I am sharing this story as part of the synchroblog idea Joel came up with. The biggest challenge for me to write this up here is about how to make it short. :)
I was born in a very orthodox Christian family, where my parents, grand parents and many generations practiced Eastern Orthodox religion (a branch of Greek Orthodox). Religion, church, and related rituals were all part of our life during childhood. Starting with my parents, continuing with my teachers at school and Sunday school, including the church clergies, pretty much all the people I ever came to know in my life, in one way or the other, knowingly or unknowingly have tried to put pressure on me to perform/behave in a certain way. In other words, no one wanted to accept me as who I was. Everyone expected something from me - from good grades in school to good behaviors at church.
All these, including many incidents through out my childhood, slowly started to inject a deadly poison into my brain - that my worth is directly depended on my performance.
Later on, in my late twenties, I was introduced to Pentecostalism, where I learned the idea of being born-again first time in my life. I saw it in the Bible that Jesus is the only means for Salvation (which the orthodox church never taught!). I got saved by believing in Jesus. It brought a lot of joy into my life.
But, sooner my focus started changing. I started falling into 'doing' stuff, thinking that is what God expected from me as a Christian. It all got powered up by the faulty concept many of us has learned during our life time - that our worth is directly depending on our performance.
The following few years, my life was a roller-coaster ride of performance, gaining Bible knowledge, religious show off, emotional experiences, faith formulas, prosperity gospel, prophecies, health and wealth, name it and claim it, end times and all that you can think of.
I started following the popular beliefs of 'churchianity'.
As a follower of churchianity, I have always thought I have to do 'big' things for God. I remember, few months after becoming a Christian I started participating in the evangelical programs of the church. I went to university campus to reach out to the students with the message of gospel. I visited homes telling them about Jesus. I distributed ‘free chilled water’ in summer for the commuters, handing over tracts along with water bottles. When some people hesitated to accept the tracts I thought that was ‘persecution’ and felt so proud that I am being persecuted for Christ! I acted in bible dramas to reach out to unbelievers. I felt so good because I was doing all the big things. Sometimes I forgot my small family back at home waiting for me. I walked with big bibles and expositories in my hand and engaged in big theological discussions. ‘End times’ was one of my favorites. People considered me as a person who is ‘fired up’ for Jesus. I liked the attention I started to get. I did more to bring more attention. I was busy and acted busy as well around others. I enjoyed the praises of elders and pastors. I appeared happy and busy for God on Sundays. After all these, on Monday when I wake up I was dry and miserable like hell. I was impatient towards my wife. I wondered what Jesus meant by the 'spring of water welling up in us'. I had no joy. I used to cry out to God while driving to office, to bring joy in my life. I negotiated with Him about the big things I am doing. I reminded Him the things I did and demanded 'joy'.
I was focused on doing big things while forgetting the small things - resting in Him, enjoying His life, abiding in Him just like a branch, allowing Him to live His life through me, learning to be contented in all the circumstances (As Paul said in Philippians 4:10-14).
He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?) in the year of 2006. He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace started changing my outlook on everything radically. He revealed the truth of His gospel and showed me the freedom He offered. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. He changed my perception of Him that He isn't an angry God waiting up there to whack us when we misbehave, but a loving, compassionate God who operates from the paradigm of amazing GRACE. I started seeing myself as He sees me, as a new creation in Christ who is accepted into His family as His own precious child on the sole basis of what Jesus did, not what I do/did/will do.
I started unlearning religion. It still contines, even today...
Make no mistake, this isn't an easy journey. There are many lonely moments. There is opposition. This is not a popular belief. This isn't about following the majority. There is pressure from legalistic sources. There is confusion, doubts, questions, challenges and all that. But, regardless of any of it, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. He has given me the confidence, that no matter how I mess up, I can still snuggle back into His lap and call Him "Abba, Father!". And there is nothing, nothing which can separate me from His love. NOTHING!
Showing posts with label legalism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label legalism. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Find out if you are a legalist...
1. Have you ever felt pressured to hide your sin/s?
2. Do you act differently among believers and unbelievers?
3. Do you feel pressured to convert others into your beliefs?
4. Do you feel bad when you skip church on Sundays?
5. Do you have a perfectionist spirit?
6. Do you hate homosexuals?
7. Do you boast about your religion?
8. Do you feel guilty when you can't keep up your daily 'time with God'?
9. Have you ever got into a fight with your spouse/kids on Sunday morning for they being late for church?
10. Have you ever worried about the 'bad' things people may say during your funeral?
11. Do you think more about your church/ministry than God Himself?
12. Do you have a liking towards the preaching from the OT over the preaching from the NT?
13. Do you think that if you don't tithe, you may lose your favor with God?
14. Do you put pressure on your spouse/kids to keep/make things perfect all the time?
15. Do you feel pressured to convict others about why you believe what you believe?
16. Do you have a different face in church and home?
17. Have you ever felt guilty for not taking a particular ministry at church?
18. Do you have an accountability partner?
19. Have you ever thought that you can tame your fleshly desires and make God more happy?
20. Do you attend seminars like where they teach 'Christian principles'?
21. Have you ever felt pressured to save your pastor's face?
22. Though others think that you are very righteous and posses high moral values, have you ever wondered why you feel dirty inside?
