Regrets of the Dying

Loved this post "Regrets of the Dying" by someone who worked in palliative care for years and noted down the regrets her patients had or anything they would do differently. She says she was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives and the common themes surfaced again and again.

The most common five

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Read the entire post by clicking here.

Friends, Gods, and Devils

I am currently reading the story of C.S Lewis in a book titled 'The man behind Narnia', which I took from the youth section of our city library. I like books from the youth section, especially biographies, since it has large prints and it's much readable. It's not that I have eye sight issues, it's just the ease in reading large prints.

I have admired C.S Lewis in a great respect as a scholarly writer and Christian apologist. His genius and intellect is highly commendable. But what surprised me in this book was the other side of the story - his struggles as a young child, early death of his father and mother, the fear, confusion and loneliness he endured as a young adult, the eccentricity he showed while being a Professor in Oxford and Cambridge, his late marriage with an American woman who held anti-american views, her suffering with cancer etc. Many of his early writings were rejected by publishers. It also surprised me the little things such a wardrobe and the ordinary people such as a gardener who have influenced him to write many of his books later in his life.

In this book, there is a chapter called 'Friends, Gods, and Devils' where the author discusses about the friend circle and the community Lewis was part of, while living and teaching in Oxford. He says,

They [Lewis and his friends] met on Thursday evenings, with no formal agenda or minutes of officers, but a common determination to share their writing and thoughts.

"Is there any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a fire?" wrote Lewis. "The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are".

They usually met in Lewis's rooms, with food such as ham and cheese on the table and always a pot of very strong tea brewed by Warnie (Lewis's brother).

The chapter later says, they also met before lunch at the beginning of the week in an Oxford Pub called The Eagle and Child. It says, there was outpouring of wit, nonsense, whimsy, dialectical swordplay.

Lewis once said:

Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, "sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends." I know I am fortunate in that respect. - The letters of C.S Lewis to Arthur Greeves

I get excited by reading about this kind of communities where people meet with no formal agenda or minutes of officers. Wow! What a great way of having fellowship with like minded believers? I agree with Lewis, "Is there any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a fire?"

Somewhere along the line we lost it. We introduced agendas, minutes and officers and focused on it/them rather than focusing on the people and what what God is doing in their lives. We lost the sweetness of friendships, the casual encounters with people, the warmth of hospitality, the exchange of real issues with real people. We reduced such great fellowships to the unauthentic pulpit-pew system where there is no room for any exchange. We isolated ourselves from others in order to earn and achieve our selfish dreams and we said goodbye to the biblical model of casual but authentic assembling of believers and embraced the element of anonymity in mega churches.

I am wondering if there are still those endangered breeds of Christians who are willing to meet with others without the pressure of agendas, minutes and officers? And probably come together as they are and exchange their hearts in love?

Rethinking 'Community'

When I wrote Rethinking 'Church' I didn't even have a remote idea to start a 'Rethinking' series itself. But it seems like that is what is happening...

It is my definition of the community is that it is a place where we can genuinely open up and share everything without the fear of condemnation or judgement. A place where we can pour out our heart without any 'processing'. A place to find the much needed encouragement and true fellowship. I mean, being authentic and being just as we are. No definitions, no titles, no hierarchies, no meetings, no schedules or any such things.

I believe that Christian walk is just not about oneself but it is about a community. We can see such great communities all over the Bible. Friendlessness is a hindrance to advance in our Grace walk and to reach many others. Billions out their trapped in the dead works of religion needs the message of freedom in Christ.

Are such communities possible? If yes, will it make any difference? We can see some great communities in the book of acts such as the group of people coming together everyday and sharing everything they have, devoting themselves to the teachings of the Apostles, counting all their possessions ‘in common’.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I see the crucial significance of community in this verse - But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Isolation never have been or never will be a solution to anything. The beautiful picture of the 'body of Christ' underlines the significance of members working together for a common good.

At the same time I do not think such communities are possible only by being a part of an organization. We cannot limit ourself to such possibilities. Instead, such organizations can easily destroy the very purpose of the community itself.

I am grateful to God for giving some great friends right here in this blog world. I think this is a great way of having fellowship. How far should we go about sharing our heart on these public blogs is a question many people struggle with. Though this is a 'face less' media, we could see it as an advantage. Being an introvert by nature I have problem in opening up to a live audience (unless I am so emotional), but here I face no such issues and I think it is great.

I still need to continue learning to be real and authentic. I still need to continue learning to share my struggles. I find lot of encouragement in the Bible itself. Apostle Paul did not hide his struggles as a Christian. Gospel writers did not hide the denying Peter or doubting Thomas. The old testament writers did not hide the shortcomings of many great men of God such as David, Solomon etc. In fact I am quite surprised to see the name of harlot Rahab in Hebrews 11. Why do we mask it if we truly know that we are unconditionally accepted by God for who we are through Christ? By being real and authentic many people out there would be able to relate the struggles in their own life and be encouraged by the fact that they are not alone. Can we use this media not only to share the blessings but the struggles, doubts, questions, sins, confusion etc as well? Can we take up the challenge which James brings up to us to confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that we may be healed?