burden with me, unless there is a genuine desire in my heart to do that. I do not believe in praying for forgiveness every time I sin. I don't believe in praying out of guilt.

These are the few things I believe about prayer:

The only reason I pray is because I have a desire to talk to my Heavenly Father.
When I pray, regardless of what I am praying for, my attitude always has to be, "Lord, if it's your will...".
I don't muster up prayer just for the sake of praying.
The most hart-felt prayers are not necessarily found in my mouth, rather they are in my heart.
I pray enthusiastically when the Lord himself puts a desire in my heart to pray.
I believe in the sovereignty of God and believe that He is always in control regardless of whether people pray or not.
Prayer (talking to God), in my mind, has to be a natural result of being in a relationship with Him.
When it comes to prayer (or anything else), motivation behind it matters the most.
If you believe in His unconditional love and awesome grace, you will find yourself thanking Him more, than asking Him to do things.

Lastly and more importantly,

Regardless of whether my prayer was answered the way I want it or not, I am still at peace and in total contentment because I know the fact that my Father is in total control of my life and there is nothing which can separate me from His love.

"Who told you that you were naked?"

2009-08-25T15:47:00.004-04:00

What made the humanity to become so self-centered? When God created Adam and Eve, they weren't self-centered. They were God-centered. They walked naked in the garden. They didn't care the fact that they were naked. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (Genesis 2:25). Look at the animals. All of them are naked.

[This is one thing the evolutionists can't answer. When did humanity start wearing cloths to hide their genitals? What was the origin of the thing called shame? Monkeys don't wear cloths. All of a sudden when the monkey became a human, he started going for shopping at Macy's?]

Adam and Eve bore the glorious image of God when they were created. God created man in his own image. He breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. They were blinded (in a good way) by the glorious harmony they had with God. They not only felt free, but they were truly free. God gave them total freedom, including the freedom to choose evil. (If freedom didn't include freedom to sin, it isn't real freedom.)

They chose to eat from the wrong tree, lost their god-centeredness and gained self-centeredness. They weren't created to posess a knowledge of good and evil, yet they chose to have it. Bible says, "then the eyes of both of them were opened". Ha! All of a sudden, they are looking at themselves. Now they are seeing everything through that newly opened set of eyes. It says, they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves and then they hid.

When God came looking for them, He found them hiding out of shame and asks this question, "Who told you that you were naked?". Which implies that the only third person there, which is God himself, not seeing them as naked. They became sin-conscious. Their god-consciousness died.

The good news is, the Second Adam (Christ) restored it for you an me. He cleansed our conscience (Heb 9:14). He don't expect you to feel shame today. He don't want you to hide from Him. He don't want you to sew your own filthy rags (obedience to the law, self effort, good works etc) today.

If you are in Christ and still going to God begging for forgiveness, thinking that you are rejected by Him when you sin, he is going to ask you this question: "Who told you that you were naked?". It is the law what tells you that you are naked (not worthy, sinful etc). It is the knowledge of good and evil (law) that makes you self-centered. Law only condemns! Law has no place in a Christian's life. (Gal 3:23-25) So, dump the knowledge of good and evil (which you were never meant to have) and eat from the Tree of Life. There is freedom, because there is no condemnation!

Religious Pragmatism

2009-08-20T14:16:00.002-04:00

I read this quote somewhere:

'A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.'

While I don't necessarily agree to this (at least not in all the cases), I would probably agree to a slightly modified version of it:

A great many people think they are "proving" when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Once my Mom told me, if you want you can prove that there isn't any God, using Bible verses. She is not a philosopher and I am pretty sure she heard it from someone else. But there is some truth in it.

Often times people go into the mode of 'proving' AFTER making up their mind. They confront others in an effort to make them buy their ideas while using Bible as a means. "Bible says so...", so I believe. A good example would be, today's churches using verses from the book of Malachi to establish the practice of tithing.

They search Scriptures after making up their minds. They find verses which support what they want to believe. It is like writing the story of the movie after fixing the actors.

This is exactly the mindset behind the religious pragmatism. They think truth is whatever works. If I get results it has to be good. Tithing works, it gives results, so it should be good. The next step is simple: find verses supporting it. "Law" works, it gives immediate results, so it should be good, then follow the simple step of finding the verses. Universalism sounds good, lets find verses supporting it!

To quote AW Tozer on this, he says it like this:

...Preoccupation with appearances and a corresponding neglect of the out-of-sight root of the true spiritual life are prophetic signs which go unheeded. Immediate "results" are all that matter, quick proofs of present success without a thought of next week or next year. Religious pragmatism is running wild among the orthodox. Truth is whatever works. If it gets results it is good. There is but one test for the religious leader: success. Everything is forgiven him except failure...

The sad part is, the results (success) achieved through these practices are merely external. It gratifies only feelings, emotions, insecurities, appearances and our superstitious fears. It isn't good for setting people free, instead it puts them into much bondage. It encourages people to fake.

Ask a Catholic, he would say he 'feel' good when he attend a Mass. So it should be good and spiritual. The thing is everything that feels good is not spiritual. Even, not all good things are spiritual. Everything that 'works' isn't spiritual either. Anything to be called as spiritual, it has to be based on some absolute, unmoving TRUTH. Such absolute truth is not of this world because this world and the people in it are not absolute and unmoving. What works today may not work tomorrow. Everything changes - culture, moral standards, ethics, climate, economy, technology, theology, religion and pretty much everything.

Churches have found a lot of things 'working' and made it into traditions - altar calls, tithing, pastoral authority, organizational structure, pew and pulpit system and all that.

God's grace is a contradiction to 'practical theology'. Grace isn't practical in human terms. It is the impracticality what makes it grace. If it was practical, why call it grace? This is where I have problem when people say God's grace enables them to obey the law. What an oxymoronic statement! You might feel good when you think you are obeying the law. But pls. don't mix grace with your stupidity. Grace is grace! You cannot comprehend it with your dumb mind. You can live in it if you have the mind of Christ.

Yes, it is a fact that our puny brain cannot understand God's grace. I think it is a good thing, because grace was never meant to be understood with our head. Grace is against everything our head want to believe. Our head is so very practical. Grace is totally contrary to any human logic.

It's a heart thing. It's a God thing.

And it comes to our heart through REVELATION. Our heart can accept an impractical/illogical thing only through revelation, not through education. So lets lean on God so that He will reveal this thing called grace, and once you have it, you can pretty much live the rest of your life in total amazement, with an overflowing heart of gratitude towards God. That is what Christian life is all about. It defiles human intelligence.

Leadership in church

2009-08-11T10:46:00.000-04:00

Few months ago, I met a pastor at a birthday party. As we opened a conversation, he asked me where I go to church to. It surprised him when I said I do not attend any church on a regular basis. He was intrigued to know the reason and I shared a little bit of background (not much, because it's hard to explain everything in few minutes and sometimes I don't even know where to begin!). One of the thing I highlighted was that my skepticism and distaste over the practice of leadership in today's churches. I said, I do not believe I have to submit myself under any earthly spiritual authority.

It didn't strike a chord with him.

He took me to a corner and lectured me for the next 90 minutes or so, explaining the different 'levels' of 'anointing'. Interestingly, he did not use any New Testament Scriptures. Instead, he went to OT, took the example of David, explained to me how God anointed David in 3 different levels (the third one was the kingly anointing).

His point was, pastors are generally at the third level of anointing, so its good to be submissive to them. Because they are like Kings.

Of course, I was looking for a way to escape all throughout this conversation. To be quite honest, I felt very weary to even spend my energy explaining him why I do not necessarily agree with his view. It was also an astonishment to see how people develop doctrines from OT stories.

What are your thoughts on the issue of leadership in church today? Do you think pastors have some special anointing? What about the hierarchy in leadership? Do you believe in the 'calling'? Do you believe in any form of leadership at all? Pls. share your thoughts...

Trusting others

2009-08-03T10:57:00.001-04:00

I want to learn to trust people. I was raised in a home where I was taught to be always 'cautious' about others, and the surroundings. A pattern has been developed in my brain that I shouldn't trust anyone by default. My default setting is mistrust and skepticism. It goes beyond people to ideas, philosophies, theologies etc.

This is part of the reason I would ignore the broken cars on the freeway. I know they might need help but I can't trust them.

Mostly I pay no attention to the authors/preachers unless I know them in person or someone whom I trust recommend them. I find it hard to take risk there. I always get uncomfortable when my kids, out of their innocence, attempt to talk to strangers. What if they have an intention to harm my kids?

I know wisdom and a spirit of discernment plays a good role in judging others and their intentions. But I find it hard to balance myself. Deep in my heart, I want to trust people and I want to love people, even strangers regardless of how they look, what they wear etc.

Do you struggle with this issue? Do you trust people first and then love them Or do you love them first and then grow your trust in them? Is fear the cause of mistrust? Shouldn't we fearlessly trust people with a willingness in our heart to face the consequences if we were wrong in judging them as trustworthy?

'Christian' practices?

2009-07-23T09:18:00.005-04:00

Some of the practices which are so ingrained into modern Christianity, yet hard to find it among the early Christians of the first century or in the Bible...

Senior, junior, associate, youth, music pastors
Pulpit-pew structure
Passing of offering plates to collect money
Worship leaders
Worship services
Miracle crusades
Healing services
Health and Wealth preaching
Mid-week services
Building church buildings
Seminaries
Hiring of professional speakers
Clergy ordination, resumes, interviews
Denominations
Leadership hierarchies
Contemporary Vs. traditional services
'Going' to church
Preaching against certain type of sinners
Political endorsements, protests, threats
White church, black church etc
Pentecostal church, baptist church, methodist church etc
Questions such as "What kind of a church you go to?", "How big is your church?", "How many services do you have?" etc
Evangelism department
Making something into a "movement"
Seminars on "how to win souls?", "witnessing" etc
Emphasis on rituals such as Baptism etc
Prayer chains
Altar calls
"Spirit-led" worship Vs. Spiritless worship
Confession
Miracle water, hand kerchiefs etc
"If you are a Christian, you are to be perfect" mentality
Veneration of '10 commandments'
Emphasis on behavior modification, teaching of performance-based acceptance.

Okay, enough...

Your sins are truely forgiven...

2009-07-22T14:24:00.000-04:00

"One thing you lack"

2009-07-15T14:00:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about the issue of obedience a little further after I wrote my earlier post "Obey or burn". I was wondering if there is an accepted 'limit' for obedience. How far can we obey? What would satisfy God? Or in other words, what would satisfy you or me? And what happens when I fail to obey? Am I rejected? Am I less loved? Am I out of fellowship with God? Does it affect the intimacy of my relationship with God?

If so, What is the remedy? Beat myself up more? Do the confession thing?

Would I be able to go upto "Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)? Would I be able to reach there one day and call myself as matured and finally righteous?

It seems like God is heartless to raise the bar to such a height. Remember, the rich guy (Mark 10:17-25), who came claiming that he obeyed all the law? What did Jesus say to him? Did he say "well done my son, you finally made it"? No!

He said, "One thing you lack"! (Oops!) And then continued, "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." (Ouch!)

Jesus's response seems like very mean-spirited and cruel. This young guy was jumping (or he thought he was jumping) a 10 ft high bar, but now Jesus raised it to 75 ft. What was the result? He was disappointed! His face fell, it says. He went away sad.

Was Jesus heartless? Shouldn't have Jesus taken pride in seeing a young person who obeys his commandments since his childhood?

He seems to be heartless for those who try to earn or maintain his favor through anything they do. The statement by Apostle Mark, "Jesus looked at him and loved him" (v21) doubtlessly conveys the fact that He wanted the rich young man to see a gift which He came to offer. Unfortunately the young man didn't see the love in the eyes of Jesus because he was so busy presenting his self-righteousness.

A gift cannot be earned. If we strive for a gift, there is always going to be that "one thing you lack". With Jesus, you get everything you ever need. You are perfected and accepted in Him and then you lack nothing; so you may stop striving and may rest in Him. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Obey or burn

2009-07-06T10:30:00.003-04:00

"Obedience". A word Christian religion (or any religion, for that matter) is fascinated about. I have searched the Bible looking for the various techniques to implement obedience as I began my serious Christian walk. Later on, I found this verse : "train yourself to be godly" ( 1 Timothy 4:7). I heard it over and over from a radio preacher and every single time I listened to his sermon, I used to get all motivated. Motivated to 'train' myself to be godly. I figured out that, what is lacking in my Christian life was nothing but a strict, hard-core obedience. if I can make that happen, I would be the most happiest person in the world, I thought.

I pictured myself as a person preparing for an Olympic race. The preacher kept on preaching about the pain, struggle and commitment each Olympic medal winner goes through before they get to their final race. He said, its all worth when we win.

I wanted to win the gold medal. You know, at the time of judgment.

I considered Bible as my coach. I looked for instructions - moral, spiritual, social, behavioral, even dietary guidelines (there was time in my life I stopped eating pork). At any cost, I had to win in the final analysis.

As I jumped through each loops of obedience, I felt so good. I felt proud about myself. I felt proud about my religion. As a result of being strong, committed and ultra self-righteous, I started looking down on people who didn't obey like I did. You know, those sinners! I knew they were going to burn in hell. I couldn't wait to see that.

I had this picture in my mind that God is going to weigh all our obedience on a scale and then make a decision about our eternity.

Can you relate to the never ending cycle of self-analysis? Analyzing each thoughts, decisions and actions. It is a pre-occupation with self. If you had to watch my life, the destructive narcissism was so evident in everything I said and did.

In all my vigorous 'godliness-training', I missed the whole point. Each day, I was dragging my filthy rags to God and making myself a fool for missing out His love and the forgiveness provided on the cross. I labored from the OT premise of "master-slave" mentality and terribly failed to see the beautiful, new covenant-based "Father-son" relationship.

Each time I declared my righteousness through obedience, I was making the cross of Christ a mockery.

Within few years, I was burned out. I felt miserable like hell. As I failed more and more in my attempts to obey, my self-righteousness started turning into self-hatred. The more I failed, the more I felt like rejected by God. My question was, I am genuinely trying to obey His tenants, why is he letting me fail?

It was a never ending cycle of self-righteousness, arrogance, pride, self-pettiness and depression.

I don't want to go there anymore. I am learning to live from the Life within. I want to to be internally driven, not externally. There are no abilities residing in my flesh to live a righteous Christian life, so I leave it to Jesus who lives in me. I am going to trust Him to do it for me, through me. After all, he has called us to a rest (Sabbath rest), not to a struggle.

Ohio...

2009-06-30T09:47:00.004-04:00

I battled with nervousness, excitement, and various inexpressible feelings as I was getting ready to head out to Sandusky, Ohio on Friday to meet with some people whom I have only interacted online. I knew they were real. I knew they knew Jesus. I knew they have a grip on the message I believe, the message of God's unconditional love and grace. I knew all that. That was the exciting fact. But still I was nervous. Nervous about my accent, color, possible cultural differences and what not.

However, I am here to tell the world that it wasn't anything like I thought. The common thread among all of us was very visible, natural and there wasn't any struggle. The heart-to-heart connection was so evident. Meeting with Leonard, Jamie, Joel and Matthew was like a dream coming true and I felt that we were all in one spirit right away. We didn't have to say it loud, we all knew it.

It is a God thing, a chemistry.

Sitting on the park bench and talking about God, life, grace and Jesus was more than enjoyable, calming and serene. I think I can do it for days, weeks, months and years...

Sitting around the fire, cracking jokes, walking around the park, Ryan's guitar treat...

I observed the peace, joy and love in everybody's eyes. It changed my life. I was probably the least expressive among us. These are people who love others whole heatedly, without any reservation. I am convinced only God's love can achieve this.

Thank you Jamie, Matthew, Joel and Leonard... I love you all. Thank you Ryan for telling about farm and farming, It was more than fascinating. Thank you Tracy for those tasty tacos. Thank you Savannah for organizing the Catch Phrase game. It was a total blast! I will remember some of those spontaneous jokes during the game for the rest of my life. Thank you for those ripstick skateboard lessons too. And thank you Noelle and Jared for the impression you made in my heart about how well behaved children can be.

What was it that brought these people together like this? Was it religion? Was it a particular caste, denomination, or class? Was it people trying to show their 'Christian principles'? Was it trying to earn brownie points with God? Was it the name-sake 'fellowship'? It wasn't any of that. It was simply the love of Jesus working in and through each one of us... His agape working through our transformed hearts...

The bloggers - Leonard, Bino, Matthew, Jamie, and Joel

All of us - Bino, Leonard, Matthew, Jamie, Jared, Ryan, Savannah, Noelle, Tracy and Joel.

More pictures are there on Better than we know and Grace Roots

Fear...

2009-06-17T11:39:00.006-04:00

Fear causes us to stumble...
Fear causes us to pretend...
Fear causes us to withdraw...
Fear causes us to be unreal...
Fear causes us to fake...
Fear causes us to be suppressive...
Fear causes us to be oppressive...
Fear causes us to be angry...
controlling...
manipulating...
cruel...
impatient...
complying...
protective...
possessive...
dominating...
shameful...
doubting...
argumental..
protesting...
yelling...
sick...
unproductive...
lifeless...
warring...
envying...
self destructive...
insecured...
uncreative..
rigid...
bound...
inexpressible...
constrained...
paralyzed...
suicidal...
...

And the only true solution to fear is...

Perfect Love!

[1 John 4:18]

Be loved! Be fearless!

'Deliberately' sinning...

2009-06-11T13:45:00.005-04:00

I had struggled with the confusion about what it means to sin deliberately. I have heard so many sermons from the pulpit saying that if you commit some sin and ask forgiveness from God, after repenting, He will forgive you (Need Scripture ref? Look at 1 John 1:9). I did it for years and years. It was kind of like a license to me that I thought, if I can just confess whatever I did and can get forgiven at the end of the day, that's a pretty good deal.

Another thing I have heard from the same pulpits is that sinning is okay as long as you confess; but if you deliberately sin, it is a sin against Holy Spirit, which will not be forgiven. They call it 'unpardonable' sin. And they quote few verses including the famous Hebrews 10:26.

Then I was confused.

If I look into my heart honestly, I have to admit one thing : Every single sin I do, I do it deliberately! When I act selfish, I do it deliberately. When I shout at my wife, that's pretty deliberate. When I cuss the drivers who cut me off on the freeway, that's deliberate. When I lust, that is deliberate. When I envy my co-worker, that's deliberate. What sin is not deliberate? I thought I had no hope.

Is there something called accidental sins?

Did Jesus take away ALL the sins at the cross or just the 'accidental' sins? Did He leave the deliberate sins upto us to deal with, so that we can come up with our own ideas about how to get forgiven? Did He build confession booths for us to go in and confess and get forgiven? Or did He say, "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness"? Did He die for ALL sins of ALL people? Or Did He die for some sins of some people? Did He say "it's partially finished"? Or did He say "It's Finished" (Paid in full)?

Is sin still an issue between God and man? If so, how do we deal with it without the shedding of blood?

Is God recording any video?

2009-06-01T10:59:00.007-04:00

I just read an excellent post written by Steve McVey on his blog (its written for his new book -"52 Lies Taught In Church Every Sunday" ). In this particular post, he is addressing one of the many lies taught by the church over the years - that our sins are 'covered' under the blood of Jesus.

It sounded right to me that for so many years in my life I believed it. Along with that theology, I had always unconsciously believed that if my sins are covered, He could just dig it up whenever he want to condemn me. I thought, if he wouldn't dig it open in this life, he would certainly expose it one by one on the day of judgment (like it being shown in a recorded video) and accuse me about each of my sins. I was so insecure about that video he is recording. I could never live free because of it. Talk about fear, insecurity, bondage and lifelessness!

The good news is, He isn't recording. In fact, the Devil was recording for sometime, but God (in Christ) snatched it out of his hands and erased it and destroyed the tape. It will NEVER be brought back! Its a done deal. It's FINISHED!

Steve, in his post said it like this: "He has rewritten your history by taking away the sins of your past and giving you the history of Christ Himself."

Here is the entire post - Lies Taught In Church Every Sunday

The 'Christian' difference.

2009-05-19T10:30:00.001-04:00

As a Christian, sometimes I deliberately try to make a difference. Its kind of silly. I try to give a good and nice impression about my life to others. It is my own proclamation, out of my insecurity, that "Look, I am a happy, problem-free person BECAUSE I am a Christian and more than that I am a believer in the grace of God. You have problems? Too bad. You are a loser! I have found the secret spiritual formula for a problem-free life. Humble yourself and ask of me, I might share the secret with you!"

Why are Christians so insecure and some are so adamant to even admit that they have struggles in life? I am here to tell you that, my life is NOT 'heaven on earth'. My life is a life of imperfection, trouble and often times a mess. I have no secret spiritual formula for a perfect life.

I have financial struggles, sickness and all that, just like the heathens. Pretty much anything you can think of.

Yes, I am settled deep inside me because of the fact that I know for sure that God is in control of my life and everything around me. I am secured there. I don't have a feeling that I am 'missing' something. The emptiness in my heart was mysteriously and wonderfully filled by Christ Jesus. I am not seeking anything 'more'.

But, at the same time, I am not in a state of spiritual 'nirvana' all the time. I am not even walking by faith 24/7. I have the regular problems of the regular people. Didn't Jesus say that "you will have trouble in this world"? Did Jesus offer a perfect life here on earth? I think not.

If I had my life to live over again...