23. Do you tell others that your religion is doing wonders in your life while in reality it's making you miserable?
24. Do you search Scriptures for do's and don'ts?
25. Are you easily angered when some one talk bad about your pastor/church/denomination/religion?
26. Do you teach your kids '10 commandments' and tell them that God get angry if they break one of them?
27. Do you feel any insecurity when you break one of your own do's or don'ts?
28. Do you think more about hell and demons than heaven and God?
29. Do you try hard to be 'good' to others?
30. Do you boast about your charities?
31. Do you believe that your church is the only true church?
32. Have you tried to memorize the sermon on the mount and other Scriptures which has either a 'do' or a 'don't'?
33. Do you believe that the salvation can be lost?
34. Do you always look for creative ways to hide your shortcomings from others?
35. Do you spend more time trying to clean up others from their sins than telling them about God's love?
36. Are you a believer that you have to keep confessing your sins to God in order to keep you forgiven?
37. Do you like Scriptures like 1 John 1:9 than Scriptures like Heb 10:10?
38. Do you believe that salvation itself is by grace, but sanctification is by 'works' (obedience to the law)?
39. When you visit a Christian book store, do you look for 'how to' books?
40. Do others think that you are good enough, but you feel deep inside that you are falling short?
41. Do you recite/ponder/quote verses like 'work out your salvation with fear and trembling' than other verses like 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'?
42. Do you particularly search for Scriptures which sound as if God's love is conditional?
43. Do you act as if you love sinners, but literally hate them?
44. Do you believe you will go 'out of fellowship' with God if you sin or don't do enough of the spiritual routines such as prayer, bible study, church attendance or 'quiet time with God'?
45. When you talk about list of sins, do you always talk about 'big' ones like adultery and ignore 'small' ones like selfishness, greediness, self-centeredness, pride, envy etc?
46. Have you ever felt that the more you put yourself under more strict laws/rules/principles, the more you are tempted to sin and preoccupied with sinful thoughts? But you still try to make it more stricter?
47. No matter how much you do the 'right' things and abstain from the 'wrong' things, do you still feel it isn't good enough?
48. Do you try to get a LIFE from the scriptures?
49. Do you participate in 'prayer chains' or 'fasting chains' and feel proud about it?
50. Do you show off your spirituality/religiosity?
51. Do you use prayer, fasting, worship, discipline, ministry, tithing, charity, obedience, righteous living etc as tools to please God and earn His favor?
52. Are you motivated/driven by fear rather than love when it comes to your religion/spirituality/relationships?
53. Do you tend to control/manipulate others, especially using fear-tactics?
54. Do you seek/desire after leadership positions at your church? Do you feel that you 'deserve' some positions?
55. Do you feel tempted to correct every false doctrines in the world? Do you spend more time telling others how their religion is wrong?
56. Do you feel proud when your pastor/leader publicly praise your ministerial works?
57. Do you seek to gain more (biblical) knowledge to attract attention of others?
58. Do you feel insecured if your belief/s is challenged and do you frantically look for scriptures to (somehow) defend your belief?
If you answered 'Yes' for at least one of these, you have legalistic traits; if you answered 'Yes' for more than one, you are a 'mild' legalist and the scale goes up to a hardcore Pharisee as the number of 'Yes''s goes up...
I just realized, on a 1 to 10 scale, I come somewhere in the middle :)
2. Do you act differently among believers and unbelievers?
3. Do you feel pressured to convert others into your beliefs?
4. Do you feel bad when you skip church on Sundays?
5. Do you have a perfectionist spirit?
6. Do you hate homosexuals?
7. Do you boast about your religion?
8. Do you feel guilty when you can't keep up your daily 'time with God'?
9. Have you ever got into a fight with your spouse/kids on Sunday morning for they being late for church?
10. Have you ever worried about the 'bad' things people may say during your funeral?
11. Do you think more about your church/ministry than God Himself?
12. Do you have a liking towards the preaching from the OT over the preaching from the NT?
13. Do you think that if you don't tithe, you may lose your favor with God?
14. Do you put pressure on your spouse/kids to keep/make things perfect all the time?
15. Do you feel pressured to convict others about why you believe what you believe?
16. Do you have a different face in church and home?
17. Have you ever felt guilty for not taking a particular ministry at church?
18. Do you have an accountability partner?
19. Have you ever thought that you can tame your fleshly desires and make God more happy?
20. Do you attend seminars like where they teach 'Christian principles'?
21. Have you ever felt pressured to save your pastor's face?
22. Though others think that you are very righteous and posses high moral values, have you ever wondered why you feel dirty inside?
