Monday, May 19, 2008


It is one of those times, I feel spiritually dull and unproductive. Times, I have nothing much to say or encourage. Times, I am tempted to ‘do’ something on my own to boost up my spiritual energy. I struggle to deal with the hard numbness within the spirit, but unable to even pray. It is not unbelief, it is not the lack of knowledge, it is not the lack of encouragement from others, but it is simply the unfelt Love.

But one good thing happened this morning; I watched one of the videos of Steve McVey in his ‘Sailing In Agape’ series - Sailing In Agape - Day Three. In the video he addresses a question which I struggle with often times - When the wind (Christ within you) stops moving you forward, what should you do? His answer is - Do nothing but WAIT! [overcome the temptation to row the boat with my own energy of the flesh]

Well, that is the hardest thing I can do - Waiting. My brain is somehow not programmed in such a way. But at the least, it (the post) gave me little hope, realizing that 'waiting' is also part of our life in Him. I don't know why is it required, but I am simply going to WAIT! [Be still!]


Joel Brueseke said...

I've had a blog post that has to do with 'waiting' in draft mode since the day after I posted "Are we there yet." That was almost two weeks ago, and every time I sit down to write about it, I have all kinds of thoughts but it simply won't come through in writing, so I've been 'waiting' to finish it up and post it. :)

Steve's Day 3 post really stuck out to me more than the rest (not that the others haven't been great!) because it really does have a lot to do with what's been on my mind lately as I look back on my life in Christ. There have been lots of times of waiting, and we need to encourage each other with the truth that it's a normal part of the Christian life, not an abnormal part.

Indeed, we're tempted to set our own course or use our own fleshly means to make something happen, but all we need to do is rest in Him and know that the wind of the Spirit blows where it wishes and will take us where we need to go in the proper time.

Matthew Daelon said...

I am going through the same thing, brother.

The past week or so I haven't been feeling anything. I've barely read any of my Bible and I have very spread weird prayer patterns. I casually talk with God...which doesn't really feel like prayer.

During these times I'm tempted to worry that I'm falling away from God and becoming worldly, etc, etc. At times it feels like I'm drifting down a stream, forcing myself not to try to hold onto anything. It's really scary. I want to muster up feelings of love and excitement for God but it would be the same repeated pattern of feeling really high then feeling really low. I'm tried of worrying about my moods and criticizing myself for consistent inconsistency!

Nicole said...

I too have been in a waiting and wondering state of mind! Mainly concerning our move and renting our condo! I know there is nothing I need to worry about, but, it does make me wonder how long we can wait for our condo to rent out and getting a place in Durango! Sometimes its easy to let it go and trust Father, and other times, that is not so easy! As far as my relationship with Father goes, it has been better! I can't really say that my relationship has been on fire and perfect, that rarly happens in my life, but, I can say that Father has never left my side even though it feels like he has! I have probably been more distracted with other stuff. I have peace though that Father has never left me even if I felt that I have left him!

Just learning how to not allow guilt to take over in my life! Father has freed me from that and I feel no condemnation!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Bino Manjasseril said...

Ah...When I wrote this post I didn't know I had to go into a literal 'waiting' mode. I was sick and stuck at home for 2 days. On the positive side, it helped me to slow down, lose some weight and do some meaningful reading :)
Thank you all for sharing and encouraging...
I am hoping to catchup reading all your latest posts in the coming days!