A personal note...

I would like to warn those who are looking for a boost for their faith or encouragement in their Christian walk. This more likely is not going to do it for you. Here are few things about me...

1. I have struggle with compulsive eating and over eating once in a while.

2. I am very emotional in nature. I like to watch emotionally touching movies just by myself so that my wife wouldn't see me wiping my tears.

3. I am very self conscious. I get too conscious when I eat with my co-workers, so I go to my car to eat my lunch.

4. I have stolen money from my Dad's drawer to buy goodies while I was in school.

5. I have sneaked out of my home in the name of attending youth bible study and prayer meeting during my teenage days just to enjoy some freedom outside.

6. I literally hate legalists and self righteous and often angry at them.

7. I like to see the church which I left splitting, losing its members and destroying.

8. I have a very bad perfectionist spirit that I want everything in order all the time at home.

9. I am very selfish that I push my kids to sleep sooner so that I can read books.

10. I let my wife go shopping by her own so that I can just stay back home and relax.

11. I have often lied to my boss with excuses when I couldn't meet certain deadlines.

12. I act holy and righteous in front of my unsaved friends and relatives.

13. I haven't read the entire Bible from beginning to end, even once.

14. I have a fear of seeing blood. Once I passed out when a nurse drew blood from my hand for regular physicals.

15. I have hospital phobia. Once I felt dizzy and nauseated seeing the many tubes connected to my grand mother when I visited her in ICU.

16. I have a fear of heights. I hate any rides such as roller coaster, ferry wheel etc

17. I get panicked when certain things happen in life. My wife has told me that I am very weak emotionally that I couldn't handle any crisis in life.

18. For the last 8 years I have been trying to lose 10 pounds of my weight and so far no success not matter how much I work out or diet.

19. I always twist any conversations my wife starts with me into criticizing religion and venting out my frustrations.

20. Some of the ugliest thoughts I ever had were during the time of Bible study.

21. I feel depressed on Sunday evenings.

I could still go on. Evidently, I am a selfish, arrogant, not-too-good-to-be-around, weak, over weight, some times depressed person. The reason I write this is because I have a desire in my heart to put down any religious mask I often wear. I know deep in my heart that Jesus loves me for who I am and I think that is the only positive, ever lasting, unchangeable thing in my life.