23. Do you tell others that your religion is doing wonders in your life while in reality it's making you miserable?
24. Do you search Scriptures for do's and don'ts?
25. Are you easily angered when some one talk bad about your pastor/church/denomination/religion?
26. Do you teach your kids '10 commandments' and tell them that God get angry if they break one of them?
27. Do you feel any insecurity when you break one of your own do's or don'ts?
28. Do you think more about hell and demons than heaven and God?
29. Do you try hard to be 'good' to others?
30. Do you boast about your charities?
31. Do you believe that your church is the only true church?
32. Have you tried to memorize the sermon on the mount and other Scriptures which has either a 'do' or a 'don't'?
33. Do you believe that the salvation can be lost?
34. Do you always look for creative ways to hide your shortcomings from others?
35. Do you spend more time trying to clean up others from their sins than telling them about God's love?
36. Are you a believer that you have to keep confessing your sins to God in order to keep you forgiven?
37. Do you like Scriptures like 1 John 1:9 than Scriptures like Heb 10:10?
38. Do you believe that salvation itself is by grace, but sanctification is by 'works' (obedience to the law)?
39. When you visit a Christian book store, do you look for 'how to' books?
40. Do others think that you are good enough, but you feel deep inside that you are falling short?
41. Do you recite/ponder/quote verses like 'work out your salvation with fear and trembling' than other verses like 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'?
42. Do you particularly search for Scriptures which sound as if God's love is conditional?
43. Do you act as if you love sinners, but literally hate them?
44. Do you believe you will go 'out of fellowship' with God if you sin or don't do enough of the spiritual routines such as prayer, bible study, church attendance or 'quiet time with God'?
45. When you talk about list of sins, do you always talk about 'big' ones like adultery and ignore 'small' ones like selfishness, greediness, self-centeredness, pride, envy etc?
46. Have you ever felt that the more you put yourself under more strict laws/rules/principles, the more you are tempted to sin and preoccupied with sinful thoughts? But you still try to make it more stricter?
47. No matter how much you do the 'right' things and abstain from the 'wrong' things, do you still feel it isn't good enough?
48. Do you try to get a LIFE from the scriptures?
49. Do you participate in 'prayer chains' or 'fasting chains' and feel proud about it?
50. Do you show off your spirituality/religiosity?
51. Do you use prayer, fasting, worship, discipline, ministry, tithing, charity, obedience, righteous living etc as tools to please God and earn His favor?
52. Are you motivated/driven by fear rather than love when it comes to your religion/spirituality/relationships?
53. Do you tend to control/manipulate others, especially using fear-tactics?
54. Do you seek/desire after leadership positions at your church? Do you feel that you 'deserve' some positions?
55. Do you feel tempted to correct every false doctrines in the world? Do you spend more time telling others how their religion is wrong?
56. Do you feel proud when your pastor/leader publicly praise your ministerial works?
57. Do you seek to gain more (biblical) knowledge to attract attention of others?
58. Do you feel insecured if your belief/s is challenged and do you frantically look for scriptures to (somehow) defend your belief?
If you answered 'Yes' for at least one of these, you have legalistic traits; if you answered 'Yes' for more than one, you are a 'mild' legalist and the scale goes up to a hardcore Pharisee as the number of 'Yes''s goes up...
I just realized, on a 1 to 10 scale, I come somewhere in the middle :)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Conversation between God and the Legalist
Legalist: Oh God of Abraham, Jacob and Issac, as part of being obedient to your word and commandment, I have decided to fast for the next three days. Bless my fasting. Give me strength to fight temptations of food and drink. I don’t want to be like those pagan Christians who never fast.
God: It sounds like you already know that fasting is going to be hard for you. So it’s better you not fast. I have blessed you with my salvation and will continue to bless you anyways.
Legalist: I am fasting so that I can be much closer to you like I was in the early days.
God: I am living in you.
Legalist: Yes, I mean… No, but that’s only a positional truth. I want your tangible presence.
God: I am living in you.
Legalist: Well, okay! But… I want to restore my fellowship with you which I lost when I sinned last week.
God: I will never leave you nor forsake you. You are my son.
Legalist: I promise you, I will restart my systematic Bible study from next week and I am fasting today so that I can rededicate myself to a more disciplined prayer life and devotion. I ask your forgiveness for not reading my Bible…
God: You are righteous in Christ. You are my beloved son. You are a saint!
Legalist: But,… I still sin… Pls. forgive me. I promise I will take up that nursery ministry at church. I have been feeling so guilty every time pastor brings that topic up.
God: Your sins (past, present and future) have been totally forgiven by the one and only sacrifice of Christ Jesus. Your only work is to believe.
Legalist: I am sorry for skipping the tithe check in the third week of January, 1982.
God: I have accepted you in Christ. I have loved you with perfect love. Nothing can separate you from my eternal love.
Legalist: But I am guilty for not tithing.
God: You have liberty in Christ. You are free from the law.
Legalist: I am sorry for skipping church. I broke Sabbath.
God: Your righteousness comes from Christ, apart from law. You are dead to the law. You cannot be declared righteous through obedience to the law. Law is for those who are under the law, you are free from the law for law makes nothing perfect.
Legalist: I kind of agree but I am sure you didn't mean '10 commandments' when you say law?
God: 2 Cor 3:7-11
Legalist: Pls. fill me with the Holy Spirit
God: My Spirit lives in you since the time you were born-again.
Legalist: Pls. bless me financially, so that I can buy a Cadillac. I promise I will not skip tithe again.
God: My grace is sufficient for you. You are blessed beyond measure in Christ. You may live the rest of the life discovering the treasures you have in Christ.