2009-05-17T22:28:00.005-04:00

If I had my life to live over again, I'd try to make more
mistakes next time.

I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than
I have been this trip.

I know of very few things I would take seriously.
I would take more trip. I would be crazier.

I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and
watch more sunsets.

I would do more walking and looking.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would have more actual troubles, and fewer imaginary
ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live life
prophylactically and sensibly hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again
I'd have more of them.

In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one
after another, instead of living so many years
ahead each day.

I've been one of those people who
never go anywhere without a thermometer,
a hot-water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, aspirin, and a parachute.

If I had to do it over again I would go places, do things,
and travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over I would start barefooted
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.

I would play hookey more.
I wouldn't make such good grades, except by accident.
I would ride on more merry-go-rounds.
I'd pick more daisies.

- written by a friar in a Nebraska monastery.

My 'Performance-Based Acceptance' Story

2009-05-12T14:05:00.010-04:00

I am sharing this story as part of the synchroblog idea Joel came up with. The biggest challenge for me to write this up here is about how to make it short. :)

I was born in a very orthodox Christian family, where my parents, grand parents and many generations practiced Eastern Orthodox religion (a branch of Greek Orthodox). Religion, church, and related rituals were all part of our life during childhood. Starting with my parents, continuing with my teachers at school and Sunday school, including the church clergies, pretty much all the people I ever came to know in my life, in one way or the other, knowingly or unknowingly have tried to put pressure on me to perform/behave in a certain way. In other words, no one wanted to accept me as who I was. Everyone expected something from me - from good grades in school to good behaviors at church.

All these, including many incidents through out my childhood, slowly started to inject a deadly poison into my brain - that my worth is directly depended on my performance.

Later on, in my late twenties, I was introduced to Pentecostalism, where I learned the idea of being born-again first time in my life. I saw it in the Bible that Jesus is the only means for Salvation (which the orthodox church never taught!). I got saved by believing in Jesus. It brought a lot of joy into my life.

But, sooner my focus started changing. I started falling into 'doing' stuff, thinking that is what God expected from me as a Christian. It all got powered up by the faulty concept many of us has learned during our life time - that our worth is directly depending on our performance.

The following few years, my life was a roller-coaster ride of performance, gaining Bible knowledge, religious show off, emotional experiences, faith formulas, prosperity gospel, prophecies, health and wealth, name it and claim it, end times and all that you can think of.

I started following the popular beliefs of 'churchianity'.

As a follower of churchianity, I have always thought I have to do 'big' things for God. I remember, few months after becoming a Christian I started participating in the evangelical programs of the church. I went to university campus to reach out to the students with the message of gospel. I visited homes telling them about Jesus. I distributed ‘free chilled water’ in summer for the commuters, handing over tracts along with water bottles. When some people hesitated to accept the tracts I thought that was ‘persecution’ and felt so proud that I am being persecuted for Christ! I acted in bible dramas to reach out to unbelievers. I felt so good because I was doing all the big things. Sometimes I forgot my small family back at home waiting for me. I walked with big bibles and expositories in my hand and engaged in big theological discussions. ‘End times’ was one of my favorites. People considered me as a person who is ‘fired up’ for Jesus. I liked the attention I started to get. I did more to bring more attention. I was busy and acted busy as well around others. I enjoyed the praises of elders and pastors. I appeared happy and busy for God on Sundays. After all these, on Monday when I wake up I was dry and miserable like hell. I was impatient towards my wife. I wondered what Jesus meant by the 'spring of water welling up in us'. I had no joy. I used to cry out to God while driving to office, to bring joy in my life. I negotiated with Him about the big things I am doing. I reminded Him the things I did and demanded 'joy'.

I was focused on doing big things while forgetting the small things - resting in Him, enjoying His life, abiding in Him just like a branch, allowing Him to live His life through me, learning to be contented in all the circumstances (As Paul said in Philippians 4:10-14).

He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?) in the year of 2006. He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace started changing my outlook on everything radically. He revealed the truth of His gospel and showed me the freedom He offered. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. He changed my perception of Him that He isn't an angry God waiting up there to whack us when we misbehave, but a loving, compassionate God who operates from the paradigm of amazing GRACE. I started seeing myself as He sees me, as a new creation in Christ who is accepted into His family as His own precious child on the sole basis of what Jesus did, not what I do/did/will do.

I started unlearning religion. It still contines, even today...

Make no mistake, this isn't an easy journey. There are many lonely moments. There is opposition. This is not a popular belief. This isn't about following the majority. There is pressure from legalistic sources. There is confusion, doubts, questions, challenges and all that. But, regardless of any of it, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. He has given me the confidence, that no matter how I mess up, I can still snuggle back into His lap and call Him "Abba, Father!". And there is nothing, nothing which can separate me from His love. NOTHING!

Break free from religious 'safety'...

2009-05-06T14:00:00.003-04:00

"A ship in port is safe. But that’s not what ships are built for." - Grace Murray Hopper

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

"MY NAME IS I AM."

2009-05-05T21:03:00.001-04:00

I was regretting the past
And fearing the future...
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
"MY NAME IS I AM." He paused.
I waited. He continued,

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,
WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS,
IT IS HARD, I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,
WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,
IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,
IT IS NOT HARD.
I AM HERE.
MY NAME IS I AM."

- Helen Mallicoat

The source of guilt

2009-04-30T11:54:00.007-04:00

Guilt is often presented as a good thing among religion. Many see guilt as a sign of sensitivity towards sin and the first step towards repentance. I think the church teaches from a wrong premise that the ministry of Holy Spirit is about convicting believers of their sins. Thus, as a result of such conviction, according to them, it is good that people feel guilty, so they can repent, ask forgiveness and get back into the fellowship with God.

People sit in pews Sunday after Sunday waiting for the bashing statements from the preacher so that they can feel guilty about their wrongful actions of the previous week; and they kind of feel good when they feel guilty. Then at the end of the sermon, the preacher usually throws an invitation for people to come forward to confess their sins and 'restore' the relationship with God. And it is commonly understood that the people who are 'sensitive' to sin would go forward and confess it. But the rigid, insensitive, rebellious ones sit back and spectate. Or may be the preacher did not use enough law to effectively stab their heart that they aren't bleeding yet. Well, may be, next week he can do a better job!

I think, the source of guilt is self-righteousness, pride and a faulty understanding of the ministry of Holy Spirit in a believer's a life.

When I sin, why would I feel guilty?

Its either,

I do not believe that Jesus took away all my sins at the cross.

Or,

I had always thought I would never do that sin. (self-righteousness)

Lets say, you did the worst possible sin imaginable. The sin which you thought you would never do.

Well, there is the problem!

Why did we even think that we would never do a particular sin? When I think or say that I would never do a sin, what I am saying indirectly is that Jesus didn't have to take that sin away for me, thereby devaluing His superior act on the cross. Out of my arrogance, I thought I could abstain from it by the energy of my flesh. No wonder that I am surprised when I do it, and plunging myself into guilt, shame, self-pity and condemnation.

A person who has a grasp of the 'finished work of Jesus' and the 'finality of the cross' do not have to feel guilty when he/she sins. They doubtlessly know that all their sins are behind the back of God, never to see them again. Its a message which humbles us, and enables us to say 'Thank you, Jesus' when we sin. It is not about being insensitive to sin, its not about seeing the unconditional forgiveness as a 'license' to indulge in sin. It is an understanding that, we are capable of doing any sin under the sun, but we don't have to lose heart when we do it, because all our sins are forgiven at the cross once and for all, and rejoice in the fact that God's power rests upon our weakness.

The Spirit of Jesus, who took away the sins from the sight of God, would never ever bring up the already forgiven and forgotten sins back again to condemn us and put us into shame and guilt.

Holy Spirit is not oxymoronic!

He is/was one among the Triune God, "who was in Christ, reconciling us to Himself, not counting our sins against us" (2 Corinthians 5:19). That being an accomplished fact, Holy Spirit would always point us back to the cross, and to the fact that we are perfectly righteous because of what Jesus did and thereby reminding us our need to stand on His grace alone every single day of our life.

As a believer...

2009-04-29T21:01:00.002-04:00

do you "follow" Jesus or do you abide in Him?

Does God love everyone or just Christians?

2009-04-28T15:30:00.000-04:00

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. - 1 John 2:2

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

Handling of our freedom

2009-04-16T10:44:00.003-04:00

Freedom always comes with a risk. The risk of misusing it. The risk of licentiousness to go uncontrolled in life. No wonder the churches over the ages teaches about freedom in Christ doctrinally, but never encourage people to apply it in practical life. For the practical purpose, they think, that people need law. At least some of them, like the 10 commandments for example. So they 'teach' freedom, but never let them live in freedom.

The result is slavery.

Slavery (law) is not the solution for the misuse of freedom.

Apostle Paul said "Everything is lawful, but not everything is profitable" (1 Corinthians 10:23). He also said, "do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another in love." (Galatians 5:13)

There is another passage which has a lot of implications in it: "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." - 1 Corinthians 8:9

Apostle Peter also encourages us saying "do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God." (1 Peter 2:16)

What is NOT the solution?

Apostle's solution wasn't suggesting to put us back under the law even while it was a fact they knew very well that people could misuse their freedom and indulge in sin. But, as a solution they did not give a set of principles along with the freedom they preached. In fact, Paul had some strong words against people falling back in to the law.

He said "stand firm in the freedom" and "do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery"

Is there a solution?

I have heard a great analogy about the difference between the country dog and city dog. The city dog usually live inside a fence, restricted from his freedom. So he is always looking for a crack in the fence, so that he can escape from his slavery. and He WILL sneak out, when he get a chance. Whereas, the country dog is totally free, he can go anywhere he wants, there is no fence, law or restrictions. But where would you find him all the time? At the feet of his master! He don't want to go!

He knows his master loves Him. He knows that His master has given him freedom. He sees His master's love and acceptance, and don't want to run away...

Knowing His love is the solution. As we get rooted and established in His love, we don't want to go, we don't want to misuse our freedom. Our desire is Him, His presence, His love and His grace. We realize that the temporary pleasures out there is nothing compared to His love and His presence in life. His grace "teaches us to say 'no' to ungodliness"(Titus 2:12). And as we see this truth, we would start living in His best interest.

What is your identity?

2009-04-08T11:22:00.005-04:00

What is your identity?

Are you "just an old sinner saved by grace."or a saint (holy, righteous child of God)?

Apostle Paul, as he writes to different assemblies, he addresses them by calling them saints:

To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints - Romans 1:7

To the church of God in Corinth, together with all the saints throughout Achaia - 2 Corinthians 1:1

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints in Ephesus - Ephesians 1:1

Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi - Philippians 1:1

giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. - Colossians 1:12

It looks like the believers in Rome, Corinth, Ephesus, Philippi and Colossia were called saints, although their actions weren't so much saint-like all the time. Those were ordinary people just like you and me, they pretty much looked like you and me (may be even bad), they didn't act holy all the time, they had problems in their lives just like you and me, they had questions and confusions, they didn't have the Bible like you an I have it today, they didn't have a stack of 'how to' christian books in their living room, they weren't perfect parents, husbands, wives or children, yet Apostle Paul called them "saints". In other words, God call them "saints". And God call us saints, because we have the very same righteousness of Christ Jesus. Is it too good to be true?

Obedience

2009-04-06T22:04:00.002-04:00

"True obedience is the unrestrained indulgence of our new nature" - Dwight Edwards

Be weak!

2009-03-25T10:21:00.004-04:00

I think it's better to be weak than strong. The words such as 'dedicated', 'strong' and 'committed' may sound appealing, but I wonder if it can help us in any way in our christian walk.

It's hard for me to admit that I am not strong but weak (especially as a man!). I have figured out that, any person, doesn't matter how dedicated they are in their Christian walk, is prone to temptation, sin and all kinds of troubles in life.

Some of the things we do or think might surprise us. The things which we thought we would never do or think as a Christian. Sometimes we sit and wonder, how in the world so and so person could do such a terrible thing, not knowing that, we too, given the right circumstances, could do the very same thing. Most of the time, it's the mater of time and right circumstance.

Apostle Paul was probably the most well known Christian ever lived on the planet earth. God used him to write 14 New Testament Epistles. That to me, is a huge thing! The person who possessed unbelievable depth and insight into the things of God. God used him mightily to reach so many people including Jews and Gentiles all around the world.

Yet, he made a surprising statement when he wrote his letter to the people at Corinth: "If I boast, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses".

Did you expect such a statement from the most influential, well known, zealous Christian? I think it reveals a very fundamental principle of Christian living: what counts is not your strength, but your weakness.

Give up your dedication, give up your commitment, give up your strength, give up your stinking self-righteousness and embrace God's awesome grace just like apostle Paul did. He came to a conclusion that "His grace is sufficient for me".

What about you?

It is in your weakness, Christ's power would rest on you. So, stop boasting about the things you do, the things you give up for godliness, the sins you abstain from, the integrity you think you have. Your dedication will melt away in a matter of seconds, if you are given the right circumstance. The mask will fall off from your face when you would least expect that it would happen.

At that moment, don't be surprised at the thing you did/thought because God is not surprised anyways! He always knew that you couldn't keep it up. That is why He sent His only begotten Son to do it for you. That is why He sent His own Spirit to do it through you.

He says, "His power is made perfect in your weakness". Apostle encourages us to "delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties." Then, he went on to say this most astounding statement: "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

A Christian's strength is in his weakness. If you are in a mess in your life, don't think it is unusual. It isn't! When you are tempted to do the things you have never imagined doing, don't be surprised. It is not unusual. When you fall flat on your face in the privacy of your room, know that you are weak and it's perfectly alright, because "his power is made perfect in your weakness". You are not going to live a perfect life in this world. So, don't even try. Just give up!

You WILL have troubles, you WILL have temptations, you WILL sin, you WILL get insulted, you WILL have hardships, persecutions and difficulties. If you would unrealistically expect anything contrary to this, you are buckling yourself up to face some deep disappointment, depression and disillusionment in your life.

Don't think troubles are unusual for a Christian. If you have it, you are perfectly normal. In fact, I would question a person's honesty if he claim that he has no troubles in his life and is always happy. The fact is, in the midst of all the mess you are in right now, the emotional or physical trauma you are going through, the secret sins you might be doing, the dirty desires in your heart, know this with full assurance: you are perfectly loved, accepted and eternally forgiven as a child of God. Take strength from that very fact and don't be afraid to be weak and vulnerable.

Again, when you are weak, then you are strong!

Be free...

2009-03-24T14:31:00.003-04:00

"In all my years as a Christian, I have never heard anyone say, "I've had it! I am sick to death of the love and grace of God. I'm sick of other Christians loving and accepting me. I'm giving up this Christian life." No I've never heard that. But I couldn't count the number of Christians I've known who have given up because of being under law, who have been broken by the crushing burden of trying to be good enough to earn God's acceptance, who have been mangled by the competition, the judging, and the demands to conform to some group's standards. "We'll accept you if you look like, walk like, talk like, and act like us." And the implication is always, "And God will, too." So what are we to do?

Jesus Christ came to free us from the burden of the law by calling us to a life united with His. We are beloved, accepted children of God, who have been called to His "banquet table" to experience Jesus Christ living in and through us every day. Abundant life is not "pie-in-the-sky" or nebulous theory. It is real, and it is ours for the taking if we will only believe. Let's not settle for anything less. "

- Bob George (Classic Christianity)

It wasn't oxygen!

2009-03-17T20:27:00.010-04:00

"And the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being" - Genesis 2:7

What was it God breathed into Adam's nostrils? Have you ever wondered? Was it the 'air' we breath? Was it oxygen? Check this excerpt from 'In His Image' by Dr. Paul Brand:

When I heard that verse as a child, I imagined Adam lying on the ground, perfectly formed but not yet alive, with God leaning over him and performing a sort of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Now I picture that scene differently. I assume that Adam was already biologically alive - the other animals needed no special puff of oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide to start them breathing, why should man? The breath of God now symbolizes for me a spiritual reality. I see Adam as alive, but possessing only an animal vitality. Then God breaths into him a new spirit, and infills him with His own image. Adam becomes a living soul, not just a living body. God's image is not an arrangement of skin cells or a physical shape, but rather an inbreathed spirit.

We know the rest of the story, that Adam sinned and lost what was inbreathed into him and became dead spiritually (the wages of sin is death). The Life of God went absent from him. He was no more bearing the image of God.

Fast forward to the New Testament, the last Adam (Jesus) came to earth to give us what we lost in the first Adam. Acting out of His unconditional love and grace, He resolved the cause of death - sin, once and for all and made the entire world capable of receiving the Life through simple faith.

Do we realize that it is the very Life raised Jesus from the dead is what raises us from the state of spiritual death, when we simply receive Him by faith?

"In him was life" - John 1:4

"For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it." - John 5:21

"Whoever believes in me has crossed over from death to life." - John 5:24

"For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world." - John 6:33

"I am the bread of life." - John 6:35

"I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you." - John 6:53

"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." - John 8:12

"I have come that they may have life" - John 10:10

"I am the resurrection and the life." - John 11:25

"I am the way and the truth and the life." - John 14:6

"By believing in the Son of God, you may have life in his name." - John 20:31

By faith, we receive the very inbreathed spirit (Life) what Adam had before the fall and we now become a living spiritual being. Alive to God! And now, God want us to give flesh to that spirit, to live out the image of God here on earth. We have His very own likeness! It's mind boggling!

The law is holy

2009-03-10T10:08:00.005-04:00

When we make statements such as,

'Law is the ministry of death', - 2 Cor 3:7

'Those who are under the law are under a curse', - Galatians 3:10

'Law kills us' etc, Romans 7:10

some people get it as if we are saying the law itself is bad and unholy. They immediately put on the coat of defense and start quoting Scriptures such as,

the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. - Romans 7:12

law is spiritual - Romans 7:14

This seems apparently contradicting and to make it even worse both those contrasting statements were made by Apostle Paul.

What can we conclude from this? Either Paul is contradicting himself or we are missing something.

Let's see if we can get this straight...

If law is holy, righteous and good, why would Paul spend so many pages of the Bible telling us that we, as believers should be totally free from the law?

Paul says, law cannot justify us (which many people agree) and he also says, law cannot help us to live a righteous life AFTER our justification (where many disagree).

Here are some verses clearly saying we are not to live by the law even after our salvation:

by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code. - Romans 7:6

Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law. - Galatians 3:25

(There are many other verses, but this is good for now)

So many honest, dedicated, well meaning Christians want to live a holy life and they earnestly try to follow the law. I admire their desire. But there is only one problem : they will burn out and fail and knowingly or unknowingly they are under a curse!

If the law is holy, good and righteous, why in the world the people who are trying to follow the holy, good and righteous law are under a curse?

Apostle Paul graciously answers this question (I love this guy).

He says, when the law said 'do not covet' (which is a holy, good and righteous command), the 'sin' in him, 'seized the opportunity' and 'produced every kind of covetous desire in me'

Was it a problem of the law? No!

Was it a problem of Apostle Paul himself? No!

What was the problem then? The 'sin' living in him.

This is the very reason he said,

the law gives sin its power. - 1 Cor. 15:56

Law empowers the sin in us. Law stirs up the sin in us. Is law bad? No! Are we (believers) bad? No! What is bad? The sin living in us.

When we look in the mirror, we see the dirt on our face. Is that a problem of the mirror? No. Is that a problem of our face? No. What is the problem? The dirt on our face.

Have you ever wondered why God introduced a 'New' covenant? Was the old covenant bad?

Absolutely not! Why would God make a bad covenant?

What then was the problem of the old covenant?

For if there had been nothing wrong with that first covenant, no place would have been sought for another. But God found fault with the people - Heb 8:7-8

The problem was the people! They couldn't keep it. So even before laying the foundation of the earth, God in His awesome grace and mercy, designed a NEW covenant in which He said, "I will remember your sins no more" and to accomplish it, He sent His own Son to earth to take away our sins!

Folks, this is good news! It is mind blowing! You can only sit down and look at this God with an overflowing heart of gratitude.

Okay, now the question is, if the law can only do bad in a believer's life, how are we to live a righteous life? a self-controlled life? upright, godly life?

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It (grace, the unconditional love of God) teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age - Titus 2:11-12

We live by grace, guys! And it teaches us how to handle our freedom. It is the forgiveness of God what encourages me to forgive others. It is the love of God what motivates me to love others. It is my acceptance by God with all my weaknesses what enables me to accept others with all their weaknesses.

Let's soak ourselves in this great love and let's be careful not to give an opportunity to sin to 'seize' us by our neck, by putting ourselves under the law. Live in grace! Live in freedom!

Water Baptism

2009-03-09T11:08:00.002-04:00

If you become a Christian through water baptism,

all those who take a shower are Christians...

And I become a Christian everyday (except those days I am just too lazy to take a shower)...

Aquarium fishes

2009-03-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

We had 4 fishes in our small kiddie aquarium and one of them died yesterday because Smita fed them too much and the food and their poop raised the mercury content in the water. So I had to do an emergency clean up yesterday so that we can keep the other three alive.

I think many Christians are like aquarium fishes - they look beautiful in the tank but you have to keep them alive by providing them a comfortable environment, right amount of food, clean water, clean filter, right temperature etc. They can't survive even a small change in the settings. They are very delicate.

Now, consider the fishes in the ocean. Their survivability is much higher because they are in the wild and they know how to cope with wilderness.

