God of small things

God of small things is the title of a book which won the booker prize award in 1997. Though I never read that book, the title really attracted me and the author is from the same place where I was born.

And now that Joel wrote another post called God in the ordinary, I am inspired to write some of my thoughts about the God of small things.

As a follower of churchianity, I have always thought I have to do big things for God. I remember, few months after becoming a Christian I started participating in the evangelical programs of the church. I went to university campus to reach out to the students with the message of gospel. I visited homes telling them about Jesus. I distributed ‘free chilled water’ in summer for the commuters, handing over tracts along with water bottles. When some people hesitated to accept the tracts I thought that was ‘persecution’ and felt so proud that I am being persecuted for Christ! I acted in bible dramas to reach out to unbelievers. I felt so good because I was doing all the big things. Sometimes I forgot my small family back at home waiting for me. I walked with big bibles and expositories in my hand and engaged in big theological discussions. ‘End times’ was one of my favorites. People considered me as a person who is ‘fired up’ for Jesus. I liked the attention I started to get. I did more to bring more attention. I was busy and acted busy as well around others. I enjoyed the praises of elders and pastors. I appeared happy and busy for God on Sundays. After all these, on Monday when I wake up I was dry and miserable like hell. I was impatient towards my wife. I wondered what Jesus meant by the 'spring of water welling up in us'. I had no joy. I used to cry out to God while driving to office, to bring joy in my life. I negotiated with Him about the big things I am doing. I reminded Him the things I did and demanded 'joy'.

I was focused on doing big things while forgetting the small things - resting in Him, enjoying His life, abiding in Him just like a branch, allowing Him to live His life, learning to be contented in all the circumstances.

He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?). He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace changed me radically, inside out. He revealed the truth of His gospel and gave me freedom. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. I came out as a new person after that deep clean process. I started unlearning religion. Now that I know that I can enjoy all the small things in life because I have a big God. I can relax and snuggle into His lap because I have a God who is serious about me. I can simply focus on Him enjoy His love in all the small things here on earth because He did some big things for me. I can enjoy this small life here because He is preparing a big life there.

Today, I don’t want to be part of a big group to enjoy their small god. I don’t want to take up big projects for a God who said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I don’t have to invent big ‘faith formulas’ to tap God to do what I want. I have a big God who said it is not the amount of faith that matters, even faith as small as a ‘mustard seed’ can do wonders. I don’t want to seek the attention of others by doing big things, because I already have the full attention of a big God. I have a God who asked to learn to be contented in all the circumstances no matter what.

My salvation is not bigger than my Savior. My faith is not bigger than the object of it. I am glad that today I am learning to be contented in small things, such as may be writing a small blog post to encourage few people, enjoying the beauty of His creation, watching a butterfly flying, looking at the sky, watching the starts, reading a story to my kids, watching TV with my wife, going for a walk with the entire family, calling a friend, purchasing grocery for the old lady lives next door, sharing the tomatoes grown in our backyard with the neighbors,....

We will not be 'known' for these kind of acts because they are not big. But thats okay. It is Jesus who will attract people to Him. He is pretty big, not me. He can do big things. He is a big God of small things. I am glad I found this God (or did He find me?), and I want to enjoy Him for the rest of my life here. No big plans. No big visions. No big anticipations. No big programs. I just want to be a small vessel in the hands of a big God and it is up to Him what He wants to do with it. May be its going to be big, may be small. In either way I am what I am by His grace.