Legalist: I love you.
God: I have loved you while you were still a sinner.
Legalist: I have sowed the seed of $100 in ORM ministries, I stand on the promise you have given in your word and claim my return - "Give, and it will be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over..."
God: I have blessed you already with everything you need. You are a citizen in heaven, a part-taker of divine nature, child of the most High and seated with Christ in heaven.
Legalist: I am sorry for thinking bad thoughts against my pastor who is my spiritual authority, shepherd and priest.
God: I am the good Sheperd. You have an eternal High Priest in heaven. You are complete in Me.
Legalist: Bless my church for including me in the church-board, I will keep my commitment to work for the growth of our church to my best.
God: The work of the ministry is to believe in Me.
Legalist: I am recommitting my commitment to serve you. Bless me.
God: I have bestowed my great love on you, walk by faith in it. Rest in Me. Believe. Believe. Believe. Walk by FAITH. Know the TRUTH and be free. I am faithful to complete the work I have started in you.
Lagalist: I am feeling hungry due to fasting! Give me strength to stand firm in my commitment to my fasting and prayer today. I am confident I am not going to give up today. I can do this! Yes! Bless me. Bless me for doing this. Bless me! Forgive my sins! Restore my fellowship! Fill me with Holy spirit! Come closer! Come down! Look how I confessed my sins! Look how I marched against evil-doers! Look how dedicated and committed I am! Look how I give my money! Look how devoted I am to my church and denomination! Look what I am doing for you! Look how I stood for Republican party! Look how pro-life am I! Look how I hate sinners! Bless me!
God: ------------
God: It sounds like you already know that fasting is going to be hard for you. So it’s better you not fast. I have blessed you with my salvation and will continue to bless you anyways.
Legalist: I am fasting so that I can be much closer to you like I was in the early days.
God: I am living in you.
Legalist: Yes, I mean… No, but that’s only a positional truth. I want your tangible presence.
God: I am living in you.
Legalist: Well, okay! But… I want to restore my fellowship with you which I lost when I sinned last week.
God: I will never leave you nor forsake you. You are my son.
Legalist: I promise you, I will restart my systematic Bible study from next week and I am fasting today so that I can rededicate myself to a more disciplined prayer life and devotion. I ask your forgiveness for not reading my Bible…
God: You are righteous in Christ. You are my beloved son. You are a saint!
Legalist: But,… I still sin… Pls. forgive me. I promise I will take up that nursery ministry at church. I have been feeling so guilty every time pastor brings that topic up.
God: Your sins (past, present and future) have been totally forgiven by the one and only sacrifice of Christ Jesus. Your only work is to believe.
Legalist: I am sorry for skipping the tithe check in the third week of January, 1982.
God: I have accepted you in Christ. I have loved you with perfect love. Nothing can separate you from my eternal love.
Legalist: But I am guilty for not tithing.
God: You have liberty in Christ. You are free from the law.
Legalist: I am sorry for skipping church. I broke Sabbath.
God: Your righteousness comes from Christ, apart from law. You are dead to the law. You cannot be declared righteous through obedience to the law. Law is for those who are under the law, you are free from the law for law makes nothing perfect.
Legalist: I kind of agree but I am sure you didn't mean '10 commandments' when you say law?
God: 2 Cor 3:7-11
Legalist: Pls. fill me with the Holy Spirit
God: My Spirit lives in you since the time you were born-again.
Legalist: Pls. bless me financially, so that I can buy a Cadillac. I promise I will not skip tithe again.
God: My grace is sufficient for you. You are blessed beyond measure in Christ. You may live the rest of the life discovering the treasures you have in Christ.
Legalist: I love you.
God: I have loved you while you were still a sinner.
Legalist: I have sowed the seed of $100 in ORM ministries, I stand on the promise you have given in your word and claim my return - "Give, and it will be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over..."
God: I have blessed you already with everything you need. You are a citizen in heaven, a part-taker of divine nature, child of the most High and seated with Christ in heaven.
Legalist: I am sorry for thinking bad thoughts against my pastor who is my spiritual authority, shepherd and priest.
God: I am the good Sheperd. You have an eternal High Priest in heaven. You are complete in Me.
Legalist: Bless my church for including me in the church-board, I will keep my commitment to work for the growth of our church to my best.
God: The work of the ministry is to believe in Me.
Legalist: I am recommitting my commitment to serve you. Bless me.
God: I have bestowed my great love on you, walk by faith in it. Rest in Me. Believe. Believe. Believe. Walk by FAITH. Know the TRUTH and be free. I am faithful to complete the work I have started in you.
Lagalist: I am feeling hungry due to fasting! Give me strength to stand firm in my commitment to my fasting and prayer today. I am confident I am not going to give up today. I can do this! Yes! Bless me. Bless me for doing this. Bless me! Forgive my sins! Restore my fellowship! Fill me with Holy spirit! Come closer! Come down! Look how I confessed my sins! Look how I marched against evil-doers! Look how dedicated and committed I am! Look how I give my money! Look how devoted I am to my church and denomination! Look what I am doing for you! Look how I stood for Republican party! Look how pro-life am I! Look how I hate sinners! Bless me!