They are not in the tank.

In the tank, there is no much room for error because tank is very confined. A confined environment get contaminated soon.You over feed them or under feed them, they will die in both cases. You disrupt the nitrogen cycle in the tank, they will die.

You change the order, style or time of the service, many will leave. Because they immediately become uncomfortable. They need the cycle to be continued without disruption, they need to be fed with the right amount of food. You take the bottle out of their mouth and give them steak, they will die due to indigestion. Since they are not in the wild, they don't hunt for food themselves. So you appoint a feeder, usually a pastor. His job is very stressful because the lives of the inhabitants of the tank is now in his hands.

He keep giving them a pattern to follow and as long us they are in that comfort zone they are alive and would look great from outside. But don't jump into the tank deceived by their beauty. Its so hard to get out of the tank. The tank is usually in a temperature controlled living room. It's an artificial environment. It's not real. You can only entertain others showing your external beauty but you will never experience the wildness (natural state).

Fishes are not created for tanks!

As long as they are in the tank their life depends on the caretaker and the artificial environment.

Free them, then they will learn to live in the wild, in the freedom. They will swim in the depth and vastness of the ocean. They will develop immunity to fight problems, enemies. They will learn to discern. They will start using their own mind. They will dump the law of the tank and embrace the freedom of the grace. You don't need to spoon-feed the fishes which are in the wild. Because they are now living like their Creator intended them to live.

Christian living is...

2009-03-05T15:21:00.000-05:00

...not about trying to achieve a certain standard, but it is living out the standard we already have.

however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. - (Philippians 3:16, NASB)

A tough week!

2009-03-02T12:55:00.004-05:00

The words "My tummy hurts" usually followed by a scream.

That was the one thing I heard over and over and over for the past 7-8 days at home. There were moments I felt numb, helpless and exhausted. Both Jessica (4½ yrs) and Jonathan (2½ yrs) were sick since last Sunday. Initially we thought it was a regular stomach flu. But as the pain and nausea didn't stop after 3 days, we knew that wasn't the case. Jessica was able to bear pain to a certain degree, but Jonathan was literally miserable.

Pediatrician initially suspected appendicitis and send us to E.R. They took a series of X-Rays and ruled out appendicitis. They thought it was constipation and gave him an enema. On top of the pain, he was nauseated and absolutely no eating but was drinking some if we would force, which kept his body hydrated. After long hours in E.R we came home but he continued being sick and was in terrible pain.

Back to Pediatrician's office.

They suggested another series of X-rays to see if it was intussusception of intestines. Took him to another hospital where they have specialized pediatric care. X-ray was an instant read and they confirmed right away that it wasn't intussusception.

Back to home...

He is still in pain. Can't even sleep for more than 30 minutes!

Then they suggested an abdominal ultra sound.

Back to Radiology department. (In the meantime, the Pediatrician suggested seeing a surgeon.)

He went under the camera and the radiologist found that lymph glands around his intestine were enlarged. A condition called mesenteric adenitis caused by some virus.

There is no medicine to fight the virus other than waiting to see it going away in its due time. Smita and I took turns carrying him. Smita cried with him. We tried giving enough attention to Jessica as well because she was also sick by the same virus but symptoms were milder. We didn't sleep much these days, didn't eat well and we both lost about 5-10 pounds in one week (which is a good thing!). But it was worth when we saw him smiling on Saturday first time since previous Sunday...

Lessons and some facts:

1. Well kids are a blessing, do not take them for granted.
2. Thank God for the medical insurance, doctors, hospitals, radiologists and nurses (an everyone in the chain).
3. Be amazed at the incredible complexity of the human body and do not miss the opportunity to know the creator of it.
4. Appreciate parents who have sick children. I salute you!
5. Slow down in life.
6. Can't emphasis enough the value of spending time with kids while they are well and playful.
7. Thank God for their smile.
8. Appreciate a peaceful good night sleep.

Thank you for those who prayed and called!

The most difficult prayer

2009-02-23T09:26:00.005-05:00

I think the reason we pray more and listen less is because we are not ready to give up our control. I tend to tell God what to do, which is kind of foolish if we think about it. I desperately want all the circumstances in my control and I desire to have things going the way I want.

To me, the most difficult prayer is - "Your will be done". It's scary. I feel like losing all my control, giving up my agendas (which I am not used to)...

Could we pray like this?

When we lose our job
- "Your will be done"

When we face foreclosure
- "Your will be done"

When our children make foolish decisions
- "Your will be done"

When we find out we have cancer
- "Your will be done"

When we lose our loved ones
- "Your will be done"

When your spouse leaves you for another man/woman
- "Your will be done"

When our comfort zones are challenged
- "Your will be done"

When a hurricane hits our area
- "Your will be done"

When our loved ones reject Jesus
- "Your will be done"

If we can't pray this prayer, how can we:

Give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus? - (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Homeownership for dummies

2009-02-19T15:24:00.004-05:00

I am having a blast in my home ownership deal. I will share a few of the latest.

Ever since we bought this home we are seeing light water leakage in the basement when it either rains or when the snow melts. (It is a surprise that we didn't notice the water stain on the floor when we came to view this home before buying it!) I had been ignoring this all these days because of the fact that our basement is not carpeted. But now that we have decided to fully finish the partially finished basement, the water leak bothered me. The guy who is doing the finishing work helped me to take the drywall out of the area where it leaks so that we can take a look at the bare wall to find any cracks. After he took the wall off, we realized that the water is not really leaking through the wall, instead the water is coming from way 'up there'. By observing from the outside, we figured out that somehow water is streaming through the vinyl wall when it rains (which it shouldn't be doing, all the water is supposed to go to the roof gutters)

But I still had to find the area where the water enters inside the wall and I am almost getting scared by the fact that when it comes to home repair and maintenance, I am a dummy. Is there a much stronger word than 'dummy'?

But hey, like all the men in the world, I am not willing to admit it...

So, for the past few days, in the morning, before I go to work, I take my ladder, unfold it and climb up there to 'check' things on the roof. Every time I go I would trouble my wife, asking her to get the flash light etc as if I am doing some important work and she has to 'assist' me in small things like handing over a flash light. The truth of the matter is I am afraid of heights but the realization that if I try to bring in a 'Professional leak proofer' I would end up paying big bucks, overtakes the fear of height. So I carefully climb up there with jerking knees, standing on the ladder, look all over the roof with a 'Forrest Gump' kind of face.

After a minimum of 8-10 climbs so far I still have absolutely no clue where the water is leaking through. One of the biggest challenge is, to do this we have to wait for rain or melting snow (which don't happen everyday) Each time I come down from the ladder, I am more afraid that I am failing in my mission. I ask myself: shouldn't all men need to know these things. I would feel very inferior and stupid!

Once I come inside the home after each of my adventure trips to the the roof, my wife would curiously ask me if I have found anything. I used to share all my 'knowledge' and findings with her earlier but lately I would just say 'still investigating'. The thing is I have absolutely no clue.

You might be thinking that I am a miser and not ready to spend any penny on my home. Well, not exactly! Few days ago, I called a leak proofing company and a guy came and explained what 'could' be happening and finally said, they don't fix this kind of things. It seems like they fix only the leaks coming from the foundation of the basement. (Talk about specializations!)

So where do clueless dummies go? Where else other than Internet? (I wonder how people even lived without internet!)

So I search in google for phrases like 'roof leak + water in basement', 'why roof leaks?', 'how to stop leak?' etc. I read a lot of similar stories in "Yahoo Answers" and as I realize there are a whole lot of people out there with similar or may be more severe problems than this, I will feel so relieved. I even feel good. Also, I have learned so many terms such as 'shingles', 'drip edge', 'caulk', 'sealant' etc. Now when I talk to my wife about this issue, I will use those words and smile inside because I know she has no clue what I am talking about. She is dummier than me in these kind of stuff.

Well, anyways I thought I would share this. There is not much spiritual application here other than my recent prayers to stop raining and snowing in Michigan. We have no luck so far, so I am kind of stuck. May be I will climb up there once again this evening and see if I can find anything! (No kidding!) I even prayed to direct my path to the source of the leak...

Classic Tour - Detroit, Michigan

2009-02-19T12:58:00.004-05:00

People to People team is doing a Classic tour conference here in Detroit on March 6-7. In the meeting, which is held at Kensington Community church, Bob George will be sharing his own personal journey from a disappointed and unfulfilled religious life to a new relational, dynamic life in Christ Jesus.

As I have shared before here, this ministry (especially their daily radio broadcast and Bob George's book 'Classic Christianity') has been a huge blessing in my own life.

If you are living or visiting Detroit area during that time, or if you can travel down here, attending this 2 day meetings would be a great blessing.

By the way, Kensington church is merely 1 mile away from my home, so pls. let me know if you are planning on coming...

Hi, my name is 'Mr. Church'

2009-02-13T15:37:00.014-05:00

And I have so many siblings and cousins, we are very proud of who we are.

You may see us in every nook and corner of America and all over the world.

In some places we are underground but in America we are mostly overground and we think it's okay either ways.

We stand there in various shapes, styles and names.

Some of us are dwarfs and some are tall and fat. The more fatter we are, the more successful our care-taker is.

All of us have care-takers called - pastors, priests, rabbis etc and they all come in different flavors depending on which family there were born or who converted them later on.

Have you seen Jesus's statues in us? Aren't they beautiful? Some of our Jesus' are bleeding, some are blessing, some are gloomy and depressed. But as long it has a beard and a divine light around its head, it is Jesus.

Some people love us and some hate us, but we really don't care.

Sometimes we think that it's funny people build us so beautiful but use only for few hours a week and pay mortgages year-round. LOL! Well, may be it isn't that funny!

Some of us are 'mega' and it usually depends on the charisma of our care-taker.

People build gymnasiums, swimming pools, prayer rooms, cafes, delis etc inside us and the more entertainment, the more happy the residents are. Isn't that cool? Oh! by the way, we love the poor.

Some of us are like iMax theaters - cushion chairs with cup holders on it, huge screens for the play. We don't mind if you take a nap sitting in our comfy chairs or enjoy a cup of coffee while watching the play. Hey, after all we are there to make you comfortable!

Is your marriage in trouble? Come to us, we have marriage seminars!

Would you like to learn how to raise your kids in Christian discipline? You are welcome to attend our 'Parenting lessons on strict christian worldview'.

Do you aspire to become a leader (and ultimately a care-taker of one of us)? Come on in, we have leadership seminars!

We have solutions for pretty much any problems people face - social, political, cultural, behavioral, you name it.

Are you confused whom to cast your vote? Listen to our pastor!
Are you confused whom to marry?Attend our youth ministry, you sure will find your soul mate there. But don't mess with the freedom there, we are against abortions.

Some of our pastors might talk about Jesus and His love, grace, blah blah, but don't worry if those things don't work, we have enough other tools and techniques to make you a good christian.

Sitting in our pews, you will feel the peace jesus offered, because we have dim lights, slow music, comfy chairs and air-conditioned halls.

Some of us are 'Full Gospel', some are Half Gospel and some are No Gospel.

Would you like to experience a little more 'glory' while you worship? Pick the ones with stained glasses and distinguished arts in it.

After all you are free to pick us. You have Freedom!

By the way, are you too lazy to wake up early on Sundays? The sermons preached by our pastor is available on DVD for a minimum donation of $60. Who can beat that price?

If you are first time visiting, feel free to pass that offering plate to the next person; but if you are a member, well, you know...

Most of us have visions. If you want to know our vision, check our website.

Some of our siblings and cousins fight and don't like each other, but don't worry we all believe the same thing.

Now, you are not a big fan of those slow hymns? Looking for a little 'high'? No worries, some of us have rock and roll worship, you will surely enjoy those. Feel free to use the freedom to dance and feel good.

Too shy to dance and worship? We provide dance lessons and worship practices. Make use of those free classes. They are absolutely free. There is no catch.

Are you someone who likes to dress up and show off? We have both contemporary and traditional services. Contemporary is 'come as you are' (blue jeans ok), traditional is more of suit and tie. Pick the one you like.

Have you never been to one of us before? There are 'seeker friendly' ones. Check them out! They are pretty cool. And, hey, pls. don't forget to fill out the visitor cards. It's very important to us.

Some of us are very politically correct and post modern, we accept pretty much any ideas under the sun. How cool is that?

You don't like the shape of some of us? Check out our newly introduced 'home' ones. You will feel like at home.

We usually operate around our pastors, who are usually very smart. We don't exist without them, so respect them, ok?

Why religion? Just why?

2009-02-10T13:30:00.000-05:00

When I lived in the walls of institutionalized church, I felt as if I was holding a fragile glassware up on my finger tip all the time, balancing it with extreme care so that it won’t fall down and break. It was like a circus. All my energy had been used to balance the glassware, so my growth was stunt.

My every strength was consumed for the ‘defense’ against temptations (falling).

I thought if call my ‘secular’ friends, I might fall into sin or talk ungodly talks, so I purposefully avoided meeting/talking with my friends of ‘pre-IC’ era.

I avoided some of my office get-togethers’ just because those were done in bar restaurants. I thought, what if I get tempted to drink alcohol?

I stayed away from smokers. What if I get tempted to smoke cigarettes?

I closed my nose to avoid smell of some good food. What if I get tempted to eat while I am fasting?

I stayed away from 'worldly' people. What if I get an 'influence' from them?

I never felt secured in the love of God. Never! So I was always trying to hold this glassware (religion) up so that I can feel a false security. Some of the things in it were: do not mingle with unbelievers, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, do not look at woman, do give tithes, do vote conservatives, keep strict 'christian' boundaries (whatever that means), stand against 'evil doers', always look for ways to witness to everyone you ever encounter, etc

I could never live loved. There wasn't even a shred of freedom in that life. Religion shrank my heart.

Insecurity and fear were the two things driving me all the time.

I was afraid, if I let the thing I am holding fall down, god would whack me and throw me straight to hell.

Fear was my motivation to hold it up all the time.

I never grew up; there wasn’t any room for growth. All the resources were used to ‘keep the lights on’ or in other words, to 'keep the mask on'.

Now I am asking why? Why religion? For what purpose? Let that glassware fall down and break! Let those things roll on the floor! Let those shackles be shattered, and you soar up like the eagles of righteousness... Let no religion, in any way or form, hold you down!

On the Lighter Side... :)

2009-02-09T09:34:00.004-05:00

What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church?

Baptism by the Water Cooler

iBible

(Thanks to Walking Church for the above links)

Automatic Confession

The bait and switch gospel

2009-02-05T21:52:00.003-05:00

We say people can come into the Kingdom through grace, but once they're in, we switch from grace to duty, obligation, and pressure. Though we preach that you can't contribute a thing to your own salvation and that it's all God's gift for you, once you're "safe" however, you'd better keep up and step up. This fallacy is why Paul had to be pointedly firm with God's family in Galatia when he said: "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" In today's distorted Christianity, you can come in under God's power, but once you're in the door, it's about your effort to make this thing work. Grace dissolves into exertion. And because you can never do enough, exertion soon turns to shame: "I know I'm supposed to be serving, loving, thinking pure thoughts, but I just can't. It goes well for a while, then I blow it... again." Soon, shame turns into resignation: "I no longer want to try harder. I feel like giving up." And God asks the Church, "Why do you turn my glory into shame?!"
- Jim Robbins (Recover Your Good Heart, page 10)

Some souls...

2009-02-03T10:15:00.015-05:00

The way they draw water...

Water is precious...

It's not easy as turning the tap on...

They way they work...

The way they sleep...

They way they travel...

The way they live...

The way they sell their products...

Comfy bed for a nap?

Too young for this kind of work?

Photo courtesy: www.shajujohn.com

One gospel for New Yorkers, another one for New Guineans

2009-01-26T14:25:00.001-05:00

Imagine preaching the same 'prosperity gospel' preached in New york, to the people living in the villages of New Guinea!

To the people who are living in the falling apart hay huts...

Imagine telling them that God would bless them with Cadillac's, Lexus's, computers, iPhones or jobs in big corporations if they only knew how to 'claim' God's blessings. Or if they had enough 'faith'! Lets say, God blessed them with Cadillac's, where would they drive those? Do they have roads? Are they more concerned about luxury cars and homes than food to survive? I think it is safe to assume that most of them would be pretty happy if they had enough food to eat and a place to lay their head at night.

Is the message of Gospel geographic-specific? Would it be different based on what country/region you live in? Is it era-specific, that its relevant today but wasn't relevant 2000 years ago?

I thought the message of gospel, which was true 2000 years ago is still the same today and forever for ALL humanity all over world.

Well, only if it's preached for what it is...

Did Jesus have one message for New yorkers and another one for New Guineans?

I think this is where we would need to make a come back to the core fundamental truth of the Bible and see what truly the message of Gospel is, and learn to keep the 'majors' as majors and 'minors' as minors in the Bible.

One of the famous passages written by Apostle Paul goes like this,

I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith." - Romans 1:16-17

So, the gospel is about God's gift of righteousness given to us through Christ Jesus! It is about Jesus doing something we could never do. It is, 'God reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them'. It is about Christ providing forgiveness for the entire humanity(Africans, Americans, Asians, Europeans) through His death and was raised from dead so that He can give the same LIFE which resurrected Him, to us, which is eternal LIFE. It is about restoring what we lost in Adam - spiritual life.

Now, that is a good news for anyone - poor, sick, rich, homeless, New Yorker, New Guinean, white, black, brown, yellow, green! It was a good news 2000 years ago, still a good news in 2009 and it will be a good news until the second coming of Christ. It won't change and it cannot be changed!

Imagine telling a sick, malnutritioned African kid that he is sick because he is not 'claiming' what God has for him. Imagine telling a born-handicapped person that he is handicapped because he has no enough faith to claim healing. Imagine telling a mute person that since he is not speaking in tongues, he is less spiritual.

It looks like we turned spirituality into a mechanism for our physical and material well-being here on earth. Seemingly becoming more and more selfish. And we try to sell a 'puppet jesus' who would satisfy our greedy consumerism! And we think we are better than others since we have more 'stuff' and a stuff-providing god.

What is Jesus has to offer me? a trouble-free life? healing? prosperity? an emotional gratification? a short-term entertainment?

What is the fellowship with other believers going to offer me? sense of community? security of a friends circle?

What is the Church has to offer me?

What is the pastor has to offer me?

It's all about ME! I love ME!

When there are troubles in our life, what is the one question which frequently comes to our mind?

"Why ME?"

Where is that question coming from? It is coming from the deep reality that we think we are better than others! When someone else had an accident/sickness/job loss, we didn't ask "why she?" or "why he?" Did we? We just sympathized with them and prayed for them. But when the same thing happens to us, we ask loud : "Why me" or "Why my wife/husband/kids?"

I would ask another question in return : Why NOT?

Who is not prone to sickness or accident or job loss? Since I am a Christian (and a better one), I shouldn't lose my job? If, so all the people who had lost their jobs are somehow 'bad'? I should always get that promotions I wanted? And I should always own a big house in the subdivision? nice car? nice vacation? and I should be perfectly healthy all the time? (One thing that I still don't understand, that if I am supposed to be perfectly healthy always, I shouldn't die even if I am 150 years old!)

Where in the Bible Jesus/Apostles promised a trouble-free life? I can't see it!

When I think that I am living in perfect health and harmony and I am entitled for such blessing because I am a Christian/believer, what I am unknowingly proclaiming is that the believers who are less fortunate (who has no car, no enough food, no home, no medical insurance, no vacation, no enough money, no job, no doctor) are somehow inferior to me; there by, I believe God has partiality!

Why would we believe that Christians should be sickness-free and poverty-free when it is a mere fact that there are genuine believers who are sick and poor?

It is also a fact that there are unbelievers who are much more healthier and wealthier than many Christians. How do we explain that? When I get nice weather, the 'sinner' next door is also getting the same nice weather, how dare!

Folks, when did Jesus become a god of wealthy? (This is not to say that He is just the God of poor). I am saying, he is God of every single believer all around in the world, regardless of whether he/she is poor, wealthy, sick, well, white, black, brown, yellow, American, Canadian, Chinese, homeowner, homeless, CEO, clerk, nanny, prisoner, landscaper, jobless or handicapped.

Jesus did not die only for the people who live in developed countries on earth, he also died for those in the slum villages of Africa and India. And it is absolutely possible that a person can be a child of God while still living in a poor village where there are no hospitals, transportation or a sense of (physical) security.

He/She can still be totally content, joyful, and in total peace!

for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. - Apostle Paul (Phil 4:11-13)

Find out if you are a legalist...

2009-01-21T11:03:00.008-05:00

1. Have you ever felt pressured to hide your sin/s?

2. Do you act differently among believers and unbelievers?

3. Do you feel pressured to convert others into your beliefs?

4. Do you feel bad when you skip church on Sundays?

5. Do you have a perfectionist spirit?

6. Do you hate homosexuals?

7. Do you boast about your religion?

8. Do you feel guilty when you can't keep up your daily 'time with God'?

9. Have you ever got into a fight with your spouse/kids on Sunday morning for they being late for church?

10. Have you ever worried about the 'bad' things people may say during your funeral?

11. Do you think more about your church/ministry than God Himself?

12. Do you have a liking towards the preaching from the OT over the preaching from the NT?

13. Do you think that if you don't tithe, you may lose your favor with God?

14. Do you put pressure on your spouse/kids to keep/make things perfect all the time?

15. Do you feel pressured to convict others about why you believe what you believe?

16. Do you have a different face in church and home?

17. Have you ever felt guilty for not taking a particular ministry at church?

18. Do you have an accountability partner?

19. Have you ever thought that you can tame your fleshly desires and make God more happy?

20. Do you attend seminars like where they teach 'Christian principles'?

21. Have you ever felt pressured to save your pastor's face?

22. Though others think that you are very righteous and posses high moral values, have you ever wondered why you feel dirty inside?

