Trusting others

I want to learn to trust people. I was raised in a home where I was taught to be always 'cautious' about others, and the surroundings. A pattern has been developed in my brain that I shouldn't trust anyone by default. My default setting is mistrust and skepticism. It goes beyond people to ideas, philosophies, theologies etc.

This is part of the reason I would ignore the broken cars on the freeway. I know they might need help but I can't trust them.

Mostly I pay no attention to the authors/preachers unless I know them in person or someone whom I trust recommend them. I find it hard to take risk there. I always get uncomfortable when my kids, out of their innocence, attempt to talk to strangers. What if they have an intention to harm my kids?

I know wisdom and a spirit of discernment plays a good role in judging others and their intentions. But I find it hard to balance myself. Deep in my heart, I want to trust people and I want to love people, even strangers regardless of how they look, what they wear etc.

Do you struggle with this issue? Do you trust people first and then love them Or do you love them first and then grow your trust in them? Is fear the cause of mistrust? Shouldn't we fearlessly trust people with a willingness in our heart to face the consequences if we were wrong in judging them as trustworthy?

Trusting

Are we sure that we can live in peace regardless of our circumstances? The knowledge of the love of my Father gives me a quite strength which I can't possibly explain using my vocabulary. But that doesn't mean that I am at peace irrespective of life situations. Life easily affects my sensitive mood and I can be totally restless sometimes. Sometimes I think may be it is money, people, material possessions, health what makes people really content. Then I will realize it is not.

I see myself going in this loop: trust - falling from trust - worry. When I am not trusting my Father for EVERYTHING, I am worrying. There is no in-between, either I am trusting or worrying. And what is frustrating to me is that it wouldn't take a split of second to lose my trust. BTW, I am not talking about faith. I am talking about trust.

It's interesting that I wrote about perfectionism a week ago and soon after that my kids were sick. It knocked my perfectionism real hard and put me in a 'mess'. My schedules were ruined, my peace was troubled.
But I thank God that He gave me an opportunity to 're-think', to slow down. It also tells me that there is nothing, absolutely nothing is in 'my' control. It wouldn't take more than few minutes to be in situations where we feel that we are 'powerless'.

The entire life I see as a 'variable' and if that variable is not built on a 'constant', it's going to be shaky. I call that 'constant' trusting Jesus.