God: ------------
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Room to heal.
About two years ago, after going through a lot of emotional, theological, philosophical and social turmoil, we made a decision to stop attending the church which we attended for years. Well, making such a decision was easier than facing the first Sunday after that. The first Sunday came quickly, than I thought. As usual I woke up that day, ready to face the reality that we were not going to church. It was okay at first, but then as the time approached 10:30, I started becoming restless. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t in the church service at 10:30. I felt awkward and nervous; my heart started beating so fast and I even thought something bad is going to happen to us. My mind wandered and I imagined my kids being afflicted with sickness due to God’s anger on us.
Through the debates, conflicts, discussions, reading, listening and thinking God showed me that He never intended His grace to be mixed with law in any form, at any cost. I was convicted and confident when I made the decision to stay out of church. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. So many years of faulty teaching patterned in my brain and on that Sunday everything came to the surface. I was filled with fear. I wasn't sick, I wasn't out of town and I had no other excuse not to attend church other than my own conviction that everything I was taught in the church over the years was dead wrong.
Finally I ran to my computer to listen to some sermons online! I thought I will pass out if I don’t do at least that part of my Sunday routine. My wife went to the basement to sing songs and worship. We both tried to imitate church at home. I was like a nicotine addict who didn’t have a Cigarette to smoke – sweating and all that stuff. So, I listened to Bob George on realanswers.net and felt little relieved, but still not settled, after all it is still my home, not the 'House of the Lord'!
People say once we are out of an addiction, we will never have a temptation. I don’t agree to them. I quit smoking 6 years ago, but I can still, even today, light up a Cigarette and smoke right away.
The second Sunday wasn’t as bad as the first and eventually the pressure melted down. The process of unlearning started, the detox process from a deadly addiction. A very painful process. I admit I still struggle with it. We attended a community church once in a while just to gratify some of our old religious patterns. But when they mix law and grace, I could hardly sit there.
Knocking legalism off our head is a long process, in most cases. The people who come out of legalistic churches go through a lot of stress and I think it is okay to give them some room to heal. I can’t expect them to get going with grace in full-fledge all of a sudden. They might keep going back and forth between law and grace and that is okay as well.
As I was reading through the book of Acts, couple of incidents really stuck out. Such as the below:
Paul wanted to take him [Timothy] along on the journey, so he circumcised him – Acts 16
This is after Paul’s conversion and he is in full swing on preaching and teaching.
The next day Paul took the men and purified [a Jewish religious custom] himself along with them. – Acts 21
It could be, Paul himself was going through a process of shedding his religion or he was being gentle with Jews in order to earn their trust or to reduce the intensity of rebellion from Jews.
Either way, Paul knew how hard it is for a hardcore Jew to accept the salvation by grace when in all their life time they were taught, brain-washed and indoctrinated on the law. I think he was trying to give them some room. It's not really tolerating legalism but tolerating the legalists who are pathetically caught up in the bondage.
It is the same Paul who taught fervently about the danger of mixing law and grace, in the book of Galatians. He even called them ‘Foolish’ since some of them tried to mix law with grace.
Matthew, in his recent post called Getting Grounded, said:
I realized Jesus gave His disciples time to transition from Law to Grace. He wanted to lay the foundation of love and not duty. Of Grace and not Law.
Jesus was patient with His friends, to allow them to grow in Grace and in the knowledge of Him.
I think, we all, in one way or other, responded in anger - overturning the tables. But, laying the foundation in the solid teaching of grace and unconditional love of God is, in most cases, a long process and this realization alone gives me some patience on others who still struggle with legalism and bondage in their life.
Through the debates, conflicts, discussions, reading, listening and thinking God showed me that He never intended His grace to be mixed with law in any form, at any cost. I was convicted and confident when I made the decision to stay out of church. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. So many years of faulty teaching patterned in my brain and on that Sunday everything came to the surface. I was filled with fear. I wasn't sick, I wasn't out of town and I had no other excuse not to attend church other than my own conviction that everything I was taught in the church over the years was dead wrong.
Finally I ran to my computer to listen to some sermons online! I thought I will pass out if I don’t do at least that part of my Sunday routine. My wife went to the basement to sing songs and worship. We both tried to imitate church at home. I was like a nicotine addict who didn’t have a Cigarette to smoke – sweating and all that stuff. So, I listened to Bob George on realanswers.net and felt little relieved, but still not settled, after all it is still my home, not the 'House of the Lord'!
People say once we are out of an addiction, we will never have a temptation. I don’t agree to them. I quit smoking 6 years ago, but I can still, even today, light up a Cigarette and smoke right away.
The second Sunday wasn’t as bad as the first and eventually the pressure melted down. The process of unlearning started, the detox process from a deadly addiction. A very painful process. I admit I still struggle with it. We attended a community church once in a while just to gratify some of our old religious patterns. But when they mix law and grace, I could hardly sit there.
Knocking legalism off our head is a long process, in most cases. The people who come out of legalistic churches go through a lot of stress and I think it is okay to give them some room to heal. I can’t expect them to get going with grace in full-fledge all of a sudden. They might keep going back and forth between law and grace and that is okay as well.