23. Do you tell others that your religion is doing wonders in your life while in reality it's making you miserable?

24. Do you search Scriptures for do's and don'ts?

25. Are you easily angered when some one talk bad about your pastor/church/denomination/religion?

26. Do you teach your kids '10 commandments' and tell them that God get angry if they break one of them?

27. Do you feel any insecurity when you break one of your own do's or don'ts?

28. Do you think more about hell and demons than heaven and God?

29. Do you try hard to be 'good' to others?

30. Do you boast about your charities?

31. Do you believe that your church is the only true church?

32. Have you tried to memorize the sermon on the mount and other Scriptures which has either a 'do' or a 'don't'?

33. Do you believe that the salvation can be lost?

34. Do you always look for creative ways to hide your shortcomings from others?

35. Do you spend more time trying to clean up others from their sins than telling them about God's love?

36. Are you a believer that you have to keep confessing your sins to God in order to keep you forgiven?

37. Do you like Scriptures like 1 John 1:9 than Scriptures like Heb 10:10?

38. Do you believe that salvation itself is by grace, but sanctification is by 'works' (obedience to the law)?

39. When you visit a Christian book store, do you look for 'how to' books?

40. Do others think that you are good enough, but you feel deep inside that you are falling short?

41. Do you recite/ponder/quote verses like 'work out your salvation with fear and trembling' than other verses like 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'?

42. Do you particularly search for Scriptures which sound as if God's love is conditional?

43. Do you act as if you love sinners, but literally hate them?

44. Do you believe you will go 'out of fellowship' with God if you sin or don't do enough of the spiritual routines such as prayer, bible study, church attendance or 'quiet time with God'?

45. When you talk about list of sins, do you always talk about 'big' ones like adultery and ignore 'small' ones like selfishness, greediness, self-centeredness, pride, envy etc?

46. Have you ever felt that the more you put yourself under more strict laws/rules/principles, the more you are tempted to sin and preoccupied with sinful thoughts? But you still try to make it more stricter?

47. No matter how much you do the 'right' things and abstain from the 'wrong' things, do you still feel it isn't good enough?

48. Do you try to get a LIFE from the scriptures?

49. Do you participate in 'prayer chains' or 'fasting chains' and feel proud about it?

50. Do you show off your spirituality/religiosity?

51. Do you use prayer, fasting, worship, discipline, ministry, tithing, charity, obedience, righteous living etc as tools to please God and earn His favor?

52. Are you motivated/driven by fear rather than love when it comes to your religion/spirituality/relationships?

53. Do you tend to control/manipulate others, especially using fear-tactics?

54. Do you seek/desire after leadership positions at your church? Do you feel that you 'deserve' some positions?

55. Do you feel tempted to correct every false doctrines in the world? Do you spend more time telling others how their religion is wrong?

56. Do you feel proud when your pastor/leader publicly praise your ministerial works?

57. Do you seek to gain more (biblical) knowledge to attract attention of others?

58. Do you feel insecured if your belief/s is challenged and do you frantically look for scriptures to (somehow) defend your belief?

If you answered 'Yes' for at least one of these, you have legalistic traits; if you answered 'Yes' for more than one, you are a 'mild' legalist and the scale goes up to a hardcore Pharisee as the number of 'Yes''s goes up...

I just realized, on a 1 to 10 scale, I come somewhere in the middle :)

Grace isn’t flashy, but it’s ‘weird’

2009-01-13T10:53:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I think this thing about grace cannot be captured through writing blogs or books. It can't be contained in any digital, electronic or physical form. Because there is nothing to be 'seen'. We can't make a movie about grace or God's love. If we try to do so, we will do injustice to the depth of His love. There is nothing 'flashy' about this. We can't add a 'mega' to it and make it to the headlines. His kingdom is unseen; there aren’t big buildings and flashy people. It’s about ordinary people living in a relationship with Jesus.

Jesus was the same. He chose ‘Bethlehem’ to be born. A barn was Mary's 'labor and recovery' room and a manger was Jesus's comfy crib. Mary herself was an ordinary woman. Jesus was extraordinary by being ordinary, He chose everything ordinary or even below ordinary. That's true about His love. If it was today, the mainstream media wouldn't probably notice. Who would care what is happening in a tiny town in a tiny country? There might be some local news papers making fun of the 'carpenter-turned-spiritual-guru' who was born out of wed-lock and of his ‘weird’ set of disciples.

He didn't build mega churches and wasn't the most influential evangelical Christian. The entire nation didn’t admire Him. He was a regular guy – mostly homeless, hungry, thirsty and ultimately was killed like a criminal. His message wasn’t about material prosperity. It wasn’t about finding happiness in the ‘stuff’ of this world. He didn’t mail out letters seeking ‘partners’ for His ministry. His message wasn’t about how to make the best out of this world. He said, we are in the world but not of the world. He said he came with a sword to make divisions. Do you think today’s politically correct crowd would accept someone who says he is here to make divisions?

I can tell you from my experience, grace does make divisions. It is true.

Jesus wasn’t necessarily eloquent and didn’t posses much charisma. He talked straight. He was blunt. He was not politically correct. He didn’t give the expected answers for their questions. I doubt he was even good looking despite the fact that some of the movies and pictures portray Him as handsome and attractive.

Why is the people who has accepted the grace of God, a minority? And probably going to be a minority always? Because grace isn’t flashy! Grace is about love and it’s about RECEIVING love, it isn’t about earning or achieving, thus it goes against the grain of the religion of ‘self improvement’. It is about humility. It’s about laying down our pride of self-righteousness and accepting the GIFT of righteousness. It is not about ’10 spiritual things you can do to improve the quality of your life’. It isn’t about ‘christ-centered yoga’ to improve your devotional life. It isn’t about ’21 Christian principles for a prosperous life’. Instead, it is about REST. It is about being contented in ALL the circumstances.

Does this world know, what is it being contented in all circumstances? This world would call a person who is not working his butt off, a fool or lazy. This is true in religion as well. If you aren’t a ‘hardworking’ minister, you are probably not eligible to be a minister. Who would hire you if you don’t have a thick resume?

I have stopped looking for a big group of people with whom I can validate my faith because I am convinced that I would be part of a minority as long as I live under grace. I can’t make grace enough flashy to attract people to this message.

I can tell only the truth.

Grace is not going to fix all your problems in this world. Grace is not going to make you rich. Grace is not going to heal you from all your sicknesses. Grace is not going to make you famous. Grace is not going to make you happy all the time. Grace is not going to make you achieve sinless perfection. Throw all those unrealistic expectations out of the window and come to Jesus empty handed and here is the thing: your deep longing to be loved and accepted will be met in Him. Guaranteed! And for eternity He will never leave you nor forsake you. You will be perfectly loved as you are right now, right here without making any behavior changes or self improvements. You will be safe in His hands.

Isn't it 'weird' that someone accepting and loving us perfectly and unconditionally with all our of shortcomings, weaknesses and pettiness?

I can't love!

2009-01-08T14:20:00.000-05:00

I find it so difficult to love certain type of people - the people who are selfish, self-righteous, and those who do double talk. It’s funny that I am not free from any of these yet I find it hard to love others when I see them executing these characteristics. I know, who is NOT selfish? Who is not broken? But I keep forgetting it. We can all come together in our brokenness. I need Jesus in the same way the most selfish person on earth needs Him. I am no different. I did nothing differently to gain His acceptance in the first place. But I still struggle to accept others.

I do believe that God loves me unconditionally, but struggle to believe that God love others also unconditionally. Which means, I fail to see God’s love for what it is. Otherwise, why wouldn’t I love people no matter how they are?

Within me, I have no ability to love. If at all there are any traits of love in me, it’s Him. I am learning this lesson and it’s hard. I am sitting here and trying to generate love towards the people I hate. God is love, but Bino is not love. He loves people, not me. When He loves people through me, it appears as though I am loving, but it’s Him.

I believe any love or act of love which isn’t from God is not love at all. I get frustrated when I can’t love. And I think it’s better not to show love than faking it up. It deceives both parties.

I want to love but sometimes I can't and the resolution I am reaching at is that this occurs when I live outside the truth. Because the truth is that the personification of perfect love lives in me and as I learn to live according to this truth I would be able to exhibit love, even to the difficult people. But it seems too far now.

My spiritual evolution

2009-01-02T15:04:00.000-05:00

Born to religious parents

Traditionally religious

Looking for something exciting

Growing a rebellious spirit against established orthodoxy

Experimenting with Protestantism/Charismaticism

Seeking answers - Apologetics

Being proud of being a protestant

Biblisicm

Self-righteousness

Religion returns

Roller coaster spirituality

Confusion

Being exposed to the 'finality of the cross' and the 'reality of the resurrection'

Questioning

Threats, pressure and more confusion

Stepping out the boat

Unlearning begins

Walking few steady steps, slipping

Holding onto Jesus's hands, hanging on to grace

Law threatens and seduces

Religion tries to inject insecurity

Embracing grace (By His grace!)

Walking by faith

Faith, freedom, mess, growth...

More mess, more growth, more freedom...

Jesus, Thank You!

My Christmas confessions

2008-12-29T12:47:00.006-05:00

After many days of too much food, too much wine, too much toys, too much running back and forth to the toy store, too much confusion about what to buy for my wife, too much exhausting driving on the snow, mental turmoil about confusion on gifts and cards for different people, running back to the toy store to return the toys which the kids didn't like or wasn't doing what it was supposed to do as per the claims on its cover, I am ready to take a deep breath and do a reality check.

Both my wife and I working on full time jobs, with 2 little kids to take care of, as we entered the month of December, I dreamt about the upcoming Christmas holidays as a time to slow down, relax and possibly catch up some of my reading. Unfortunately the reality was the opposite. Now the Christmas is over and I have no energy left to spare and feeling drained emotionally and spiritually. And now I am hoping to recuperate during the two days off for the New Year!

When I went for shopping, seeing crowded shoppers frantically running around the shops looking for gifts, I didn't think this country was in a recession. I found that the commercialization of this holiday is a huge success. I am also a victim of it. I feel trapped.

After all the hectic days, I am wondering out loud, where was Christ in all the busyness? I seldom thought about Him. I was worried about a whole lot of things that I didn't have time to think about Jesus's love. But it's true that He was still loving me while I wasn't even aware of it.

It is one thing that it brought joy to my heart when I saw the excitement in the eyes of kids when they opened the gifts, but it's another thing that I conveniently forgot about the many parents around the world who can't even afford food to keep their children alive. I feel that I live in abundance and the multiple choices around me often confuses me - the options to chose food, drink, dress, toys etc. I guess the people who have no much choices have little or no confusion in their life.

I feel that Christmas brings anxiety and tension to many people instead of joy, peace and love. Many families and individuals are worried that they have no enough money to afford gifts. We have come so far that the 'gift' is an obligation now. We almost forgot the definition of 'gift' itself. We no longer like to receive freely, we want to 'pay back' as soon as possible.

I didn't really enjoy Christmas because anything which wouldn't let me slow down and contemplate on the issues of life and love Christ has offered to us, it's not an enjoyment. Instead, I was drifted away. I gave myself up for pleasing people in an obligatory way.

There were lot of things which I had been setting aside to do during these holidays (such as burning some home videos to DVDs). Needless to say that they are still undone.

On the top of all these, now I realize that it would take at least an year to lose the extra pounds I have gained from over eating during these few days!

I didn't enjoy the snow, instead I cursed it because it tried to slow me down. I don't like anything which slows me down when I have so much things to 'do'.

Is it time to think outside the normal craziness of Christmas? May be doing it in a different, 'out of the norm' way? May be doing nothing but thinking about what Christmas really means? May be setting aside the obligatory, forced, 'feel trapped' kind of celebrations and just love one needy person?

Good news of great joy for ALL people...

2008-12-24T05:58:00.004-05:00

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for ALL the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. - Luke 2:8-11

Celebrating with you the birth of Christ, our Lord and Savior who indeed brought great joy to us. Merry Christmas to all my brothers and sisters in Christ...

The school crisis!

2008-12-11T13:02:00.007-05:00

My wife and I still go back and forth on the issue of whether we should send our kids to public or private school. When they were babies we always thought that we would send them to only a private school, preferably a Christian School. My daughter is going to be 5 years in next June and we are currently in the mode of researching various schools. At some point, economically thinking, I thought public school would be fine. Our school district isn’t bad as well. Then as I thought more about it, I kind of backed off a bit; because I didn’t want my kids to be taught that we are evolved from Monkeys!

Anyways long story short, yesterday I took some time to research some Christian schools near by. One of my search criterion was a school without a denomination affiliation. It boiled down to just one school finally which is about 6 miles away from home. I was excited about everything I read in their website and we were going to see if we can pay a visit to see the facility and meet the staff.

To my surprise, my wife, as she read further on their website today, found out the below requirement:

[Name of the school] exists as an aid to Christian parents in their God-given responsibility of training their children in the way of the Lord. To this end, the school requires that parents be confessing Christians to assure consistent mutual goals between family and school. Parents and students will be required to sign a parent-student agreement that indicates agreement with the doctrinal statement and promises to maintain a Christian lifestyle in the home. In addition, a recommendation form from the family’s pastor is also required.

The parents must support the policies of the school. This is most important in teaching the Biblical principles the school is founded upon, but also in the area of discipline, schoolwork, and parent/teacher support.

Ouch!

I am faced with a huge challenge now: I have no family pastor and I don't know how to make one!

I am not a member of any church organization.
I have no family pastor.
I am not a church-goer.
I am not religious.
I don't tithe.
I don't do 'ministry'.
I am not part of a 'small group'.
I don't follow a set of 'laws'.

But,

Jesus loves me.
He gave His life for me.
I have the Spirit of God living in me.
I am a child of the Most High.
I am a citizen of heaven.
I am righteous and holy in Christ.
I have eternal life.
I am fully forgiven.
I am placed in the Body of Christ (Church) by Him.
I am clothed with Christ.
Jesus is my Shepperd, Bridegroom and Friend.
I am complete in Him.
And, I can't prove any of these!

Can I still be considered as a Christian? Would they accept me as a Christian? Who can give me a certificate of recommendation?

The pressure to save God's face.

2008-12-05T10:14:00.000-05:00

When something unusual such as a sickness or a financial struggle hits us, my wife says, she feel hesitant to express her true feelings to others, especially to those who think that we are a kind of 'weird' Christians. She, in a funny way said, she feel pressured to save God's face. In other words, she don't want to face people's "where is your faithful God?" question. I too struggle with this. I am afraid to be vulnerable and real with those who really don't know where I stand in my spiritual life; to those who don't know that I too have struggles.

Our son (2.5 yrs old) has Vitiligo and it has become very visible and noticeable on his face in past few months. People have started asking about it. Medical Science considers this as a condition passed through hereditary but as far as we know there isn't anyone in our family history who had this disease. So, we don't know why our son. Humans haven't discovered any real cure for this disease. This is a very unique illness which can have a very difficult emotional and psychological impact on the patient as well as on his/her family. We are not afraid of this and we are doing everything we can in terms of finding alternative medicines etc and hoping and praying that God would heal him. But the healing hasn't happened yet, in the mean time we are faced with questions. I can foresee some questions coming in our way challenging our faith even.

My wife says, she is afraid to express her concerns about this to someone because what if they think that she has no hope and faith? How can she send a paradoxical message that she has hope in Jesus but at the same time worried about her son? Who would buy such a fragile hope? Though I haven't really put my thoughts into words like her, I too kind of feel the same way. Most of our relatives are very very religious but have no clue what Jesus, grace or faith means to us, and have a notion about us that we are deceived in our spiritual life by removing ourselves from the traditional family religions (Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy). It wouldn't surprise me if they even blame our leaving from the church is the cause of our troubles.

Do we need to save God's face from their accusations? We restrain our struggles from them in an effort to not to give them a chance to criticize our God and faith.

I told my wife, don't be afraid to be a fool. Don't be afraid to chock up and cry, if needed. We live by FAITH and faith is not faith if we know everything. Faith is not faith if we have answers for all our questions. When Bible says 'now we see but a poor reflection in a mirror', that's something to think about. It is this fact what underlines the significant principle of faith. The next statement says it, 'And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.' We need faith and hope now and here, but then, as we live with Him in eternity, the necessity of faith and hope are fulfilled and the greatest thing, love, reigns for ever.

Now, faith cannot be lively when we are rigid, insensitive and stagnant.

There is something farmers do before they cultivate any crops in the ground. They will till the ground by plowing and harrowing. Some use a tiller to disrupt the smooth ground and make it uneven, messy and irregular. My Dad used to own oxen and he used those animals to do the tilling in our farm. This was before today's industrialization.

The seed wouldn't grow well in a smooth rigid ground. The roots have to travel deep into the soil and for that the soil has to be vulnerable, sensitive and wounded. Only plowed soil can respond well to a growing seed.

The fear to be messy is rooted in my fleshly ambition to be "a good guy", "a perfect spiritual person" or more like a "religious showinist".

There is mess in our life here on earth whether we admit or not. It happens when our worldly securities are shaken and challenged. Then, faith comes in. Jesus talked about child like faith. A child would cry when he fall, but he will eventually stop as he is held tight. It is the faith what sanctions us to be in a muddle but at the same time allow our loving Father to held us tight until our whining silences.

I think it's okay to cry, to be vulnerable, to be confused, to have unanswered questions, to be an object of ridicule, to have faith which is hard to explain to others, to have hope which is meaningless to many, ... and if necessary, to be a fool to others.

as if God needed anything...

2008-11-25T14:01:00.010-05:00

I searched the internet and figured out the earth we live on weighs about 5.972 sextillion (1,000 trillion) metric tons. That’s 5,972,000,000,000,000, 000,000 tons.

It has a circumference of 24,901.55 miles and holding about 6.66 billion people.

Try to get your arms around those numbers.

The sun is about 93 million miles away from earth. While the earth is maintaining its perfect distance from sun (though it's orbiting the sun in an elliptical shape), its rotating in a constant speed (23 hours and 56 minutes and 04.09053 seconds) in its own axis as well. Among these numbers I want to throw one more, which kind of blew my mind away: The star that is closest to earth (after sun) is about 25 trillion miles away. Remember, there are countless number of stars including those which cannot be seen with naked human eyes.

In other words, we have no clue what is out there!

With the limited human intelligence this is what the scientists have figured out so far: the nebula (or the galaxy) containing an average of 100 billion (10¹¹) solar masses, ranging in diameter from 1,500 to 300,000 light-years.

[1 Light Year = 5878171478565.179 Miles]

Okay, okay, I wouldn't even try to do the math :)

This is just a little bit of information about the universe around us, but this puts me in profound veneration for the Being who created these and placed it in its own perfect places. I would stop and take a deep breath and try to sink this that the Most High created these with mere words in His mouth - 'let there be...'.

I can’t imagine the vastness, the unknowns, the infinity, the awesomeness of the universe. When I stand still and look up in the sky, I feel small. I fall into an unexplainable ecstasy and overwhelming reverence when I look at the diversity in His creation from the tiny shrubs in my backyard to the 5.972 sextillion metric tons 'mud-ball' hanging in nothingness.

Let’s say anything above the blue sky is part of heaven. This is what the Bible says:

'Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool.’ – God (Acts 7:49)

As a man with two legs on the ground at a time, I am not occupying more than a square feet of ground. Out of my foolish ignorance and arrogance, can I even think that God needs something from me, whose throne is heaven itself?

"However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says: " 'Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me? says the Lord. Or where will my resting place be? Has not my hand made all these things?' - Acts 7:48-50

What kind of a building can I possibly build to invite God to live in it?

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands.
And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else." - Apostle Paul (Acts 17:24-25)

Does it sound like a blow to prideful man who thinks God needs his money, service, skill, education, ministry or time?

God do not need us or our service, but here is the good news: He wants us! Yes, the same God who said 'Heaven is my throne and earth is my footstool' wants to have a relationship with us! Why would He leave His glory in heaven, come down to earth as a dirty carpenter, born in a manger in a tiny town called Bethlehem? So that we can relate to Him! Even the lowest of the lowly among us can relate to Him.

Apostle Paul continues in Acts 17,

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.
God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

That is what God wants from us - that we would seek Him and find Him and to be His offspring! And live in Him, move in Him and have our being in Him!

STOP trying to serve Him; just be in Him! That's enough! He will do the rest... Just be His precious child. Stand still and know that He is God. Rest in Him. Relax...

(Happy holidays to all. We are off to New York for few days to visit family and friends...)

Sharing the message

2008-11-17T09:41:00.004-05:00

Should we enforce behavior change? Should we enforce morality? Should we condemn their sins BEFORE we tell them that they are forgiven by the death of Jesus on the cross? Should we become a political power (vote bank) to enforce morality in the world? Should we march against abortionists and gays in order to tell them that God loves sinners?

