'Benefits' of being in the institutional church.

To be honest, there are some 'benefits' being in the institutional church for a while and then leave, so that today I can have little fun sharing my experiences with you.

• I can share the torment, heart ache, judgment, foolishness, lifelessness and the double talk I went through with another soul today who is trapped in religion.
• I can chuckle on some of the double standards I held.
• Think and wonder how self-righteous I was.
• How I tried to split the doctrinal hairs of many minor issues in the Bible, while I had everything wrong on the majors in the Bible.
• Today I can share the stories with someone else (who can relate) how difficult it was to hide my true face with a smiley mask.
• How desperately I wanted to sell ‘Jesus’ and evangelize the entire world but couldn’t get even a single soul to the magic level of 'sinner’s prayer'.
• How I admired those with seminary degrees and PhD’s at the end of their names; and felt a bit envious about them seeing all the respect and admiration they get from people.
• How reverent I was in the presence of people with a ‘Rev.’ in front of their names.
• How faithful I was in my tithing that I felt so good, self-righteous and prideful after putting each check in the offering plate.
• How difficult it was to welcome the old ex-prostitute who came to the door and how difficult was it to love her.
• How heated the debate was do determine whether to let her participate in the Lord's supper since she wasn't baptized.
  
• What a perfect devotion I had towards the ‘authority’ of the church and how submissive I was to them.
• How wonderful I felt when they talked about the possibility of including me in the church board.
• The privileges I enjoyed as being an 'official member' of the church and I even dreamed about the nice things people would tell about me during my funeral.
• How wonderful the food was in the fellowship hours after the service and I always appreciated those ice creams and pizzas people brought for their children's birthdays.
• How much sins I confessed during the endless alter calls Sunday after Sunday, and still wondered and worried if I were really forgiven, even saved.
• How beautiful it was to memorize the fruits of the spirit and I find it even challenging to memorize it in the order it is written in Bible; but didn’t have a clue what it was like bearing those fruits in real life.
• How enthusiastically I looked forward to each 'service' in order to get a boost to my spiritual energy.
• How (righteously) angry I was at my wife for being late to dress up kids to go to church on Sunday mornings.
• What a struggle it was to 'keep' my salvation and how much I searched internet to study how conditional the salvation was.
• How desperately I wanted to pursue holiness and acceptance through - fasting, prayer, Bible study, charity, dedication, church work and service.
• How much I admired faith healers and wished (secretly) if I could do the 'blowing' like them so that the entire people in the auditorium would fall like dead bodies.
• How I wanted to show off the thick Bibles/concordances/study tools etc I owned.
• How great I felt when the pastor once told that I pray very well and effectively after listening to one of my public prayers.
• How much I looked forward for the mention of my name by the pastor from pulpit about the tireless services I did for the church.
• How I felt so worthy when once pastor publicly praised me for giving a ride for a family who didn't have a car and lived far away.
• How accurately I learned to define salvation as a step by step process starting from Romans 10:9
• How angry I used to get at the slow old lady drivers while speeding to the church On Sunday mornings while blaming my wife all the way for being late.
• How many times I have used the 'F' word (in my heart) at the sluggish drivers while driving to the 'House of the Lord'!
  
• What a terrible fight my wife and I used to have during the 30 minutes drive to church; but after stepping into the building how cleverly we tried to appear as if we were the happiest couple in the world.
• How wisely I thought it was my wife's job to take care of the kids during the service letting her husband to attend the service and gain all the insights from the preaching, which (I thought) she couldn't gain even if she attended!
• What a dirty hypocrite was I! What a white washed tomb was I! How much I dragged the 'filthy rags' all along...
  

Aaah... Thank God for rescuing me from the unauthentic, hypocritical, self-righteous, unreal, dishonest lifestyle of a Pharisee... and humbling me and putting me back on the solid ground of your awesome grace where love and love alone reigns all the more. Hallelujah!

What a relief it is to be free from institutionalism!

What would you do (WWYD)?

I like to raise a question. Imagine you have a very successful ministry (or church), which you have built up over the many years by tirelessly working for it with all your energy. You have gained a huge population of ‘followers’ through your books, websites, sermons, blogs, radio and television ministries. You literally have a cutting edge theology, doctrines, principles, worldviews and biblical frameworks. You have used some great sounding illustrations to explain your positions on theological matters and you believe with all your heart what you teach/preach/write is faultless. From the financial contributions of your ‘partners’, listeners and followers you built a world-class head quarters in one of the metro cities in U.S. You even have international coverage, and gained access to some of the highly unreachable areas around the world. You make a good living out of your ministry; your spouse resigned from his/her job and joined you to help you out in the work of the Lord. You have many of your relatives in the ministry’s payroll. There are multitudes out there sending money to your ministry accounts every month by partnering with you as ‘members’. Let’s say your ministry is now 5, 10 or 20 years old and you slowly began to understand the theology you embraced for years is not really standing against the scrutiny of the truth of the New Testament. Your understanding is challenged and shaken by some of the things God started to reveal to you from His Word (It all started from the darkest moment of your life where you wondered why some of your principles didn't really work in real life). You are in utter confusion, but God is not stopping there, he is continually, without apology, challenging your heart. You really started feeling the ‘double-edged sword’ going deep into your soul, God is removing the veil over your eyes, things becoming clearer and clearer every day in a fresh perspective. You are even wondering how you missed the obvious. You struggled with God and His Word, but can’t win, finally reaching a point where you either ignore the truths mindlessly and continue with the work of the ministry as if nothing happened OR you admit everything you have ever learned/taught was utterly wrong and make a 180 degree turn. You are standing on fire that without tearing off major parts of the Bible (Pauline Epistles, for example) you can't win.