As I was reading through the book of Acts, couple of incidents really stuck out. Such as the below:
Paul wanted to take him [Timothy] along on the journey, so he circumcised him – Acts 16
This is after Paul’s conversion and he is in full swing on preaching and teaching.
The next day Paul took the men and purified [a Jewish religious custom] himself along with them. – Acts 21
It could be, Paul himself was going through a process of shedding his religion or he was being gentle with Jews in order to earn their trust or to reduce the intensity of rebellion from Jews.
Either way, Paul knew how hard it is for a hardcore Jew to accept the salvation by grace when in all their life time they were taught, brain-washed and indoctrinated on the law. I think he was trying to give them some room. It's not really tolerating legalism but tolerating the legalists who are pathetically caught up in the bondage.
It is the same Paul who taught fervently about the danger of mixing law and grace, in the book of Galatians. He even called them ‘Foolish’ since some of them tried to mix law with grace.
Matthew, in his recent post called Getting Grounded, said:
I realized Jesus gave His disciples time to transition from Law to Grace. He wanted to lay the foundation of love and not duty. Of Grace and not Law.
Jesus was patient with His friends, to allow them to grow in Grace and in the knowledge of Him.
I think, we all, in one way or other, responded in anger - overturning the tables. But, laying the foundation in the solid teaching of grace and unconditional love of God is, in most cases, a long process and this realization alone gives me some patience on others who still struggle with legalism and bondage in their life.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I hate organized church, now what?
So how do we solve all the problems in the institutionalized church? It is so irresistible to our humanity not to provide a solution. Even to the problem of organized religion. We think we have solutions. But the truth is we don’t. I don’t think home churches are a solution. Any solution other than the total abolishment of institutionalization is just another system. Who wants yet another system? Where there are two or three gathered in the name of Jesus, there are also rules, principles, schedules, plans and all those things we hate inside a church building.
One of the stunning things I notice in New Testament is that, though Jesus resisted the monstrous hands of religion, He did not try to fix it. He simply went on with His purpose. We cannot fix any system, no matter how badly we are tempted to do so. I think the legalism in Christianity will be on the rise as we approach rapture, because that’s a very attractive tool Satan can effectively use against God’s children to bind them by taking away their freedom in Christ. He is using it today and he will continue to use it.
When I left organized church few years ago, I thought about a replacement (substitute) system all day long. I was so badly addicted to religion and though I left it, I didn’t feel free of it. So I wanted another system so badly. But thankfully, God did not give me an instant answer. I am glad he did not, because I learned so much more about walking by faith. In my desperation, I cried out to God for a community. I wanted that human security or support system. It is so easy to find security in a group, church or community than trusting Jesus. Trusting Jesus requires courage, and I didn’t have it.
I am not against the fellowship of like-minded believers but all I am saying is that, it is not a substitute for walking by faith. I have fought legalism in general, but now I fight only the ones coming on my way. Not that I agree to the legalistic teachings in church, but I am totally done with it. God has put me in a position where I am not controlled by Christian laws (at least for the major part), so I have a less need to fight against it. That is not to say that I am totally free from the performance mentality. It still creeps in once in a while.
Though I am discouraged by the amount of legalism in Christian circles, my hopes are on the high to see the tremendous number of people who are coming into the understanding of unconditional love and grace of God through Christ Jesus. It is an awesome thing.
Going back to the original question: I hate organized church, now what? The answer to that question in its most simplistic form would be: do proclaim truth. I have no solutions to fix religion, and I don't think it is my job to fix it either. My job is to expose truth, and when truth does its job, there is freedom indeed.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Rethinking 'Church'
When God started to make things clear to me (or when I finally started to listen to Him) about His unconditional love and grace, my first reaction was over-reaction. I was angry at the religion. I wanted to ask those who deceive the people with legalism, why they do that? I wanted to fight the heresy they teach. I was annoyed by the processed sermons they preach. I became intolerant towards legalism. I wanted to be in the middle of it and fight it. I tried, tried and tried. I was treated as someone deceived by a ‘bad theology’. I was told that ‘grace alone’ is dangerous. I was asked to read the ‘what we believe’ page of their website. I was a subject of their prayer, so that God’s wrath won’t fall up on me. I was told that the New Covenant is a continuation of Old Covenant. Finally it came to a point where either they will excommunicate me, or I should stop fighting. Then finally I left by my own.
Like Aida said in her blog, grace really is disruptive . It made my life upside down. It made disruption in my own life and in the life of the ones around me. It is so very difficult to hide the grace of God.
Sure enough, I wasn’t mature enough to take it lightly about fighting legalism with my own energy. I felt deceived for many years. I was seeing church as an entity where people workout in a spiritual gymnasium. I thought, without such a place to ‘work out’ we become nonspiritual. I couldn't think of a spiritual life without it. There I have seen people who think the church-potatoes are more spiritual. People who think skipping a meeting is a sin. Everybody operating on the basis of fear while struggling to put up a peace smile on their faces. People who fear demons, pastors, unbelievers and pretty much everything other than the ones in their own ‘sect’. Sorry if it sounds like a cult. It's not intentional.