I think evangelism (or sharing gospel or sharing the love of Jesus) is more than instructing people 'how to escape hell'. One of the biggest hindrance a person can have to come to a point where he realizes he need need Jesus, is his pride. And God opposes the proud. Trying to scare those people with the idea of hell (or rejection by God) or condemning them by their behavior wouldn't necessarily humble them and bring them to a point that they are ready to give up all their efforts/beliefs/unbelief and surrender to Jesus.

People are very skeptical in nature and reluctant to give up something they believe or not believe in order to come to faith in Jesus. So, the question is should we use scare tactics or some kind of emotional force or judgment of their behavior or rebuking of their immorality to shake their heart and bring them to Christ?

Amy over her blog made an excellent statement about this:

When you decide it is your job to force others into truth, you prove by doing so that you think too highly of yourself and too lowly of the Truth.

In other words, when we are forcing people to buy the message we are trying to sell, we are being skeptical about the power of the message itself, the power of Truth. So, we put our efforts to make it happen and most likely we end up using scare tactics, emotional manipulation or even threatening voice because we do not believe in the power of love in the first place.

I am yet to see a life genuinely transformed (inside-out) through fear, but I have seen and experienced unbelievable transformations in people's lives through the power of love. Love never fails!

The other day I came across on a verse in the book of Romans:

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance? - Romans 2:4

It is when we tell people about the kindness, mercy, grace and love of God, they come to repentance. It's not the other way around, that we use scare tactics to get them to Christ. That usually offend them or probably shut them off. Remember, people are extremely prideful to give up something they always believed (For example: religion) or they never believed. Love humbles people whereas fear and manipulation put them in confusion.

We can consistently point people to the love of God displayed on the cross and that will eventually (as we are being consistent in showing them the love of God through Christ) humble them and ultimately bring them to Christ.

What changed the life of the woman caught in adultery? The judgment of the people who were going to stone her or the love and kindness of Jesus?

Conversation between God and the Legalist

2008-11-13T11:33:00.007-05:00

Legalist: Oh God of Abraham, Jacob and Issac, as part of being obedient to your word and commandment, I have decided to fast for the next three days. Bless my fasting. Give me strength to fight temptations of food and drink. I don’t want to be like those pagan Christians who never fast.

God: It sounds like you already know that fasting is going to be hard for you. So it’s better you not fast. I have blessed you with my salvation and will continue to bless you anyways.

Legalist: I am fasting so that I can be much closer to you like I was in the early days.

God: I am living in you.

Legalist: Yes, I mean… No, but that’s only a positional truth. I want your tangible presence.

God: I am living in you.

Legalist: Well, okay! But… I want to restore my fellowship with you which I lost when I sinned last week.

God: I will never leave you nor forsake you. You are my son.

Legalist: I promise you, I will restart my systematic Bible study from next week and I am fasting today so that I can rededicate myself to a more disciplined prayer life and devotion. I ask your forgiveness for not reading my Bible…

God: You are righteous in Christ. You are my beloved son. You are a saint!

Legalist: But,… I still sin… Pls. forgive me. I promise I will take up that nursery ministry at church. I have been feeling so guilty every time pastor brings that topic up.

God: Your sins (past, present and future) have been totally forgiven by the one and only sacrifice of Christ Jesus. Your only work is to believe.

Legalist: I am sorry for skipping the tithe check in the third week of January, 1982.

God: I have accepted you in Christ. I have loved you with perfect love. Nothing can separate you from my eternal love.

Legalist: But I am guilty for not tithing.

God: You have liberty in Christ. You are free from the law.

Legalist: I am sorry for skipping church. I broke Sabbath.

God: Your righteousness comes from Christ, apart from law. You are dead to the law. You cannot be declared righteous through obedience to the law. Law is for those who are under the law, you are free from the law for law makes nothing perfect.

Legalist: I kind of agree but I am sure you didn't mean '10 commandments' when you say law?

God: 2 Cor 3:7-11

Legalist: Pls. fill me with the Holy Spirit

God: My Spirit lives in you since the time you were born-again.

Legalist: Pls. bless me financially, so that I can buy a Cadillac. I promise I will not skip tithe again.

God: My grace is sufficient for you. You are blessed beyond measure in Christ. You may live the rest of the life discovering the treasures you have in Christ.

Legalist: I love you.

God: I have loved you while you were still a sinner.

Legalist: I have sowed the seed of $100 in ORM ministries, I stand on the promise you have given in your word and claim my return - "Give, and it will be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over..."

God: I have blessed you already with everything you need. You are a citizen in heaven, a part-taker of divine nature, child of the most High and seated with Christ in heaven.

Legalist: I am sorry for thinking bad thoughts against my pastor who is my spiritual authority, shepherd and priest.

God: I am the good Sheperd. You have an eternal High Priest in heaven. You are complete in Me.

Legalist: Bless my church for including me in the church-board, I will keep my commitment to work for the growth of our church to my best.

God: The work of the ministry is to believe in Me.

Legalist: I am recommitting my commitment to serve you. Bless me.

God: I have bestowed my great love on you, walk by faith in it. Rest in Me. Believe. Believe. Believe. Walk by FAITH. Know the TRUTH and be free. I am faithful to complete the work I have started in you.

Lagalist: I am feeling hungry due to fasting! Give me strength to stand firm in my commitment to my fasting and prayer today. I am confident I am not going to give up today. I can do this! Yes! Bless me. Bless me for doing this. Bless me! Forgive my sins! Restore my fellowship! Fill me with Holy spirit! Come closer! Come down! Look how I confessed my sins! Look how I marched against evil-doers! Look how dedicated and committed I am! Look how I give my money! Look how devoted I am to my church and denomination! Look what I am doing for you! Look how I stood for Republican party! Look how pro-life am I! Look how I hate sinners! Bless me!

God: ------------

Our hope!

2008-11-04T09:25:00.006-05:00

I see myself making this statement repeatedly these days while discussing politics, economy, religion, culture, climate or anything happening around the world in general: "This world is not getting better". I think anyone who is paying a minimum attention to the news media would have to agree that there is no such news as good news today.

We are not to be surprised by all these because the world system is not built on any constant. Anything relative would be drastically changing over the time based on people's views, opinions and beliefs.

Any experiments in Mathematics and Science would start from a constant. Without a constant, an experiment is not an experiment or it can never produce any verifiable results. The world is going contrary to this basic idea that it would try any experiment without the surety of a constant and guess what the result would be - a complete disaster. This is true for both the world system in general and for the individual lives as well.

The issue is, any house built on sand wouldn't survive a storm.

I am glad I have a constant - Jesus! My life is being built on that constant. This is not to say that there aren't any inconsistencies in my day to day life, but apart from my confusion, doubt or skepticism, Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. And that is my absolute hope of success in this experiment of life.

I am glad my faith is not based on me (my ability, integrity or strength), myth, story, feel good philosophy or any man-made 'ism's but based on a real, historic, proven-by-facts PERSON, who has defeated death and proved His unchanging, unfailing and unending love towards us. And I know my hope is not a mere 'positive thinking' or 'wishing for the best', but my hope is anchored in Truth and since truth never changes, my hope never changes. My perspective about my hope may change, but the hope itself never changes, because it's a done deal.

" The rain came down [economy failed? politicians failed? climate failed? employer failed?], the streams rose [lost job? lost home? met with an accident? fell into debt?], and the winds blew and beat against that house[dropped out of school? fell sick? lost loved ones? spouse left?]; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock [Jesus]." (Matthew 7:25)

"Buddy god"?

2008-10-29T20:00:00.002-04:00

You are promoting an "Easy believism", a "buddy god" or a "teddy bear god". This is the perversion of our ancient Christian doctrines, teachings and traditions. This is blasphemy! Are you saying that we just simply need to 'believe' and everything is hunky-dory?

Have you ever heard this before? If not, you will most likely face this question at least once in your lifetime.

My quick answer to this question would be something like this: well, it's better than promoting an angry, wrathful, sadistic, ready-to-whack, fire-spitting, terrorizing God and scare people away from Him!

I am not sure why people think that believing is so easy. It has never been easy for me. I tried to find the counterfeit for belief through religion for many many years. It took so many years for me to come to a place where I realized that I need to give up all my self-efforts to please God through any other means other than believing in His provision of free righteousness.

Adam & Eve failed to believe. Abraham failed to believe. Moses failed to believe. Israelites failed to believe. So why do we think believing is so easy? It's the hardest thing on the face of the earth, but at the same time it's the simplest thing on the face of the earth! Don't ask me why. It's just the way it is. Humans always find it easy to do and earn than to believe and trust. But that doesn't mean that there is an alternative to believing or should we add some of our works to it.

Do we need BIG faith to believe?

Jesus said, 'faith in the size of a mustard seed' would do wonders. What matters is the sincerity of the heart. Jesus said, 'unless you become like these little children...' It's a ruthless trust (as Brennan Manning calls it). Trusting God without apology. Sometimes, I even get scared of seeing the kind of trust my children put on me. It's a sincere, honest, merciless trust - indicating "no matter what as long as it's my Dad, I am going to jump into his hands."

Do they trust me because I am their 'buddy Dad'? Or do they trust me because they know that I am trustworthy and faithful?

Isn't that knowing what gives us the unbelievable, supernatural ability to trust God for who He is? It comes from an understanding of His love for us. We can't muster up faith. It's the love what produces faith, not the other way around.

Yes, we love Him because He is trustworthy and His love displayed on the cross has proved it. We don't love him because he is a 'buddy god' or 'puppet god' or a provider of 'cheap greasy grace'.

He is the God of the universe, who created everything seen and unseen, including the things which we can't even comprehend with our finite mind, by the word of His mouth. But while being such a powerful God, He sent His one and only son Jesus to die on our behalf so that our true humanity can be restored; and displayed the utmost act of love ever been revealed in the history of the planet earth. So, BELIEVE HIM, He is trustworthy, faithful and His love NEVER fails!

The ABC’s of salvation

2008-10-23T14:28:00.005-04:00

Next to the main entrance of the church we attended few years ago, there was a table and a stack of fliers on it. It was a one page printout titled ‘ABC’s of salvation’, and below the title, the subsequent lines explained what it means.

A – Accept
B – Believe
C – Confess

To elaborate,

A – Accept you are a sinner.
B – Believe in Jesus.
C – Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord.

Do these three steps – You are saved!

Wow!

There were references to bible verses with each step. When I first saw it, I was fascinated by the simplicity of the salvation formula derived from a big book like Bible. I took one copy for myself thinking that I might use this formula to get others saved. I had never seen it simplified like this before. The reason I was fascinated, that my finite brain is always inclined to the ideologies listed as bullet points. It’s easy to read, grasp, teach and share. Also I like the exact ‘science’ of anything.

Now, here is the question I want to pose:

What are the things you need to believe or do in order to fall in love with a girl?

Here is my answer,

1. Get to know her
2. ---------
3. ---------

Hmm… There is no exact science! I don’t know how to put it into bullet points! Love is not a set of statements defined on a piece of paper. There are things which cannot be explained, there are things which cannot be put into words. There are no step 1, 2, 3…There are no schools on the face of the earth who can teach me the science of falling in love.

Isn’t it amazing that we shortened the 66 books of the Bible into few bullet points hoping that we are summarizing it exactly? Has Jesus ever given us a formula? Has the Apostles?

Isn’t salvation nothing but falling in love with Jesus? And isn’t it true that the way I fall in love is NOT the way you fall in love?

How come we reduced this amazing love of God into a step by step process?

1. Listen to a sermon
2. Respond to the altar call
3. Repent of your sins
4. Invite Jesus into heart
5. Pray Sinner's prayer
6. Fill out the decision card
7. Join a church
8. Get baptized in their water by their pastor
9. Seek the gift of tongues (if you are a Charismatic)
10. Submit to the authority of your pastor and believe and do everything he says until your last breath.

What if the salvation is none of these? What if salvation is simply accepting a gift of love from the creator of the universe? What if Bible is not a book of ideologies, but a love letter?

Yes, I admit I am tempted to make everything into an exact science. But that's because I am dumb! Let ever my dumbness negate the essence and beauty of the love of Jesus!

When I itemize the steps for getting saved and staying saved, I am missing the whole point – the whole point of love. It might make my evangelism easier. It might help me to succeed in my Systematic Theology class. But what is the point if I am missing the love? What ideology can truly transform a heart other than genuine love?

I find it increasingly difficult to explain love, grace, faith, hope etc. People look for formulaic answers, but I just don't have it. I mean, I might just say - "I know Jesus loves you; and I hope you will come to know this truth." Is it over-simplified? I don't know!

Believing IS obeying.

2008-10-20T08:11:00.008-04:00

"What about obedience?" A question I hear frequently from those who (at least) partially opposing the message of grace. They usually pick a list of sins or a list of commandments from either OT or NT, and pose the question: shouldn't we abstain from these sins? shouldn't we do these things God has commanded us?

All throughout the Bible, starting from the garden of Eden, the consequences people suffered due to sin or disobedience was a direct result of unbelief. In other words, in all cases, the punishment is always directed towards unbelief.

Hebrews chapter 3 makes this abundantly clear. Talking about the Israelites,

Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the desert? And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief. - Hebrews 3:15-19

It's clear that those who disobeyed were those who disbelieved.

God's anger was toward those who sinned (the verse says). What kind of sin is He talking about? Is it the making of idols? Is it the rebellion against Moses? Is it the grudging toward God? Is it their demand that they want to go back to Egypt?

Why was He angry for forty years?

'Because of their unbelief'. They failed to believe His promise. If there was any disobedience, it was a direct result of their unbelief in God's promise. And God's judgment is always toward unbelief, because unbelief is the root of any sin.

When I stop believing God to supply all my needs, I might be tempted to steal. I might even steal.

For any disease, it's highly critical that we diagnose and treat the root cause. Treating the symptoms is not enough. So in case of stealing, should we treat the disease of stealing? Or should we treat the disease of unbelief?

All throughout the years, decades and centuries, the church is trying to treat the symptoms, not the disease. So they have all these temporary pain relievers and fever reducers in the form of self discipline, accountability, principles, values, traditions etc. They know it is temporary, but they still keep on prescribing the same thing again and again. None of these 'Tylenols' and 'Mortins' can never ever go deeper beneath the skin to the heart and fix the heart of unbelief.

Believing is a choice and when we are believing, we are indeed obeying.

Depression, worry and fear are some natural consequences resulting from an unbelieving heart. We can either believe God, in a moment by moment basis, which is nothing but walking by the Spirit or we can choose to walk by the flesh.

Major Ian Thomas, in his book titled, 'The indwelling life of Christ', says about this,

"If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit" (Galatians 5:25), and this is what it means to walk in the Holy Spirit: to take one step at a time, and for every new situation into which every new step takes you, no matter what it may be, to hear Christ saying to your heart, "I AM", then to look up into His face by faith and say, "You are! That is all I need to know, Lord, and thank You, for You are never less than adequate."

Friends, Gods, and Devils

2008-10-15T20:09:00.006-04:00

I am currently reading the story of C.S Lewis in a book titled 'The man behind Narnia', which I took from the youth section of our city library. I like books from the youth section, especially biographies, since it has large prints and it's much readable. It's not that I have eye sight issues, it's just the ease in reading large prints.

I have admired C.S Lewis in a great respect as a scholarly writer and Christian apologist. His genius and intellect is highly commendable. But what surprised me in this book was the other side of the story - his struggles as a young child, early death of his father and mother, the fear, confusion and loneliness he endured as a young adult, the eccentricity he showed while being a Professor in Oxford and Cambridge, his late marriage with an American woman who held anti-american views, her suffering with cancer etc. Many of his early writings were rejected by publishers. It also surprised me the little things such a wardrobe and the ordinary people such as a gardener who have influenced him to write many of his books later in his life.

In this book, there is a chapter called 'Friends, Gods, and Devils' where the author discusses about the friend circle and the community Lewis was part of, while living and teaching in Oxford. He says,

They [Lewis and his friends] met on Thursday evenings, with no formal agenda or minutes of officers, but a common determination to share their writing and thoughts.

"Is there any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a fire?" wrote Lewis. "The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are".

They usually met in Lewis's rooms, with food such as ham and cheese on the table and always a pot of very strong tea brewed by Warnie (Lewis's brother).

The chapter later says, they also met before lunch at the beginning of the week in an Oxford Pub called The Eagle and Child. It says, there was outpouring of wit, nonsense, whimsy, dialectical swordplay.

Lewis once said:

Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, "sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends." I know I am fortunate in that respect. - The letters of C.S Lewis to Arthur Greeves

I get excited by reading about this kind of communities where people meet with no formal agenda or minutes of officers. Wow! What a great way of having fellowship with like minded believers? I agree with Lewis, "Is there any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a fire?"

Somewhere along the line we lost it. We introduced agendas, minutes and officers and focused on it/them rather than focusing on the people and what what God is doing in their lives. We lost the sweetness of friendships, the casual encounters with people, the warmth of hospitality, the exchange of real issues with real people. We reduced such great fellowships to the unauthentic pulpit-pew system where there is no room for any exchange. We isolated ourselves from others in order to earn and achieve our selfish dreams and we said goodbye to the biblical model of casual but authentic assembling of believers and embraced the element of anonymity in mega churches.

I am wondering if there are still those endangered breeds of Christians who are willing to meet with others without the pressure of agendas, minutes and officers? And probably come together as they are and exchange their hearts in love?

Health and Fitness.

2008-10-14T16:10:00.002-04:00

I workout in the gym near to my office. There you see some people running in the treadmill as if they are angry at their own body. Then there are some ladies who walk in the treadmill in 1 mile/hour speed, even slower than their normal walk, all the time reading Cosmopolitan, People and other similar magazines. The other day the lady next to my treadmill was reading “10 crazy things you can do to improve your sex life” and commenting about it to the lady other side, who is also walking in ‘negative’ speed. In the locker room, men walk around naked. I am afraid some of them are gays! But overall, I like the gym, it gives me a sense of fitness after each workout. I started out in August with a high intensity workout thinking that I could lose 5 pounds in one day. Eventually (in few days!), I learned to agree with the reality that the pounds I have gained in past many years is not that easy to shed off. But more than the weight lose, it gives me a healthy feeling which is worth the pain.

The other day I told my wife that the reason I work out is to sweat, which is a ‘commandment’ of God. God told Adam: "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food". My job is working on the computer and no matter how aggressive I type on the keyboard or move my mouse I wouldn’t sweat. So I take a break and go to gym, do some workout to sweat. She thought I was crazy.

I remember reading a book called Maker’s Diet, written by Jordan Rubin. This book was highly promoted by TBN and during those days my wife and I were huge TBN addicts. We watched TBN as if it was a ‘holy’ thing to do. We ended up buying this book and read it eagerly. In the book, the author tries to extract eating principles from Bible and provide a diet plan for everybody to follow. For example, in the Book of Leviticus God gives the dietary laws and said not to eat shell fish. So as per Jordan, it’s better not to eat shell fish such as Shrimp etc. He is not promoting it as a legalistic thing, but as a good thing for health.

We both stopped eating shell fish, pork and inorganic meat and poultry; and started buying organic milk, yogurt, fruits etc. Our grocery bill went through the roof. Since John the Baptist ate wild honey, we too bought raw, unprocessed honey from health store. Bread without yeast, and everything organic etc are few other suggestions by the author.

Later on, we have come to a realization that unless we grow everything in our own farm, we can't afford these. We eventually gave up and returned to 'normalcy' (Well, I don't know what is normalcy). By the way, I felt so good while following this diet but it was very expensive. I am left with no other option than eating all the processed, chemically modified junk food, because that's cheap.

My ideal place to live is a farm. And grow everything we need there including vegetables, fruits, birds and animals. Running in the open air would be a great, refreshing workout. Riding a horse through the unpaved farm trails would be adventurous. I love the sound of crickets in the night. I am naturally drawn to earth, it's smell and it's beauty and wildness. I am looking forward for that day to come...

Happy B'day, Matthew!!!

2008-10-14T06:00:00.006-04:00

Happy B'day to my dear brother Matthew!!!

Community, love and other things

2008-10-07T13:33:00.006-04:00

Well, again I am going back and forth on the issue of community here. I do not believe God intended people to live a disconnected life. God Himself is an interconnected Being – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He gave Adam a companion – Eve. He invented and established the concepts of marriage, family, community, and ecclesia.

Jesus came, gathered 12 people, taught them and lived with them. He could gather more than 10,000 people at one time without fliers, banners, television commercials, internet and email. It was easy in a close-knit community to publicize through the word of mouth.

In Acts, people gathered regularly in homes, prayed, sang, encouraged and ate together. They shared everything they had with everyone.

The local churches in NT - Corinthians, Romans, Ephesians etc represents a symbol of the global (universal) church of Jesus, shows us how we (members of the body of Christ) ought to serve one another. Again, you see community here.

People had a higher degree of dependability on God. When there wasn't rain for their crops, they cried out to God. When there was sickness or emergency, they prayed. Today we call 911. And who cares about rain today? I have city supplied water coming in my kitchen when I turn the knob. I get grocery in Walmart super center.

There was confessing of sins to each other. There was 'speaking to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.'

All the believers were together and had everything in common.

Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.

They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.

And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2)

They were poor, but still rich. They didn't have much stuff like we do, but still contented. Because it was about equality - Exodus 16:18 (2 Cor 8:15).

All the believers were one in heart and mind.

No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all.

There were no needy persons among them.