What would you do?

On one side shame, ego, money, fame, people, buildings, books, CDs and on the other side truth...

I am not particularly asking YOU to answer the question but I was just thinking out loud what would people do in such situations. Can someone knowingly teach error? Can someone teach some 'principles' which don't even work in their own life, again and again? How much people can illogically double talk? How strong the 'tradition' can become, over the truth?

Christian double talk

People say and sing with their mouth that it is all about Jesus. But if we observe them, it’s all about them – their church, their pastor, their baptism, their evangelism, their charity, their spiritual gifts, their community.

It’s like listening to a sermon where the preacher says that it is the grace of God what saves us and it is the grace of God what sustains us and it is all about His grace and at the end of His sermon he would give a list of things to do to improve our spiritual life. And the entire congregation has no problem with these clearly contradicting points that they would receive it with applause. What is wrong with us? To see the contradicting concepts in Christianity, I do not think we need to be seminary trained or to have a possession of deep theological knowledge; all we need is some common sense.

A pastor once told me that New Covenant is a continuation of Old covenant. At the same time he believes in the FULL gospel and the forgiveness by the death of Christ. How can these two concepts go hand in hand? Under the New covenant we are forgiven by the death of Christ, which was a one time act, whereas per the Old Covenant the High priest has to go to the altar with the blood of bulls and goats day after day, year after year, again and again and again. To me, I can either believe that the one time sacrifice of the perfect lamb of God (Jesus) took my entire sins away OR I can believe that I need to do some kind of sacrifice (killing bulls and goats, confession, walking the aisle etc) to keep me forgiven. How can I believe both at the same time? It simply negates logic.

Another big one is, it is not by works we are saved. I knew it and I memorized Ephesians 2:8-9. But then I heard, we need to ‘work out our salvation' or we may 'fall from grace' and lose our salvation.
Again, both these concepts cannot be true. It’s like C.S Lewis said: either Jesus is a liar OR He is God. He cannot be both and He cannot be someone in between.

I wrote a post back in January on Christian Double talk. I am still amazed at the fact that people can believe with all their heart the two totally contradicting concepts, which totally defies any human logic and reasoning. It is one thing that Bible says ‘My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge’, but it is whole another thing that people don’t even use simple logic when it comes to their religious beliefs.

Double talk

I have lived the 'double talk' in Christianity for sometime without even realizing it. Religion has lot of power that it mesmerizes us to think everything it teaches is right. James 1:8 tell us that a double-minded man is unstable in all he does. I was one like that. The guilt, fear and shame it produced was unimaginable. The following are some of the things I have observed in the Christian religion. The idea is not to bash things but to share the amazement.

Isn’t funny that we tell people that Christ died to take away their sins, and tell them how to confess them?
Isn’t funny that we tell people to go where ever God leads them, and then telling them where to go?
Isn’t funny that we tell people that God is love, and tell them how to ‘earn’ His love?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that salvation is not by works, and teach the ‘steps’ to be saved?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that Gospel is all about Jesus, and explains them things to ‘do’ to be saved or stay saved?
Isn’t it funny that we teach people from New Testament, and ignore the significance of New Covenant?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that the curtain was torn from top to bottom, and still build tabernacles?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that we can call God, Abba Father, and teach them to mug up prayer?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that God is omniscient, and then tell them to pray to change God’s mind?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people to call God our Father, and refer to Him as God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?
Isn’t it funny that we teach people that we are under a New Covenant, and then teach them to tithe?
Isn’t it funny that we teach people to tithe, and then serve them pork for dinner?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people to read 2 Cor 3:7-11, and fight for public display of 10 commandments?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that Holy Spirit is our teacher, and still busy building seminaries?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that the church is the body of Christ (group of believers), and invite them to a building calling it ‘church’?
Isn’t it funny that we tell people that we are under Grace, and teach them law?
Isn’t funny that we tell people that Christ came seeking sinners not the righteous, and bash sinners?
Isn't it funny that we teach people that what matters to God is not the education but the heart, then hire only seminary graduates?
Isn't it funny that we tell people that Jesus's disciples were poor, then tell them to pray for prosperity?
Isn't it funny that we tell people that Jesus used uneducated to change the world, and put M.Th and M.Div at the end our names?
Isn't it funny that we tell people that they are free in Christ, and then bash them for not obeying the law?
Isn't it funny that we tell people that money is evil, and pray to bless them financially?
Isn't funny that we tell people that we cannot serve mammon and God at the same time, and inviting them to testify about the 'financial miracle'?
Isn't it funny that we tell people that sinners are welcome to our 'church', and bash them with law?
Isn't it funny that we tell people to be like 'Bereans' (Acts 17:11), and then excommunicate them if they question?