The question is should we fight it? I think there is a difference in fighting legalism and opposing legalism. Fighting can produce reformation but ultimately the result could be just another system. We don’t want to replace one system for another. I respect the historical reformations but at the same time wondering if it just erupted another system. Instead of Cathedrals, now we have churches (assemblies, chapel, etc). I am tempted to fight it but it could also mean that it is still controlling me. Fighting could be a sign that I am still in it. Shouldn't we just rest in the all sufficiency of His grace? And if legalism come in our way, just oppose it? I don't mean being inactive. In fact I have never seen a person who is walking in grace being inactive.
'Systems' are generated from fear and it tries to give people a false sense of security. But if there is a bit of fear, the love is not perfected. We can’t perfect in love, unless we see the One who loved us while we were yet sinners.
Systems/Organizations miss the majors and they end up concentrating on the minors. One of the most wonderful Bible study advice I have ever received is – majoring in majors as opposed to majoring in minors. Minors such as building, music, dress, programs, meetings, committees as opposed to the majors such as Jesus, Grace, Faith, Love, Hope, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Discipleship.
Is it time to rethink church? Is it time to rethink community? Is it time to rethink fellowship? Does it have to be organized? Does it have to be planned? Does it have to be formal?
In a hard way I am learning that we can be spiritual without the organ playing and lights dim. I was so used to it and it required a lot of unlearning. I am still in the process of unlearning. Religion has such a power to bind us. It never ever ever can set us free. Music don’t set us free, programs don’t set us free, miracles don't set us free,... But it is THE truth that truly set us free!
I am no more bound in the four walls of religion. Thank you Jesus! I am in a risky ocean of Grace. Yes it is risky, disruptive, dangerous but it is worth taking that risk. Not that I was courageous to take such a risk, but it was Him doing it, it was Him who showed me His radical grace, it was Him who loved me perfectly while I was still a sinner. There is a lot more to explore in this great ocean, there is excitement, there are wonders and miracles. (Warning:There is also pain involved in the process of walking by faith). But it is sweet, it is so freeing, it is so securing in His love. Are you ready to dive in, leaving the securities of your religion?
Like Aida said in her blog, grace really is disruptive . It made my life upside down. It made disruption in my own life and in the life of the ones around me. It is so very difficult to hide the grace of God.
Sure enough, I wasn’t mature enough to take it lightly about fighting legalism with my own energy. I felt deceived for many years. I was seeing church as an entity where people workout in a spiritual gymnasium. I thought, without such a place to ‘work out’ we become nonspiritual. I couldn't think of a spiritual life without it. There I have seen people who think the church-potatoes are more spiritual. People who think skipping a meeting is a sin. Everybody operating on the basis of fear while struggling to put up a peace smile on their faces. People who fear demons, pastors, unbelievers and pretty much everything other than the ones in their own ‘sect’. Sorry if it sounds like a cult. It's not intentional.
The question is should we fight it? I think there is a difference in fighting legalism and opposing legalism. Fighting can produce reformation but ultimately the result could be just another system. We don’t want to replace one system for another. I respect the historical reformations but at the same time wondering if it just erupted another system. Instead of Cathedrals, now we have churches (assemblies, chapel, etc). I am tempted to fight it but it could also mean that it is still controlling me. Fighting could be a sign that I am still in it. Shouldn't we just rest in the all sufficiency of His grace? And if legalism come in our way, just oppose it? I don't mean being inactive. In fact I have never seen a person who is walking in grace being inactive.
'Systems' are generated from fear and it tries to give people a false sense of security. But if there is a bit of fear, the love is not perfected. We can’t perfect in love, unless we see the One who loved us while we were yet sinners.
Systems/Organizations miss the majors and they end up concentrating on the minors. One of the most wonderful Bible study advice I have ever received is – majoring in majors as opposed to majoring in minors. Minors such as building, music, dress, programs, meetings, committees as opposed to the majors such as Jesus, Grace, Faith, Love, Hope, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Discipleship.
Is it time to rethink church? Is it time to rethink community? Is it time to rethink fellowship? Does it have to be organized? Does it have to be planned? Does it have to be formal?
In a hard way I am learning that we can be spiritual without the organ playing and lights dim. I was so used to it and it required a lot of unlearning. I am still in the process of unlearning. Religion has such a power to bind us. It never ever ever can set us free. Music don’t set us free, programs don’t set us free, miracles don't set us free,... But it is THE truth that truly set us free!
I am no more bound in the four walls of religion. Thank you Jesus! I am in a risky ocean of Grace. Yes it is risky, disruptive, dangerous but it is worth taking that risk. Not that I was courageous to take such a risk, but it was Him doing it, it was Him who showed me His radical grace, it was Him who loved me perfectly while I was still a sinner. There is a lot more to explore in this great ocean, there is excitement, there are wonders and miracles. (Warning:There is also pain involved in the process of walking by faith). But it is sweet, it is so freeing, it is so securing in His love. Are you ready to dive in, leaving the securities of your religion?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Kids and Legalism
I admit that I do not have all the insight into this issue but I thought I would address few things I have observed in the past on this topic – Injecting legalism in kids.