For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. (Acts 4)

We have 'grown' way too far that the above mentioned are a bunch of 'stupid ideas' with no practicality today. We have made ourselves so much 'sophisticated' that today we do not even know who lives next door to us. We have isolated ourselves into nuclear homes and thereby abandoned the God-given abilities to love, share, listen, support, encourage and console.

"I am too busy I have no time." This is a shitty thing.

While we are busy measuring our success by possessions, money and power, we doom into the 'normalcy' of this world's seducing materialism. Jesus was a radical, but yet an ordinary person people could relate to. He was radical not because we was rich, he was a radical because he was poor.

I will stop here because I am no different than any other ignorants. I can only sit in the comfort of my living room and shed a few drops of tears when I see on the television screen the heart wrenching suffering of people around me who are desperately in need of love, care and affection. How pathetic?

Money talk

2008-10-03T13:46:00.004-04:00

I get a minimum of one ‘pre-approved’ credit card offer every day in the mail, varies from 0% interest for 1 year to no interest on balance transfers for 18 months, including free vacation, free sky miles, free hotel etc. There was a time in my life when I wanted to fill my wallet with all the major credit cards. Guess what? When the credit card bill exceeded 10,000 dollars and no matter how much I paid every month everything went to interest only, I started rethinking the whole thing. After consolidating all the debt into one card, I dumped all my credit cards except just one. I think there is certain level of deception involved in these credit card, mortgage and loan offers many lending companies extend to people. The recent suffering in the economic system shows us that many people were in fact fell for it and were deceived. Many of them took loans they couldn’t afford paying, ended up giving it up for bankruptcy or foreclosure.

I read an interesting article today, called God Want You to Get That Mortgage? .

While my heart goes out to those who are trapped in the deception of lending companies, I think, at the same time, there are many who did not use their brain to make intelligent decisions. I was one of them and I am still suffering the consequences, still unsure of when I would be able to pay my debts.

I once heard a pastor telling the congregation - imagine the 4 bedroom home you have been desiring in your mind, dream about it all the time; imagine the Cadillac you always wanted, go for an imaginary ride in it; he made it a bit more funny when he said: practice washing your imaginary Cadillac in your driveway. He said he himself does practice such. And as you practice more of these, all these dreams will eventually come true. I think many people took his word to heart. When that impressive loan offer came in the mail, they thought it was God opening a way to make their dreams come to reality. [I am well aware that there are many genuine cases of losing job etc, but that's not my point here]

I believe in prosperity in the sense that God can and will provide for the needs of His children which includes physical, emotional but most importantly spiritual. Speaking about physical things, I have more than what I need today, except that Cadillac, of course! Now, should I sit here and think that I am some way inferior to the person who owns a Cadillac? Or should I even wonder that I have less faith than him? Absolutely not! In fact, it's ridiculous to think that way. But, unfortunately this is exactly what many people, who are following a line of prosperity think and believe. It's a grieving thing. [I don't even know how we got the name 'prosperity gospel', the only gospel Paul preached was the gospel which revealed the righteousness of God (Rom 1:16-17), which has nothing to do with material prosperity]

Matthew 6:19-21 makes much sense when we read it along with the understanding of our eternal inheritance in Christ and the citizenship we have in heaven. Every single promises in the Bible has some element of eternal value to it unlike the temporal promises of money and earthly treasures many preach today.

I am against today's prosperity preaching because it can only cause people to lose their eternal perspective and compromise it for the temporal pleasures of this soon passing world. I can only feel sorry for a person who thinks God has promised a supreme, glamorous and perfect life in this world. He hasn't, instead he encourages us to 'seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.' (Col 3:1). If we are preoccupied with divine money transfers and 5 bed room homes, how is it possible that we could 'seek those things which are above'?

A friend of mine once shared the story of a family who bought a remarkably big home and how they explained the motive for their purchase. In their own words: "we want to show off the blessings God has given to us, we want to make sure that we live what we preach". I don't know if you can see the problem here, but I am not able to digest this kind of thinking. In Bible, Jesus encourages those who have more, to share with those who have less; he never told us to show off! What if those who live in the streets of Calcutta start comparing their material blessings with some one living in a posh community in the west? Does God has double standard? Would it be fair to think that one of his children living in the street is inferior to another one of his children living in a mansion? What kind of a justice is that? I mean, do we even believe in a just God, today?

My Office

2008-09-30T11:33:00.003-04:00

I work in the 14th floor of a 20 story building, so I use elevator at least 4-5 times a day including my trip to gym during lunch time. It’s a nice elevator with steel plating on the walls separated by tiny pieces of mirrors. If I am alone in it, I spend my few seconds looking in the mirror. I feel safe and kinky, make ugly faces, smile and grin. Sometimes I look up in the mirror on the ceiling and see how the top of my head is getting bald.

This elevator is only for level 12 through 20. For up to the 12th floor there is a separate one. So, this one is usually not that crowded. For the past one year, ever since I moved to this office, I had only two people (strangers) wished me ‘have a good day’ as I stepped out of the elevator at my floor. Most people keep staring on the floor until they reach their level. I do the same most of the time. Sometimes I take a peek at people without letting them know that I am looking at them, especially those who come with intense smell of perfume. Some smell make me want to puke, so I will hold my breath until they get out.

Most of the people are sad. Or may be they appear sad to me. Some of them are busy working attentively on the blackberries and storm out when the door opens, leaving a lot of shoe taps on the granite floor. I even want to tell them to slow down.

I was depressed for about two days last week. My wife’s friend and family lost their 8 months old baby girl. Those two days, I didn’t look at people, I didn’t look straight; I didn’t give people eye contact. I don’t know why. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. I was hurt for that family. I saw the child wrapped in cloths and placed in a tiny coffin. She looked beautiful. I looked at the Dad and Mom of that baby, but couldn’t keep my eyes on them for long. I had no consoling words for them but my wife told them that their baby is with God. I believe all babies goes to heaven when they die. They are innocent.

It made me wonder why people rush all the time as though if they slow down they would miss something important. I was comparatively slow last week, didn’t care who else was sharing the elevator with me, didn’t care if they looked at me. It made me wonder what hope we have apart from Christ Jesus and it hurt me to see people live hopeless life, some of them in a state of denial.

I drank more coffee and ate more food.

There are three safe havens for me in my office - an empty elevator, empty rest room and my cubicle. I love it when there aren't anyone else in the restroom so that I can makes faces looking in the mirror.

My boss is a cool man. He keeps talking about flying radio controlled airplanes, which is his passion. He even fly real airplanes and showed me a picture of him flying a single engine Cessna. But he has no commercial pilot license. He wouldn't micromanage me at work unlike many of my ex-bosses. He shows me the software he uses to edit his home videos and teach me how to use it. He can keep on talking about movies in which I have no interest in. But I put up a face as though I am interested. But it's difficult to do it for long time.

There are more than 10 different flavors of coffee in the kitchen. Some of the people in our office looks restless and I doubt if it's due to excessive coffee drinking. I listen to Dr. Bob Marshal in a Christian radio station and according to him coffee is only good for doing enema. It's a cleansing liquid it seems. He says organic coffee can cleanse-out toxins from our body if used in enema; but drinking any coffee through mouth would make only negative effect. I still drink a minimum of 2 cups of coffee everyday.

Christ in you

2008-09-26T15:54:00.003-04:00

"To be in Christ that is redemption; but for Christ to be in you that is sanctification! To be in Christ that makes you fit for heaven; but for Christ to be in you that makes you fit for earth! To be in Christ that changes your destination; but for Christ to be in you that changes your destiny! The one makes heaven your home the other makes this world His workshop."
(Major W. Ian Thomas - The Saving Life of Christ. Zondervan Publishing 1972. pg. 19)

Some more "church" talk!

2008-09-23T15:20:00.005-04:00

It's interesting to see people spending a lot of time and energy to debate, discuss and figure out whether we should attend institutionalized churches or "house churches". How did a institutionalized church become institutionalized? Was it because it was in a special building? Or was it because people implemented their agendas, knowledge of half truths, ideas, personal preferences, rituals, falsehood etc? If so, how much it takes to have a "house church" institutionalized? It wouldn't take much. It's even easier because you have more 'control' there.

Some people all of a sudden get influenced by a "liberal demon" and jump from Presbyterian to Wynyard or Emergent and think that they are 'free' now. They aren't. The only difference is now they are thinking the Emergent church is "the" church or the Wynyard is "the" church (BTW, I have nothing against any of these organizations in particular). None of these are churches, there are merely some organizations. And yes, there are people under those roofs who are truly part of the invisible, universal, ever growing church of Jesus Christ.

None of these "movements" are going to resolve anything. Doesn't matter how frustrated you were when you were in the Baptist church and how "happy" you are in the Pentecostal church. The happiness we get when we jump from one building to another is not really the happiness God supplies. It is just the happiness coming from a sense of adventure, that you think that you are doing something "different" - like bungee jumping.

The REAL adventure is not jumping from one church to another. The real adventure is losing all our securities, which includes people-provided, church-provided, community-provided, clergy-provided and doctrine-provided securities and abandon ourselves into the hands of a perfectly loving God and hang in there, see what HE does in our life. That to me is adventurous.

The more we talk about "church", it shows how less we care about the "Head". The moment people come to know that I am a Christian, the next question is where do I go to church. Give me a break! My wife lies to people that we attend a non-denominational church just to avoid further questions. And I am teaching her to tell the truth! And she says she doesn't know how to give a proper answer why as Christians we do not park our bodies in a building on Sundays. I see her point because it isn't that easy to explain.

I want to stop jumping from one building to another building, because when I do it, all I am thinking is about the building. What can it offer to me? I am thinking about ME. I love ME! I love the fact that when I have flood in my basement there is a church member dispatched by the pastor to help me drain water. But now I am obliged to do the same thing when he has a flood. That's not selfless love. That's people working for each other. They are just not paying any monetary wages, instead they pay with their work. For doing the dispatching pastor gets his pay check. So, where is love in the whole deal?

Paul said: Love is not self-seeking.

I think love is not love if it's not selfless. That is the problem of building-bound spirituality, it is almost impossible to extend and receive selfless love while we are bombarded with building issues - how to maintain it, how to grow it, how to beatify it, how to make it more marketable etc.

I have criticized the 'building' I left but I think the issue was that I didn't really know the love of Christ the way I know it today (I am not claiming I know it fully, I will never know until I see him face to face). It was more of a intellectual understanding of that particular church's doctrines. I wasn't really free! It was my own struggle while I was still bound.

I thought moving the "worship" from that building to my home would change everything. It changes nothing! You move your bondage from a special building to a "house church" thinking that you are very trendy and adventurous, I am telling you it changes nothing. What changes us is the truth. The truth that Jesus loves us regardless of whether we are sleeping in the comfort of our bed on Sunday morning or we are sitting in a pew. It is the love what transforms us, not our changing of parking places.

As we get hold of this love, the "building" becomes a nonissue. The temptation to criticize all the "churches" subsides. Our focus changes. The source of our joy is no more depended on the beauty of the songs sung by the choir. And since it comes from the right source, it stays, it's consistent and we know it's priceless. No buildings can ever give us this, only Jesus can.

Genesis

2008-09-18T13:20:00.015-04:00

It was a book which greatly influenced me in my childhood (even today) with it’s unique story of creation then the rude sounding story of expelling Adam and Eve from the garden.

I have listened an hour long sermon a pastor preached trying to prove that 6 days of creation weren’t really 24 hrs days instead 1000 years days. All because somewhere in Bible it said 1000 years is like one day to God. Some people find it so difficult to believe that God really created the dry land in 24 hours. Using my limited common sense I thought that was ludicrous to think that way. If God took 1000 years for creating light (for example), what does it mean? Did he create a little light such as a candle light and waited 1000 years to get it evolved to sun and moon and stars? Or did he do a lot of research in his heavenly laboratory to figure out how he can produce light which will cover the entire earth? Or was he raising fund for this experiment? I thought he just SPOKE and it came into existence.

The way he created man was amazing. It was a unique creation. He didn’t just utter ‘Let there be a man’, but he was really involved in his creation. I had a picture of an artist with a long grayish hair and long beard, who is specialized in creating sculptures, bending down near to the sculpture's face and breathing his breath in to it through the nostrils. All of a sudden the sculpture became alive and started moving. His heart started beating, his skin became glossy, he can now think, see, taste, hear and talk. It’s pretty amazing, if we think.

My Mom always wanted us to read Bible from cover to cover and there were some special days such as the week of Easter, which is considered holier than any other week, she would insist us to take up our reading.

Then I would pick the only bible we had then and start reading loudly from Genesis chapter 1. As far as I can remember I had read it may be up to the sixth chapter then I will yawn and feel tired. I even thought, 'why am I reading this fairy tale?' I will look around to see if my Mom is there, if she isn’t then I will slowly close the Bible sneak out to play.

I thought God was rude not to let Adam and Eve eat from that one tree. He sounded even ruder when he said ‘when you eat of it you will surely die’. That wasn’t fair, I thought. But until few years ago, I didn’t even know that Adam didn’t really 'die' on the day he ate that fruit. It came to me as a huge revelation where I almost jumped out of joy. I read he lived 930 years and produced few children. A dead man cannot produce children!

So, did God lie? Did He say that they will die if they eat that fruit just to scare them? Was it to show them that He is capable enough to take their lives if He wants? Did he have a superiority complex?

Then the revelation hit my brain, a light bulb went on. He died spiritually! He didn't die physically or even mentally. It is very difficult for a mentally dead person to produce children! The element of godliness in his being left Him. He lost his wholeness and was broken. The spirit of God indwelled Him is no more indwelling him. It left an emptiness in Him. It opened the eyes of his flesh and he found that he was naked. He didn't feel close to God and he tried to hide. He felt unfulfilled and restless. He gained his knowledge of good and evil, declared his independence from God and lost (spiritual) LIFE. Wow! Now it makes sense why Jesus came to give us LIFE and He is called the 'second Adam'. Now it makes sense what it means to be 'born-again', being born from God and indwelled by his spirit. Now it makes sense why we feel so unfulfilled and restless until we find that life in God. Now it makes sense why we feel so empty even after gaining all the money, fame, glamor and power.

When ever I get a revelation from Bible, I get so excited that I feel that I will die if I don’t share it with someone. I hadn’t started blogging then (about 5 years ago). I hadn't even heard about such a thing. So I preach to my wife and she would try to conjure up her entire energy to listen to my long, boring, theological ramblings. Then she will yawn. Then I will feel sad and discouraged. (Now a days my preaching to her is not about Adam and Eve but about the difference between law and grace) These days she has learned to yawn while keeping her mouth closed. I wouldn’t even know if she really yawned until I see tears in her eyes. Now I am practicing it as it is very helpful while attending some meetings at work. I wish I had known this technique earlier while I was in the "church".

Recently when I got a chance to share some spiritual stuff with my Mom, the first thing I told was that Adam didn’t really physically die on that day and explained to her what it meant. It said, he became the father of a son in his own likeness, according to his image. If the Dad was dead, his son was also dead; and all of us, down to this century born dead spiritually into this world, helplessly fallen short of god's glory. No wonder why we don't have to teach people to sin, they will learn it by their own. The restoration, forgiveness and life Jesus offered makes much sense now.

There is sin, independence, deception, ungodliness, sacrifice, blood, covering, grace, law, punishment, death and pretty much everything scattered throughout Bible, are in the book of Genesis. Tear the book out and the entire Bible wouldn’t make any sense at all. Thank God, for using your servant Moses to write down this book for us!

The mixture.

2008-09-16T22:00:00.002-04:00

In God's economy, it is either hot or cold. You are either saved or lost. You are either under grace or under law. You are either under the old covenant or the new covenant. He don't deal with us in a lukewarm middle-ground where nothing is consistent. And I think it makes sense. He kind of made it clear in the message to the church in Laodicea - 'I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

The mixture is not good. Paul was irritated by galatianism, the mixture of law and grace, that he even called them 'foolish'. It's better that we are either be under the law or under the grace. Those who are trying fervently to live a righteous life under law will possibly realize their futility and come to the knowledge of grace one day. There is hope for them. But there is only a very little hope for those who mix it. They think they are under grace, but in reality they are not.

When we fall from grace, we are naturally falling into law. But to get to the mixture, there has to have a deliberate effort. Through the illustration of the New wine in the old wineskin , Jesus showed us this. If we pour the new wine into the old wineskin, the new wine will break the old hard wineskin as it continues to ferment and run out. Both, the wine and the wineskin are ruined and lost. Who want to tear a patch from a new garment and sew it on an old one? It will make both garments useless and ruined.

Do you want to hold onto the law? Hold on to it tight! Put your best of the best efforts to live it out. (And when you are tired trying to measure up, let me know, I will tell you about a GIFT). But don't try to sprinkle little bit of grace here and there. It will spoil both God's holy law and His awesome grace.

Again, please don't see this as a doctrinal hair splitting. The above mentioned error of mixture has produced enough organizational, institutional, business-like enterprises called 'churches', which are evidently hindering people from having a relationship with a loving God, who has exhibited His unconditional, and unfailing act of love and Grace upon the cross.

God-is-the-same argument

God is the same yesterday, today and forever, so how can you say that He has changed after Jesus's appearance?

Well, He HASN'T changed, but THINGS have changed!

My wife and I got married on December 28, 2002. One day before, which is December 27th, we couldn't express our intimacy beyond certain limits. But in 24 hours, we entered into a new relationship which gave us freedom for intimacy in a new level. Have I changed in 24 hours? NO! But THINGS have changed!

What if we still live in an unmarried mentality?

That's precisely what some Christians do today, they live in an unmarried mentality. They are not realizing the death and resurrection of Christ has changed THINGS. The same God who showed His presence in the holy of holies of an earthly tabernacle where only high priests were allowed to enter once in an year, torn that curtain down from the top to bottom, stepped out of His glory, came to us as a baby born in a manger, lived among us as a mere carpenter, died for us and trampled all the hindrances which kept us away from having an intimate relationship with Him, gloriously resurrected on the 3rd day and imparted His LIFE to us and placed us in Him and declared that we are His bride and nothing can separate us from His love; He lives IN Us today.

THINGS have really changed and now it's upto us to live in this new level of intimacy, love and togetherness instead of going back to the unmarried attitude.

How much more!

2008-09-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! - Matthew 7:11

He said to them, "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a man than a sheep! - Matthew 12:11-12

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! - Luke 12:24

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! - Luke 12:28

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! - Romans 5:9-10

For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! - Romans 5:15

For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. - Romans 5:17

If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! - 2 Corinthians 3:9

The blood of goats and bulls and the ashes of a heifer sprinkled on those who are ceremonially unclean sanctify them so that they are outwardly clean. How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God! - Hebrews 9:13-14

Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? - Heb 10:28-29

10 Commandments - The ministry of death

2008-09-10T09:08:00.005-04:00

...not only that, it is the ministry of condemnation as well.

I am not playing the safe game of 'balance' between law and grace here. Teaching that we are fully free from any form of law including 10 commandments is considered heretic and 'extreme' by a lot many Christians. They say it is only the ceremonial laws we are free from, not the 10 commandments. It's kind of funny when Christians themselves trying hard to prove Apostle Paul, who wrote the major part of NT, wrong! What we are not realizing is that when we make 10 commandments our sacred cow, we are in effect negating the work of Jesus on the cross.

The freedom from law and living under pure grace wasn't just an idea Paul came up with. In the Old Testament itself God gave us many typologies and even direct revelations (Jer 31:31-34) about the New Covenant and the righteousness apart from law, and how His mercy is going to triumph over the judgment which came from law.

Mercy triumphs over judgment! (James 2: 13)

The lid on the Ark of the Covenant in the OT was called the 'mercy seat'. There were three things in the Ark - Tablets of stone containing the Ten Commandments, Aaron's rod and a pot of manna. These three were covered by the Ark's cover called 'mercy seat'. It says that God's presence was between the two cherubims on the mercy seat, where the priests sprinkled the blood of the lamb. No one was allowed to look into the Ark, the tablets were kept hidden under the mercy seat. While God's presence dwelled on the mercy seat, He saw the the blood of the animals sprinkled on it, but NOT the tablets which are under the golden lid. The picture it shows is that God's mercy (blood of Jesus) triumphs over the judgment(Law).

It is also interesting to see the Hebrew word used for mercy seat (Kaporet) is same as the word for propitiation in NT, which literally means 'wipe out'. Jesus wiped out our sins for ever through His one sacrifice and kept the law hidden under His mercy, not only that he took the law (which was against us) away. I love the typologies in the Bible!

He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. - Colossians 2:13-14

Isn't it ridiculous that we still want to unnail the 10 commandments from the cross and hang on our walls? and give permission to the Devil (the accuser of the brethren) to accuse us using the same?

...the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone - 2 Cor 3:7

...the ministry that condemns men - 2 Cor 3:9

...for the letter kills - 2 Cor 3:5

We all know what was engraved in letters on stone. It's nothing but the 10 commandments. Let me make it clear, it was NOT the ceremonial laws what was engraved on the stones, it was the 10 commandments.

Why is the 10 commandments a ministry of death and condemnation?

It's quite simple: those two cold stones couldn't cleanse people from their sins, though it accused them. And that's exactly the purpose of the law was - to accuse us, to blame us, to condemns us, to take us to the end of our ropes, there by point us our desperate need for a savior.

