Friday, January 2, 2009

My spiritual evolution

Born to religious parents

Traditionally religious

Looking for something exciting

Growing a rebellious spirit against established orthodoxy

Experimenting with Protestantism/Charismaticism

Seeking answers - Apologetics

Being proud of being a protestant

Biblisicm

Self-righteousness

Religion returns

Roller coaster spirituality

Confusion

Being exposed to the 'finality of the cross' and the 'reality of the resurrection'

Questioning

Threats, pressure and more confusion

Stepping out the boat

Unlearning begins

Walking few steady steps, slipping

Holding onto Jesus's hands, hanging on to grace

Law threatens and seduces

Religion tries to inject insecurity

Embracing grace (By His grace!)

Walking by faith

Faith, freedom, mess, growth...

More mess, more growth, more freedom...

Jesus, Thank You!

18 comments:

Leonard said...

Boy does this look and sound familiar.

Best 2U
Leonard

ps. Thanks.

Amy said...

Bino,
This is great! Love the one word descriptors of your review of your spiritual Journey. Many, many things in common with you, my friend!

Blessings,
~Amy :)

Free Spirit said...

Love it, Bino!

Can relate in too many ways. :)

Joel B. said...

Some of your early on stuff, I relate to, and some of it I don't, but for sure after (and including) "self-righteousness," my experience has been pretty much the same!

getting there said...

this is one of your best posts.. Brilliant!

Matthew Daelon said...

This was a cool idea, Bino. Interesting too. Thanks :)

Ike said...

I gotta ask you Bino, when you stepped outta that boat did you really think you would walk on water?

Joel B. said...

Ike, I know you asked Bino, but since much of the latter part of his description is something that I relate to, I'll share that in my experience, I pictured myself as standing on the edge of a cliff. Behind me was the life of legalism that I'd lived, and I didn't know exactly what was over the cliff, except that it was pure grace.

I had been afraid to go over the edge, but one day I remember picturing myself going up to the edge and taking a blind dive into whatever was below. I found myself floating in a vast sea of grace, and I've never been the same since!

I'm not normally a "word-picture" type of person, but in this case my description here is something that I literally envisioned and it truly describes, at least in general, my experience of plunging into grace. It was a time of bliss, and then some troubles and confusion as the 'unlearning' began, that Bino speaks of, but in the long run it's been oh so sweet. :)

Rich said...

Bino,

Wonderfull stuff, much like crying as the onion of my life is being peeled back layer by layer, knowing that those tears all added to such a great meal, feasting in Him.

lydia joy said...

oh boy, sounds so familiar....... I especially like the end of the story!!!

(by the way, what is Biblicism???)

lionwoman said...

Bino, as others have said - familiar! I grew up 'traditional,' decided it was deader than creaky wood, then for a few years was seduced into thinking that loud, dramatic charismatic was the answer to 'life.' Finally I realized it was mostly smoke and mirrors (and noise). I see now that much of the confusion is rooted in the belief that God dwells in the building and inhabits our praises, rather than in our hearts...
Great stuff!

Bino M. said...

Ike - That's a good question! :)

Honestly, stepping out of the boat wasn't easy. Considering my timidity and insecurity, if it was just me, I wouldn't have done it. But there was a higher force driving me. It was irresistible. I left behind years of many things which I considered 'valuable' and like Joel said, took a blind dive into whatever was below. I didn't plan it, I didn't anticipate anything. I think I didn't even jump by myself, instead someone pushed me. It just happened and more than anyone else it surprised me.

Boy! What a ride since then!

We literally lived lonely in this city, with absolutely no Christian friends. I even wondered if I die, there wouldn't be anyone to bury me. We had no sense of security (community/friends) other than Jesus Himself. He made me teachable. He taught me that He is sufficient. He is still knocking legalism/religion out of me. He made me humble. I learned to RECEIVE (instead of earning) His favor.

I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. It's amazing! The transformation was unconscious and inside-out. I haven't reached, I still mess up. Freedom comes with risk, but when I mess up He picks me up. But I won't go back to legalism! Because legalism only made me self-righteous, arrogant, unlovable Pharisee. It was gratifying but NOT satisfying. But the life in Christ is so contenting, we can rest because He does everything.

Bino M. said...

Lydia - Jesus said(referring to Pharisees):

You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life. - John 5:39-40

In other words, the LIFE is found in Jesus, not in the Scripture; Scripture ONLY points to the One who can give LIFE. I think, when we try to find LIFE in Scriptures, that's Biblicism.

Also, Check out this link

Bino M. said...

Leonard, Amy, Free Spirit, Joel, getting there, Matthew, Rich, lionwoman - Thank you all for the encouraging words!

lydia joy said...

Wow, Bino that was so helpful. You have no idea how timely this response was, as I am in a conversation/slash debate with an old friend from my old church. I checked out the link too, some good quotes, thanks. I think I was involved in this too!!

Bino M. said...

Lydia - Glad it helped!
Love and grace to you...

silent wings said...

Hello,
Thanks for brilliantly sketching out the journey...I was nodding all the way through, laughing and taking great comfort in the last section....so, so familiar! And what a strange joy that I CAN laugh about the ups and the downs, knowing now that He is faithful to complete what He has begun.

Thanks also for clarifying "biblia". My grace journey is still quite fresh and I had been concerned over how my passion for scripture reading and prayer had dulled and wasn't quite sure how much of it was attached to my self-righteousness or how to allow the life of Christ to restore it in it's purest form. This helped some.

Bino M. said...

silent wings - Thank you for stopping by and I appreciate your encouraging comments! Keep growing in His awesome grace...