Many parents (among all the religions) struggle to put their kids in to the religious system they belong to. I think one reason they do this is because they think religion give their kids a moral basis for their character (I think most religious people care only about morality).
Christians are no exception as we can see most Christian parents want their kids to grow up in the denomination they belong to. I don’t blame them but what bothers me is that the amount of legalism they inject in to these little ones instead of telling them how much Jesus loves them no matter how they perform in their bible memorization, songs and prayers.
There are many who put lot of pressure on little kids to be religious such as participating in church activities, learning rituals, prayers, and bible versus etc.
The church I have been a part for while, there was even a competition among parents about whose kids are going to mug up and recite more bible versus. I admire their genuine desire to teach the 'Christian' way.
But I suspect if it is making a negative impact on the kids about the whole concept of religion and possibly hindering them to come to the reality of Christ’s love in the future. Parents try to bring even 3 year olds to the front of the congregation and ‘show off’ how much scripture memorization their kids can do. They ‘train’ little kids to sit through the boring sermons and brag about how disciplined their kids are. Sometime you get that look from many ‘proud’ parents while struggling to settle down your fuzzy one year old during the service. You even get many sympathetic advices on how you can teach your kids the ‘Christian’ way.
I have heard the pastor commending in public about kids who can recite many verses, say nice prayers, act ‘disciplined’ and kind of pricking on the parents who have less disciplined, less behaved kids.
I am looking forward for your comments on this. I am not an expert on child psychology but I think what we should be doing is to tell them in simple terms how Jesus loves them and probably show them the beauty and wonder of God’s wonderful creations around us instead of raising them arrogant, legalistic, religious Pharisees.
Many parents (among all the religions) struggle to put their kids in to the religious system they belong to. I think one reason they do this is because they think religion give their kids a moral basis for their character (I think most religious people care only about morality).
Christians are no exception as we can see most Christian parents want their kids to grow up in the denomination they belong to. I don’t blame them but what bothers me is that the amount of legalism they inject in to these little ones instead of telling them how much Jesus loves them no matter how they perform in their bible memorization, songs and prayers.
There are many who put lot of pressure on little kids to be religious such as participating in church activities, learning rituals, prayers, and bible versus etc.
The church I have been a part for while, there was even a competition among parents about whose kids are going to mug up and recite more bible versus. I admire their genuine desire to teach the 'Christian' way.
But I suspect if it is making a negative impact on the kids about the whole concept of religion and possibly hindering them to come to the reality of Christ’s love in the future. Parents try to bring even 3 year olds to the front of the congregation and ‘show off’ how much scripture memorization their kids can do. They ‘train’ little kids to sit through the boring sermons and brag about how disciplined their kids are. Sometime you get that look from many ‘proud’ parents while struggling to settle down your fuzzy one year old during the service. You even get many sympathetic advices on how you can teach your kids the ‘Christian’ way.
I have heard the pastor commending in public about kids who can recite many verses, say nice prayers, act ‘disciplined’ and kind of pricking on the parents who have less disciplined, less behaved kids.
I am looking forward for your comments on this. I am not an expert on child psychology but I think what we should be doing is to tell them in simple terms how Jesus loves them and probably show them the beauty and wonder of God’s wonderful creations around us instead of raising them arrogant, legalistic, religious Pharisees.
Friday, October 5, 2007
What is legalism?
Being under total grace is an extreme. It gives us a dangerous sense of freedom. It can bring us humility and security but at the same time a secret pride. God loves me unconditionally and I am safe in His hands. There is no feeling of guilt or fear. Does it promote sin? Does it give a license to sin? Isn't it too dangerous? And the entire Christendom says --- YES! So what is the solution? We need law! Law is Good! Law keeps us morally pure! Law makes us holy! We love law!
I think I know what Legalism means but I struggle to define it.
What teaches me to say 'no' to ungodliness? Law or Grace?
There are 2 ways I can stop watching R-rated movies:
1. I don’t watch R-rated movies because I am a Christian and I want to be holy.
2. I don’t watch R-rated movies because the wisdom from God tells me that my flesh is too bad and I may indulge in sin and destroy my earthly relationships.
In either case God is not pleased or displeased. Because there is only one thing which can please God- faith.
The first one is legalistic but the second is not. In the second case I am not motivated by the law, fear or guilt. I know that I know that I know, nothing can separate me from the love of God. The same grace teaches me to say ‘no’ to ungodliness, not the law. If it is law it is legalism and it promotes more sin.
11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Titus 2)
I think I know what Legalism means but I struggle to define it.
What teaches me to say 'no' to ungodliness? Law or Grace?
There are 2 ways I can stop watching R-rated movies:
1. I don’t watch R-rated movies because I am a Christian and I want to be holy.
2. I don’t watch R-rated movies because the wisdom from God tells me that my flesh is too bad and I may indulge in sin and destroy my earthly relationships.
In either case God is not pleased or displeased. Because there is only one thing which can please God- faith.
The first one is legalistic but the second is not. In the second case I am not motivated by the law, fear or guilt. I know that I know that I know, nothing can separate me from the love of God. The same grace teaches me to say ‘no’ to ungodliness, not the law. If it is law it is legalism and it promotes more sin.
11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Titus 2)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)