Bible says, law is like a mirror which can show the dirt on our face, but couldn't make an ounce of difference to our condition (When we see dirt on our face, we don't use the mirror to wipe it, we use water). The law is perfect and holy, but it can't make us perfect and holy (But don't blame your mirror for showing you your true face. God found fault with the people - Heb 8:8). So, once law completes it's work in a person's life (pointing him/her to Christ), it has to be done away with and should get rid of it. Let's not give the Devil a tool to accuse us further.

We have better things to deal with today. We have God's mercy. We have a new spirit. We have a glorious New Covenant which brings righteousness. We have a ministry of the Spirit of which the glory lasts for ever unlike the Old Covenant which had a fading glory.

Moses had to hide his face with a veil, so that people wouldn't see the glory/radiance on his face was fading. He had to run back to the presence of God to get the radiance again. In Christ, the veil is taken away (2 Cor 3:9). So, today we don't have to shy away from God or from people, since our unveiled faces reflect God's everlasting glory and 'we are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit'.

Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. (2 Cor 3:16)

Let's stop reading Moses, start reading Jesus.

For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. -John 1:17. Look, Law was given (keeping a distance), but grace came, to accomplish something for us which we couldn't accomplish ourselves through the law.

'Benefits' of being in the institutional church.

2008-09-09T10:14:00.006-04:00

To be honest, there are some 'benefits' being in the institutional church for a while and then leave, so that today I can have little fun sharing my experiences with you.

I can share the torment, heart ache, judgment, foolishness, lifelessness and the double talk I went through with another soul today who is trapped in religion.
I can chuckle on some of the double standards I held.
Think and wonder how self-righteous I was.
How I tried to split the doctrinal hairs of many minor issues in the Bible, while I had everything wrong on the majors in the Bible.
Today I can share the stories with someone else (who can relate) how difficult it was to hide my true face with a smiley mask.
How desperately I wanted to sell ‘Jesus’ and evangelize the entire world but couldn’t get even a single soul to the magic level of 'sinner’s prayer'.
How I admired those with seminary degrees and PhD’s at the end of their names; and felt a bit envious about them seeing all the respect and admiration they get from people.
How reverent I was in the presence of people with a ‘Rev.’ in front of their names.
How faithful I was in my tithing that I felt so good, self-righteous and prideful after putting each check in the offering plate.
How difficult it was to welcome the old ex-prostitute who came to the door and how difficult was it to love her.
How heated the debate was do determine whether to let her participate in the Lord's supper since she wasn't baptized.
What a perfect devotion I had towards the ‘authority’ of the church and how submissive I was to them.
How wonderful I felt when they talked about the possibility of including me in the church board.
The privileges I enjoyed as being an 'official member' of the church and I even dreamed about the nice things people would tell about me during my funeral.
How wonderful the food was in the fellowship hours after the service and I always appreciated those ice creams and pizzas people brought for their children's birthdays.
How much sins I confessed during the endless alter calls Sunday after Sunday, and still wondered and worried if I were really forgiven, even saved.
How beautiful it was to memorize the fruits of the spirit and I find it even challenging to memorize it in the order it is written in Bible; but didn’t have a clue what it was like bearing those fruits in real life.
How enthusiastically I looked forward to each 'service' in order to get a boost to my spiritual energy.
How (righteously) angry I was at my wife for being late to dress up kids to go to church on Sunday mornings.
What a struggle it was to 'keep' my salvation and how much I searched internet to study how conditional the salvation was.
How desperately I wanted to pursue holiness and acceptance through - fasting, prayer, Bible study, charity, dedication, church work and service.
How much I admired faith healers and wished (secretly) if I could do the 'blowing' like them so that the entire people in the auditorium would fall like dead bodies.
How I wanted to show off the thick Bibles/concordances/study tools etc I owned.
How great I felt when the pastor once told that I pray very well and effectively after listening to one of my public prayers.
How much I looked forward for the mention of my name by the pastor from pulpit about the tireless services I did for the church.
How I felt so worthy when once pastor publicly praised me for giving a ride for a family who didn't have a car and lived far away.
How accurately I learned to define salvation as a step by step process starting from Romans 10:9
How angry I used to get at the slow old lady drivers while speeding to the church On Sunday mornings while blaming my wife all the way for being late.
How many times I have used the 'F' word (in my heart) at the sluggish drivers while driving to the 'House of the Lord'!
What a terrible fight my wife and I used to have during the 30 minutes drive to church; but after stepping into the building how cleverly we tried to appear as if we were the happiest couple in the world.
How wisely I thought it was my wife's job to take care of the kids during the service letting her husband to attend the service and gain all the insights from the preaching, which (I thought) she couldn't gain even if she attended!
What a dirty hypocrite was I! What a white washed tomb was I! How much I dragged the 'filthy rags' all along...

Aaah... Thank God for rescuing me from the unauthentic, hypocritical, self-righteous, unreal, dishonest lifestyle of a Pharisee... and humbling me and putting me back on the solid ground of your awesome grace where love and love alone reigns all the more. Hallelujah!

What a relief it is to be free from institutionalism!

The Unpardonable sin

2008-09-08T09:57:00.008-04:00

The below is something a sincere Christian student wrote, who is worried about the 'unpardonable sin':

"I would like to just know if what it says in Matthew is true. It states that every sin is forgivable, except if a person speaks badly about the Holy Spirit. I have attended a private Christian school and one day my Bible teacher was saying that a person is not forgiven if he/she speaks against the Holy Spirit. As he stated that… I thought something against the Holy Spirit. I did not mean to… it just happened. I prayed and asked forgiveness, but does that mean I am forgiven or eternally condemned? SINCERELY WORRIED"

It made me chuckle because I could relate.

There was a time in my pentecostal church life that I was worried about the unpardonable sin; but then later on, I figured out the unpardonable sin was nothing but speaking against Holy spirit and His gifts. I even thought all the baptists are doing 'unpardonable' sin as they speak against the gift of tongues, prophecy etc. I couldn't wait to see the baptists burning in the hell as the Pentecostals dancing in heaven. I even mentioned this 'revelation' to my pentecostal pastor and he agreed!

Yes, there is something called unpardonable sin; but the question is, what is it?

But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin. - Mark 3:29

It's important to see the verse following this:

He said this because they were saying, "He has an evil spirit." In another words, they did not believe Jesus for who He is (God), and Jesus called it an unpardonable sin. Which in fact IS an unpardonable sin!

The same incident was recorded by Mathew as well:

Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come. - Mathew 12:32

Here, it is important to see what the purpose of sending the Holy Spirit was:

But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and in regard to judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned. - John 16:7-11

The sin (singular) mentioned here is the sin of unbelief ('because men do not believe in me'). Holy Spirit convicts an unbeliever of their unbelief in Jesus and if they reject that conviction, it is a sin against Holy Spirit and it will not be forgiven in this age or in the age to come. The ONLY sin Holy Spirit ever going to convince people is the sin of unbelief.

As far as the believers are concerned, they have already repented of their unbelief and placed their faith in Christ Jesus and are free of any condemnation. Holy Spirit's job in a believer's life is to convince them of their righteousness in Christ ('He will guide you into all truth'). The truth of who we are in Christ.

There are no sin which is unpardonable other than the sin of unbelief, which has to be repented of. All other sins were judged on the body of Christ, has taken away from the eyes of God, never to see them again. Today, if somebody is condemning us due to our sins, it is either 'the accuser of the brethren' or one of his agents. Holy Spirit will never ever point us to our sins, instead He will always point us to Christ and His righteousness which is imputed to us.

Amen?

Shadow Vs. Reality (Re-post)

2008-09-05T09:38:00.012-04:00

Shadow (OT)	Reality (NT)
7th day physical Sabbath.	Everyday spiritual Sabbath.
Physical Circumcision - Circumcision of the flesh by hands	Spiritual Circumcision - Circumcision of the heart not by hands.
Passover Lamb.	Jesus the true passover lamb.
Blood on the door post keeping physical death away.	Blood of Jesus saving people from spiritual death.
Redemption of Israelites from Egypt by Moses.	Redemption of a sinner from the state of spiritual death through Jesus.
Walking in the wilderness for 40 years.	Christian living under the law.
Entering Canaan.	Entering God’s Grace.
Earthly tabernacle built by Israelites.	Heavenly Tabernacle not made by hands.
Curtain which separated the Most Holy place.	Body of Christ.
Human High priest in the Tabernacle.	Jesus the eternal High Priest.
Shedding the blood of animals.	Shedding the unblemished blood of Jesus.
Putting the sins of Israelites on the animal and performing the death penalty which covered the sins for one year.	Putting the sins of the entire world upon Jesus performing the death penalty which took away the sins of the entire world.
Human High priest entering the Holy of holies with blood of animals for his sins and the sins of the nation.	Jesus entering the true heavenly tabernacle with his own blood for the sins of the world forever.
Manna from heaven which satisfied physical hunger	True bread from heaven– Jesus who satisfies spiritual hunger.
Water from rocks which quenched physical thirst.	Real water which quenches the spiritual thirst from the rock of our salvation - Jesus.
Moses lifting the brass serpent.	Jesus lifted on the cross.
Physical lives saved of whom looked at the brass serpent.	Spiritual lives regenerated of whom looks upon Jesus lifted on the cross.
Ceremonial Washings.	Washing sins away by the blood of Christ.
Sin offering (animal) - People's sins being transferred to the body of the animal and judged.	Sin offering (Jesus) - World's sins being transferred to the body the perfect lamb of God and judged (once and for all).
Burnt offering (incense)- ascends as a sweet aroma to the Lord.	Burnt offering (Jesus) - Jesus's righteousness and worthiness becoming a sweet aroma to God (It is the same righteousness what is being transferred to us!)
Temporal and conditional covenant between God and Israelites	Eternal and unconditional Covenant between God and God's Son
Priesthood for Levites	Priesthood for all believers
High priest (human) - Temporal mediator between man and God who could never finish his work and sit down	High priest (Jesus) - Eternal mediator between man and God who finished His work and SAT down.
Law through Moses - Men trying to do what is impossible for them.	Grace through Jesus - God doing what is impossible for men.
Worship God in Temple	Worship God in Truth and Spirit.

Should we tell people the truth?

2008-09-03T14:02:00.004-04:00

.. or should we just love them without telling the truth?

I find it so hard (in my case) to just love people, all people. How about the people who flat out reject the Gospel of Jesus? How about the people who push their religious agenda on us?

I had fight with my parents because they hesitate to accept the offer of salvation by faith. They think their religion and good works can save them. And I am trying to tell them that they don't. They think I am deceived by some cunning Pastors, who only seek money. But I know I am not deceived. When they don't see my heart for them, I feel saddened and I find it so hard to love them. I don't want anything other than genuine love. If I am angry I prefer to show that anger, don't want to coverup my anger with a fake love makeup.

May be the problem is on my side. But I truly want others to see the foolishness, deception and cunningness of religion. It's not that I want to push my agenda. I have no agenda other than the fact that I want people to see the love of God portrayed through the death of Christ.

I think I am a failure in sharing Gospel with people in love. I just don't know how to do that without pointing the problem of their religious mindset. When I point the error, people get offended.

I ask them some tough questions, hoping to challenge their understanding of Jesus and His gospel. And then they think it's me who is being deceived by some New Agy doctrine.

I keep hearing about love, love, love. How do I tell people that the reason I am showing the error of their belief system is simply because I love them? Aren't anger, challenging questions, telling inconvenient truth etc part of love?

Show me one married couple who hasn't ever fought on anything.

Love cannot be always soft. Was Jesus soft on religious people? Was He politically correct? Was He diplomatic?

He loved people and He also told them the truth that 'Unless you believe on me, you will die in your sins'. There were many who were offended.

I don't want to send my parents/loved ones to hell by not telling them the truth in the name of love. In fact, If I truly love them, I better tell them the truth. That's what I think.

You might be thinking I am being unbalanced between love and truth. Well, love is not love without the truth. I might very well be unbalanced. If so, I find it hard to find that balance.

Law & Grace (Re-post)

2008-08-29T15:23:00.000-04:00

Under Law Man Says	Under Grace Christ Says
Look at what I'm doing for you!	Look at what I did for you!
Look at how I went to church.	Look at how I went to Calvary.
Look at how I was raised in my denomination.	Look at how I was raised from dead.
Look at how I gave my money.	Look at how I gave My life.
Look at how I confessed my sins.	Look at how I took away your sins.
Look at how I stood against sin.	Look at how I died for your sins.
Look at how I judged the lost world.	Look at how I saved the lost world.
Look at how I marched against evil-doers.	Look at how I suffered for evil-doers.
Look at how I bowed down to you.	Look at how I became one of you.
Look at how I healed the sick.	Look at how I raised the dead.
Look at how I spoke in tongues.	Look at how I spoke in love.
Look at how successful my life was.	Look at how successful My death was.

Source: Classic Christianity Conference Manual

Christian romantic tale and porn

2008-08-26T09:28:00.008-04:00

There was something Darrin Hufford said in his book 'God’s honest truth', it goes something like this:

What porn does to a man’s mind is same as what a romantic novel does to a woman’s heart.

Romance and porn are not real. They are fantasies people like to believe for a short period of time for their mental/emotional/physical gratification. They know it's not real, but they like to believe it is real for a moment, because it feels good.

Dictinary.com defines 'romance' like this:

1. a novel or other prose narrative depicting heroic or marvelous deeds, pageantry, romantic exploits, etc., usually in a historical or imaginary setting.
2. the colorful world, life, or conditions depicted in such tales.
3. a medieval narrative, originally one in verse and in some Romance dialect, treating of heroic, fantastic, or supernatural events, often in the form of allegory.
4. a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention.
5. a romantic spirit, sentiment, emotion, or desire.
6. romantic character or quality.
7. a romantic affair or experience; a love affair.

In both cases, whether it is porn or romantic novel/movie, when people dare to expect the fantasy to be real, in almost all cases, all we can expect is frustration, disillusionment and depression. Which can eventually destroy relationships.

When a woman approaches her marriage relationship expecting her man to be like the hero in the romantic novels she has read, she is most likely to be disappointed. That is true about a man who expects his woman to be like the girl in the porn.

I am saying all these not to shed light into the dark sides of the unreal expectations people hold on their relationships, but I am trying to link this to something I call 'Christian porn' or Christian romantic tale'.

The promises we proclaim from the sales pitch of pulpit about the advantages of being a Christian are mind blowing. The promises of sinless life, happiness, wellness, prosperity, and a worry-free life. Such promises are like the words I highlighted in the definition of romance: imaginary, colorful, heroic, fantastic, supernatural, baseless, made-up, full of exaggeration and fanciful. It is unrealistic, false and it is simply a lie.

Some of the promises people make to attract people to Christ:

You can achieve a state of sinless perfection
You will prosper in everything - finance, career, possessions, business
You will be free of all sicknesses, even if you fall sick, God will heal you miraculously
All your relationship problems will be solved
You can do everything through Christ (If you look at the context of this verse you will see a totally different meaning from how it is being used today)
You will have a perfect marriage
Your lust problem will be solved
You will be free of all addictions, and will be free from temptations
You will be in a state of continuous 'nirvana'
You will be transferred to a supernatural realm where you will float like the white clouds
You will not die
You will never be lonely
You will not lose your loved ones

The list goes on and on. I am not saying none of these are not possible by God, but that is NOT usually the case. Also, there aren't any such promises in the Bible. So, why don't we tell them the truth?

I doubt if there ever lived a Christian legend greater than Apostle Paul. Interestingly enough, while he was tirelessly proclaiming the Gospel, he pretty moved from one prison to another. It doesn't look like a perfect life to me. He suffered from sickness but God said, 'I won't heal your sickness'. He was troubled, distressed, felt the 'sentence of death', were under great pressure beyond his ability to endure (Read 2 Corinthians 1).

Why would he share these depressing things to us? Can't he tell something positive, encouraging, motivating and promising? (The things we like to hear)

This is what he says: 'We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia'

He chose to tell the truth. He didn't try to give us a nice, little package of false promises like many do today. He spoke truth in love. His point was, in the midst of all these problems, he is able to rejoice because he has a hope which is beyond the shortcoming of this world. Folks, we have trouble in this world, to think the contrary is to deceive ourselves.

Christian romantic tales may sound good to our itching ears, but it is not true.

A story made headlines recently about a mega motivational preacher's wife who had a fight with a flight attendant and was being sued. It surprised me to learn that the entire dispute started due to some water spill on the hand-rest of her seat in the flight. She was eventually deplaned and was fined by FAA. I wonder why she failed to apply her husband's well-received spiritual 'principles'? I, myself have heard him preach about 'always putting a smile on our face'. Why did she fail to apply that principle when she saw the spill on her seat?

Why are we giving people unrealistic expectations? Why don't we tell them that each one of us are capable of doing ANY sin under the sun, given the right circumstances? Which includes even murder and rape. Isn't that the very reason why we need Jesus? Isn't it our brokenness what keep us connected to Christ? If not, why would Paul say 'I will rejoice in my weakness'? Why would Paul receive the scandalous response of God, 'My grace is sufficient for you'? Why would Jesus say, 'you will have trouble in this world'? Wasn't Christ's mission to give us hope beyond this world?

I will close with this verse:

For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.- 2 Timothy 4:3-5

What are people searching for (on the net)?

2008-08-22T09:42:00.007-04:00

Using Google Analytics, it's kind of fun to find out the 'keywords/phrases' people use on search engines, which lead them to our blogs. Right from the beginning, since I started using this tool, to my surprise, there is one phrase which always landed on the top of the list consistently. It is: 'what god says about me'. It's all because I wrote a post titled 'what god says about me' in June, 2007 and that's the post where I get the most number of hits from search engines (The post has only Bible verses and intended for believers to know who they really are in Christ).

Isn't that interesting that people wants to know what God says about them? Though I don't know if the people who search are believers or unbelievers, but I thought it's interesting. People seems to be concerned about spiritual things that they are really seeking, searching and curious to know what God really think of them. On the net, the freedom of being anonymous gives people a chance to seek truth. I think it is like, people think God is hiding under 'google' and ready to give His opinions on them the moment they type it in! There were times in my life where I wanted to type in 'God, do you really love me?'.

But, I truly believe, internet is one of the crucial media where people can freely do some spiritual experiments. Some of it's plus points are - easiness, global availability, anytime availability, level of anonymity etc

For your entertainment, the below is the list of keywords/phrases used by people who visited my blog for a period of one month, with the most number of hits starting from the top:

what god says about me
branch of vine
branch of the vine
darin hufford blog
legalism for kids
one-anothering: a communal gospel
what god says to me
"approval addiction" part1
bob george" critic classic christianity
"fear of god" "eugene peterson"
"frank friedman" "the shack"
"god with us" + "self righteousness"
"paul anderson-walsh" cult
"wet my bed"
a w tozer " what is a christian" wierd
approval addict verses
baal religion
bible says nothing can seperate christ love from us
blogs "steve mcvey" "bob george"
brennan manning evangelism
can i separate myself from the love of christ,
can separate me from the love of christ",
children+lesson "separate us from the love of christ"
christian blog approval addiction
darin hufford the god's honest truth
do everything through christ
ephesians 7:8 tozer lavish
fear of god
fear of pee
forum "approval addiction"
gifts with i can do all things through christ
god says about me
grace life fellowship live feed + frank freedman
growing in grace ministries jeff vanvonderen
homeopathy
how to help legalistic children
i am the vine poster
i can do all things thru him
i'll let nothing separate me from the love of christ
is charismatism sin
is paul anderson walsh a phony
is steve mcvey genuine or fake
legalism facts kids
nothing can come between us and the love of christ
nothing can separate me from the love of christ, song
nothing can separate us from the love of christ
nothing can separate us from the love of christ paul
parable of the vine and the branches coloring sheet
paul anderson walsh grace youtube
picture vine and branch
post charismatism?
quotes from "messy spirituality"
relationship with christ
spurgeon on new covenant
teaching kids the vine and branches
the christan church + the religon of baal
the religion of baal
the shack bob george
the vine and the branch
tozer on religious ritual and traditions
tree vine branch
universalism mike williams
vine and branch
vine branch philosophy
what can separate us from the love of christ
what god says about us
what god says me
what shall separate us from the love of christ luther
wild at heart eldredge blogspot
william c young wastefulness of grace
william paul young testimony

Church talk

2008-08-22T08:55:00.005-04:00

I really don't have any encouraging words today. Over the last few days, I am kind of in the valley side of my spiritual energy. It isn't that any of my beliefs were challenged or anything like that but I am just saddened by the fact that the enormous number of people rejecting the plain truth of Gospel. It isn't the doctrinal differences I am talking about, but the heart and spirit of the core message of Gospel.

All I hear the most is nothing but the "church talk".

In the midst all the "church talk", it's interesting to see that how we skip over the "head". Apart from "head", there is no "body". People brainstorm: How can we save the church? How can we re-form it? How can we change it? How can we grow it? How can we serve it? How can we re-charge it? How can we revive it?

But, the body functions NOT within and of itself but it functions solely with a proper, dynamic attachment to the Head. The church today is like a chicken with head cut off. It makes a lot of motions and noises, but in reality it's dying. Is it enough to treat the symptoms by getting more people to serve, dedicate and commit? I think, when individual members get into the right connection to the head, through the wonder of TRUTH, the church would naturally become more vibrant, pulsing and free.

It's like a change to a society, which is possible only through changing individuals (one person at a time), so as with church, which is nothing but people. We talk about the 'body of Christ', but really, what value body has if it's not glued to it's head to receive LIFE? After all, Isn't church to be an expression of Life? Not the headless-chicken kind of life, but the real, authentic, hearty life.

We keep talking about serving, service and charity but honestly, I think, we can give only what we receive. Life of a branch is about receiving, everything else is quite natural.

Anyways, I am just wondering, in the midst of all the plans, programs, visions, ideas, techniques, funds, debates, busyness, denominations, theologies, doctrines, principles, are we missing the obvious? The simplicity and purity of Christ's wonderful, unchanging Gospel?

I am talking about the basics...

I am a bundle of paradoxes

2008-08-19T11:02:00.002-04:00

There’s a touch of vanity in even the holiest of men and women. They see no reason to deny it. And they know that reality bites back if it isn’t respected. When I get honest, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and I get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer. To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side, I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, “A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.” The gospel of grace nullifies our adulation of televangelists, charismatic superstars, and local church heroes. It obliterates the two-class citizenship theory operative in many American churches. For grace proclaims the awesome truth that all is gift. All that is good is ours, not by right, but by the sheer bounty of a gracious God. - Brennan Manning

Evolutionists, televangelists and legalists

2008-08-15T10:45:00.006-04:00

There are three categories of people I can’t associate myself with:

• The people who believe they were evolved from monkeys
• The televangelists who seek money
• The self-righteous (legalists)

That’s not the full list but these three comes on top. To be honest, I dream of a world without them. These people make me angry. I know I know I am not responding the right way, but I can’t help it. I just think they are foolish, doesn't matter how much skills, education and knowledge they possess.

Evolutionists

There was a time in my life when the teacher at my school showed me a series of pictures explaining how a monkey slowly transformed into a hairless, tailless creature and eventually became a full man (It’s interesting to note that the tail is fully gone today but the hair part not fully 'evolved' yet!). Those pictures showed only males. I am not sure about the women though, I think the assumption is women were evolved from female monkeys and men came from the male monkeys. But anyways, the next Sunday I would go to the Sunday school and there the teacher narrated a totally different story, that we were created by God out of mud. But the interesting thing is, though these two concepts were totally contradicting, I kind of believed both the accounts. I think I was dull and brainless. It seems like there was an unwritten rule that whatever comes from a 'printed media' is believable and unquestionable, especially those comes with the support of so called ‘science’.

About 5 years ago, I read a book called ‘Fearfully and wonderfully made’, written by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey. In the book the authors try to portrait a wonderful picture of the complexity and creativity found in human bodies. They went into the interesting details of four different components of human body: cells, bones, skin and motion. Dr. Brand was a missionary doctor, working among leprosy patients in the parts of India. In the book, the facts that were most fascinating to me were about the cells and the skin. The book also have the analogies between the biological and spiritual body, but that part I cared only less.

It was one of my sick days and I was alone at home. I had flu and could hardly sit up or stand. So I brought a comforter to the living room, spread it over, put two pillows on one end, lied down comfortably and started reading this book. When I came to a portion where it says how our body responds to a simple touch on our skin, it kind of blew me away. The 'touch' is such a simple, common thing to us but the things happening behind the scenes are just incredible. The number of cells (probably millions) involved in the action, and how they concentrate to the area where something touched our skin, the message it sends to the brain, brain responds and then we feel the ‘touch’. Feeling a simple touch on our skin itself is a way too complicated process, though it doesn’t appear that way. Dr. Brand worked among leprosy patients and one of the major symptoms of leprosy is that the patients lose their sensitivity to touch and their ability to feel pain on parts of their body. Apparently, even if you stick a knife to such parts of their body, they wouldn't feel the pain! No wonder these patients eventually lose parts of their body. The authors did an incredible job explaining how 'pain' itself is a gift of God - they call it gift of pain.

Not to mention the complexity of our eyes, brain and other organs. There were moments where I couldn’t get off the goose-bumps I was getting from all these. At times I had to get up, stand on my feet and raise my hands to praise the incomprehensible creativity of God. I was filled with awe and wonder. The interesting thing is that the book didn’t particularly talked about the love of God or any such sentimental sides, but still I couldn’t stop praising Him seeing how wonderfully he has created us. The book didn’t even argue against evolution or any of that thing, but on that day I completely, without a tiny bit of doubt, ruled out the foolishness of evolution and it never bothered me ever again. Today I call such 'sciences' foolishness because Bible does so: The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." - Psalm 14:1

Televangelists

Some of the televangelists make me laugh today, and some of them make me want to throw my remote control onto the TV screen and yell. I am talking about the sow-and-reap and Word of Faith breeds. I used to watch a lot of TBN during the days after I became a born-again Christian. I thought Paul Crouch was doing an incredible job through his ministry, reaching millions all around the world. But for some reason, the asking for money (sowing a seed), selling of miracle spring water and hand-kerchiefs etc didn't really resonate well with me. Also, I didn't like the fact the women who came on the screen wore at least 6 layers of make-up and some heavy jewelry and that kind of stuff. I thought something wasn't right.

During that time I used to listen the 'Bible answer man' broadcast on the radio. One of Hank Hanegraaff's books intrigued me and I went ahead and bought it. The book is called 'Christianity in Crisis', which was an end-product of Hank and his ministry's study and research into the secrets of some televangelists, exposing their faulty teachings. To be honest, that book really impacted me. That was the first time I was introduced to some Christian heresy and it made me depressed. As a person coming from a Orthodox background, I thought all born-agianers' were super nice and they believed and taught only biblical truth. I even wanted to give up Christianity when I came to know some of the so called famous Christian evangelists, their teachings, and the way they bend Bible, God and Jesus for their own financial gain. [BTW, I am not a big fan of Hank (based on where I am today in my understanding of God's grace and love) , but that one book really helped me to re-think religion]. I stopped watching all that crap on TBN. Today, if I am in a comedy mood or something, I do watch sometimes, and when I sense the feeling of depression by listening to them, I would change the channel to CNN and watch Larry King live or something like that.

Legalists

So that book 'Christianity in crisis' really gave me a kick-start of my journey out of the junkyard of religion. It was that time that I listened only to Christian radio and Christian music, ate only Christian sandwiches and drove Christian cars. One day I was on my way back to home from work and I heard a tail of 'People to People' broadcast on the christian radio station I was listening to, where this guy called Bob George speaking arrogantly against a caller who claimed that we are still under the obligations of the law, cutting the conversation out, talking against the Holy Law of God, asking people to quit church, and that kind of thing. At first, I was offended and wondered why this guy was still on the radio, that too on a Christian radio! Anyways, the next few days, I heard bits and pieces of his broadcast, and something in it hooked me up with it and I eventually changed my work time so that I could catch the entire 30 minutes broadcast on my way back home.

It could be my frustration towards religion what attracted me to that broadcast, the religion wasn't really working for me. I knew something was wrong but didn't know how to spell it out. You know, they keep preaching about the fruits of Holy Spirit and I even memorized those verses, but honestly, I had none of those fruits in my life. Anyways, I ended up buying Bob George's book called 'Classic Christianity'. I eagerly started reading it from the first page where he starts with a story in which he was crying in his car one day since there wasn't any joy in his life although he was so busy in his ministry. I was shocked and I thought to myself it was my own story. I used to cry in my minivan on my way to work, crying out to God to fill me with His peace and joy (especially on Mondays). I worked for God tirelessly on Sunday, but Monday I was empty, tired and dry.

That book shook my world. The first time I heard the words such as legalism, mixing of law and grace etc. It also introduced to me the truths of finished work of Christ, finality of the cross, total forgiveness in Christ, unconditional love of God, Grace of God, our identity in Christ and it simply started replacing the many errors I had subscribed to for so many years.

And today, I can hardly stand legalism and it's proponents...

Fear, pee and homeopathy.

2008-08-13T14:58:00.013-04:00

I used to wet my bed up until I was in 12th grade! I lived in a small countryside home surrounded by thick woods, it was as if living in the forest and there wasn't any bathrooms in side the home. So if I want to pee at night, I first need to grab the flash light from under my bed, go up to the main front door, open the door without waking up anybody else, step out into the thick darkness, walk about 100 ft to the bathroom which was detached and isolated from home. At night that bathroom looked like a ghost house. Because of the trees, the nights looked so thick and dark, to add to the effect there were so many crickets and other small creatures such as frogs etc made a lot of noise.

It wasn't uncommon at all to encounter poisonous snakes around the yard. [The home is in the middle of about 50 acres of land cultivating various trees/plants (cashew, coco, mango, papaya, banana, pineapple, coconut, coffee etc) and paddy fields]. We always used flash lights to go out at night, if not, we would possibly step on a snake. My Dad used to keep a big bamboo stick to kill the snakes [Sometimes he used the same stick on me and my brother as well, not to kill us but to discipline us]. He killed a minimum of 2-3 snakes every month. Sometimes the snakes even come inside the home and once I remember one of them got into my parent's bed, fortunately it didn't bite them. I used to see my Dad as a 'hero' because he wasn't scared of snakes at all. Some of our neighbors used to come and get him to kill snakes they find in their chicken houses. He wouldn't let me or my brother go near him as he try to kill the snake. Once he kill them he would call us to take a closer look at the dead snake. Most of them belonged to the cobra family. They weren't very big in size but highly poisonous.

As a kid, whenever I wanted to pee at night, I used to wake my Dad up and he used to accompany me to go out. I was scared of darkness, snakes, ghosts and all kind of night crawlers. I didn't believe in ghosts, but I was scared of them! By the time I was in high school I felt bad about waking my Dad each time I wanted to pee, but at the same time I was so scared to go out in the dark by myself, so I peed in my bed! It wasn't that I peed while asleep, but I peed knowingly!

My parents thought it was a 'disease'(obviously I didn't tell them that I was deliberately doing it). My Dad started looking for treating my 'illness' and found out there is some effective medicine for this in homeopathy. (There wasn't any website called www.stopbedwettingnow.com) He found a doctor (who is specialized in treating bed-wetting) 30 kilometers away from home and took me to consult him. I still remember my Dad's embarrassed face as he explained my 'problem' to the doctor, but the doctor didn't seem to bother much about the fact that I am in 12th grade and still wetting my bed. He prescribed medicine for 2 weeks and then I had to visit him every two weeks to give an update and collect the next course of medicine. Homeopathic medicines weren't available in pharmacies, the doctors themselves sold it in their clinics. I used to take two buses to go to that doctor every two weeks for many months. [The only 'vehicle' we owned was a bicycle, so we relied on public transportation to go to places. To catch a bus itself I had to travel 2-3 kilometers on my bike]

I can't remember when exactly I got over my fear of going out in the dark. It was around that time we built a new home (next to the old no-bathroom-inside-home) and there were two bathrooms inside. It was a big relief! When we built that new home we put a thick layer of pebbles around our home for two reasons: 1. it looked good. 2. it would scare the snakes away. When the snakes crawl onto the pebbles it makes noise and that scares them.

You might be wondering what am I getting at with all these. Well, honestly, nothing much! I tried to find a 'spiritual application' for this story but I really couldn't, so I thought I would just share this. The only one thing I can think of is the 'power' of fear. Fear made me to wet by bed deliberately. Fear didn't let me think outside of my own 'solutions', it literally paralyzed me. I am pretty sure if I took courage to explain to my parents what was really happening, it could have saved a lot of frustration, time, money and efforts. Look what fear can do...

What would you do (WWYD)?

2008-08-13T09:57:00.006-04:00

I like to raise a question. Imagine you have a very successful ministry (or church), which you have built up over the many years by tirelessly working for it with all your energy. You have gained a huge population of ‘followers’ through your books, websites, sermons, blogs, radio and television ministries. You literally have a cutting edge theology, doctrines, principles, worldviews and biblical frameworks. You have used some great sounding illustrations to explain your positions on theological matters and you believe with all your heart what you teach/preach/write is faultless. From the financial contributions of your ‘partners’, listeners and followers you built a world-class head quarters in one of the metro cities in U.S. You even have international coverage, and gained access to some of the highly unreachable areas around the world. You make a good living out of your ministry; your spouse resigned from his/her job and joined you to help you out in the work of the Lord. You have many of your relatives in the ministry’s payroll. There are multitudes out there sending money to your ministry accounts every month by partnering with you as ‘members’. Let’s say your ministry is now 5, 10 or 20 years old and you slowly began to understand the theology you embraced for years is not really standing against the scrutiny of the truth of the New Testament. Your understanding is challenged and shaken by some of the things God started to reveal to you from His Word (It all started from the darkest moment of your life where you wondered why some of your principles didn't really work in real life). You are in utter confusion, but God is not stopping there, he is continually, without apology, challenging your heart. You really started feeling the ‘double-edged sword’ going deep into your soul, God is removing the veil over your eyes, things becoming clearer and clearer every day in a fresh perspective. You are even wondering how you missed the obvious. You struggled with God and His Word, but can’t win, finally reaching a point where you either ignore the truths mindlessly and continue with the work of the ministry as if nothing happened OR you admit everything you have ever learned/taught was utterly wrong and make a 180 degree turn. You are standing on fire that without tearing off major parts of the Bible (Pauline Epistles, for example) you can't win.

What would you do?

On one side shame, ego, money, fame, people, buildings, books, CDs and on the other side truth...

I am not particularly asking YOU to answer the question but I was just thinking out loud what would people do in such situations. Can someone knowingly teach error? Can someone teach some 'principles' which don't even work in their own life, again and again? How much people can illogically double talk? How strong the 'tradition' can become, over the truth?

Some thoughts on blogging...

2008-08-08T08:50:00.008-04:00

"Dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt.
Sing like nobody's listening, live like it's heaven on earth." -- Mark Twain

I have heard this quote years ago but didn't know who wrote it, so I decided to google it today to find who the author is. According to Wikipedia, Mark Twain was an American humorist, satirist, lecturer and writer. But anyways, I am going to apologize to him and make a little modification to his above quote:

"Dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt.
Sing like nobody's listening, live like it's heaven on earth. Write like nobody is reading"

We, humans have an inherent desire to express ourselves and we do it by talking, speaking, writing and thinking. And it looks like Christians have a lot more to express due to the fact that their true humanity has been restored by the work of Christ. If we don't express, who will?

But I shy away from expressing myself naked (on an emotional level) when I know people are watching (reading). In other words, I would express myself better in a personal journal which I know for sure nobody (not even my wife!) is going to read (ever!). Why? I don't want my negatives to be known and noticed. But at the same time I like to read the honest, raw, expressing, shameless, outspoken writings. Only then I can relate to my own struggles.

A quote from Anne Lamot on writing:

"The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of the workshop is that good writing is about telling the truth"

If we can't tell the truth, it is better not to write. It is when a Christian comes and tells me that he struggles with atheism (at times), I can relate.

Bird by bird...

When I have a lot of things to say, I feel overwhelmed, and it kind of makes me immobilized unless I break it into little pieces and take piece by piece.

Another excerpt from Anne:

"Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at that time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write. [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"

Do you have a 'Testimony'?

2008-08-05T10:31:00.005-04:00

It was a December 31st, when the church conducted a special evening service to welcome the New Year. At the beginning of the service, pastor gave an opportunity to all the families to share their testimony about how God blessed them that year. The idea was, one person would represent one family and share the testimony of that family. As it proceeded in a random order, I am sitting there and listening to all the testimonies people share. All of them were about how God blessed them that year financially, physically and materially. People shared how they were healed of sickness, how God blessed them with a new home, new job etc. I started feeling nervous as I was realizing that I do not have a testimony like them, so I pushed my wife to do the sharing for our family but she hesitated.

It was the year God started showing me the truth of His grace and love, so on a spiritual level, I had a big testimony but I wasn’t sure if that is what was expected from me to share. Not even a single person in the entire congregation shared anything as how God blessed them spiritually, such as showing them some truth from His word, the blessing of being in a relationship with Christ etc. Finally the microphone came to me and all I could say was ‘this year God taught me a lot of things form His word and I am excited about what He is going to do in the coming year’. Needless to say, it didn’t make any applause; it didn’t make any ‘amens’. It was as if, who cares what God showed me from Bible? Do I have anything dramatic? Any supernatural healing? Any financial miracles? Any victory over sins? Any special anointing?

Though I didn’t have anything supernatural, I had good health, I had enough money, my family was in good shape and for all these I am always thankful, but I was more excited about something God was doing deep in my heart. He was showing me something that is so valuable than any materialistic things of the world. He was revealing the truth of His Gospel. He was teaching me that the Gospel is more than the changes it brings in our life such as good moral living, material blessings and good health.

Once I watched a testimony of a murderer on youtube. He murdered a husband and wife and went to jail. While in the jail, He got saved. His testimony was about an hour long and if you put that testimony into one sentence it would be something like this: ‘Before my salvation, I was this bad. Now, since I am saved, I am this good’. After listening to the testimony, I wished I was a murderer once. I wished I had a powerful testimony like him. I thought to myself, my testimony wasn’t worth sharing because it lacks dramatic, supernatural events which are required to move people’s heart. It is the criminals who get the chance to share their testimonies wherever they go. By the way, I have no doubt about the changes it brought to his life, but is that the point of gospel?

It is amazing that how people believe in a gospel of change. They all want to know how gospel changed our outward behavior and it is as if they believe that is the purpose of the gospel. And I agree that, it certainly is part of it, but is that the whole point? To me, gospel is more than how it helped me to stop drinking and smoking, more than what it does to my behavior. Gospel goes beneath the skin, it heals the root issue, more than the symptoms. It gives us a brand new identity in Christ. Like Joel said in his post, it is a gospel of exchange, not just a change.

Materialism has crept into the church. I think a majority of people goes to church not just for spiritual reasons, but for physical/material reason. How’s it going to help my kids to have proper discipline? How’s it going to help me to behave? How’s it going to give me a sense of security as being part of a community? How’s the sermons motivate me to live a morally right life? How's it going to teach me to control my finances? What blessing it can provide me on my health?
Isn’t that the reason churches conduct ‘marriage seminars’, ‘financial seminars’, ‘parents seminars’, 'leadership seminars', 'health and fitness seminars' etc? Everything they do is driven by externalism. They see themselves as a physical commodity and all they are concerned about is how nicely they can present it to the world. So when they come across a person who is ‘successful’ in his ministry, in his family life and in his finances or business, they immediately invite him to share his testimony or his secrets of success and probably don't even care how his relationship with Christ is. The message it conveys is, if you are not doing well in your education, money, leadership, health, career or relationships, you are not spiritual enough. After all, who cares about your relationship with Christ?

My testimony would probably go like this: 'Once I was so tired of trying to generate my own righteousness, but now God showed me how I can receive it as a gift. He made me a partaker of His divine nature and everything I will ever need comes with that'. It is as simple as that. Is it dramatic? Yes, but all the drama happened in my heart, not necessarily in my finances, health or earthly relationships. It isn't colorful enough to get any attention. This is not to say that, with the salvation, I now escaped from the problems of this world. I will have problems, but beyond all the problems I have hope and that hope is not based on my anything; it solely is based on Jesus and the relationship I have with Him.

Spiritual Dog Show

When I sit in the pew and watch a bunch of highly spiritual men sitting in the pulpit and the super spiritual among them spit out stuff like how accurately they can jump through the hoop, my feeling is like watching a dog show. As an unskilled, untrained dog, I too want to jump like them. It forces me to build my own high expectations on myself. I would run to the dog-school and eat highly nutritious dog-food and if possible find a dog-trainer. Quite sadly, it wouldn't take a long time to see me lying in the corner, tired and depressed.

God says we are spiritual beings more than physical beings, so He cares about our spirit more than anything else. He operates from a spiritual realm and He want us to see the things from His perspective. Unfortunately today's churches don't teach us this. Bible says, 'in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last'. When did it become a mere behavior modification system? When did it become about prosperity and bodily healing? When did it become a 'different gospel'?

Confused!

2008-08-04T11:07:00.004-04:00

Okay, My week-end wasn't that good (I lost some sleep on something). My theology was challenged!
I am still confused. Everything started from listening to one of the podcasts over at Free believers network. Here is the link to the podcast: What about sin?. Listen to it, if you would like. (I agreed to everything they said except one thing which really confused me) Here is my confusion:

I have always thought in my mind that Christ's sacrifice was to satisfy God (His anger on sin). And so it is called propitiation. From that, I get a picture of a perfectly just and rightfully angry God who couldn't leave sins unpunished, so He chose His own son to pour His wrath on.

But the verse which confuses me is this:

"Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you prepared for me; 6with burnt offerings and sin offerings you were not pleased. - Heb 10:5-6 (quote from Psalms)

Does this mean that God did not require or desire a sacrifice, but Christ's blood was offered to Devil? Bible also says, 'Christ offered himself as a ransom'; ransom to whom? Could this mean that Devil possessed the ownership of humanity (due to sin) and Christ offered His own blood to Satan in order to purchase us back from Him?

Sorry If I am not making sense. Though I believe in the unconditional love of God (in the light of gospel), back in my mind, I had a picture of a wrathful God. It came from Old Testament (sin offering, blood shedding, killings etc). I had always thought that God desired all those, but the picture Darrin gives is that God didn't require it but He was stopping the sin/devil. Darrin used (in the podcast) the illustration of a bear(sin) coming to attack us, Christ giving himself to the bear so that it won't attack us. He referred to the Narnia movie in His comments as well where the lion (Christ figure) gave Himself to the witch (represents Satan?).

Any thoughts? If I put my question into one statement, It would look something like this: Was the sacrifice of Jesus (or the sin offering in OT) to satisfy God's wrath?