My prayer usually started with "My loving father in heaven" for a long time. Eventually I got bored with that salutation, so I tried few others such as "My precious Father", "Our loving gracious Father in heaven" or simply "Lord Jesus". I was taught that quoting Scriptures while praying is very effective. In other words, we might get more action from God if we claim things which he had promised in the Scriptures but have forgotten to give to us.
Every time, during the family prayer in the evening, I wanted to make sure my kids followed the Christian discipline of sitting in full attention with their eyes closed. I was proud of being a perfect Christian Dad, making sure even our 2 year old followed my strict prayer-time discipline.
Depending on who is present, most of my public prayers were directed to them, kind of using the prayer time to preach to them or to show off my religiosity. After all, that’s the only time they are forced to be silent and listen to me. When my parents (who are not protestant Christians) are present, I threaten them through my prayer about the countless punishments God is going to send on them if they don't accept my belief system. My conscious effort there was to prove them wrong and prove me right.
Depending on whom I am praying with, my prayer changed. I pray the most hypocritical prayer if there are unbelievers around. In the midst of super hyper believers, I pray as if I am also super hyper like them. You know, praying for the souls perishing all over the world? I knew how to add a touch of unbearable pain to the tone of my prayer to make it more dramatic.
Do you want to add more excitement and power to your prayer? Add more loud "Hallelujahs".
In short, my public prayer was a show and my private prayer was mostly a laundry list of things I thought I couldn't live without.
Grace destroyed all this drama and made it unbelievably simple. I can't believe I did all that for so many years. I feel embarrassed. Now when I pray, I hardly know that I am praying. It is like talking to a real person. It's a joyful occasion of tremendous freedom, peace and love. I don't mind talking silly things to Him. Now I don't necessarily want anyone around when I pray because I know that my prayer might sound very silly and child-like; mostly do not make any sense to the people who don't know where I am coming from.
And I think that's ok.
6 comments:
Bino,
I identified with so much of this. When I first came into grace, my set prayer time just naturally fell away. For a while I wondered if I was turning rather heathen, but I think God has shown me that since we're together always, I'm walking through my every day with Him, and there is communion going on within. My prayers have become more natural, just me talking to God at any odd moment when something comes up. I sometimes worry that I don't have a set intercession time, but I like what I read at Lydia's where she said she prays for people as the Holy Spirit brings them up. What do you think?
I have found that my prayers do not focus so much on my circumstances but rather they are more of gratitude as to what He has done.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1Thess.5:16-18
Hmmmm; seems the previous two comments meet these criteria!
I too am adjusting; feeling guilty for not praying in the old "formal" way so much. But having lots of ongoing conversations. Just acknowledging Him as always present, always listening, always knowing what's going on in my head and heart. I love that I can't hide from Him.
Hey Bino,
I already responded to this on FB but I just wanted to also say that I relate to what the others have said here.
I used to pray a whole lot more, but it wasn't really out of relationship. It was out of duty. Often I had a hard time ending my 'prayer time' because I felt guilty that I wasn't spending more time, or that I was leaving something/somebody out.
When I was freed from all that, I found my prayer time being less, but yet it was much more relational and much more meaningful. I also stopped feeling as if I had to 'labor' for a long time when I was praying about something. God - who indwells me - understands exactly what I'm saying/thinking/feeling/etc and I don't need to 'belabor' the point with Him! :)
Because of the Son's virtue and merit....."we" can tug on the robe of the Father as His children.
Bino...I hear you when you speak of public prayer. Our church pairs off in two's to prayer at prayer meeting. I will not do it because of "my" temptation to tickle the other persons ears.
I like "sparrow girls" comment....we need a continued attitude of prayer.
I must confess that I have gone through periods of what I would call "prayer-lock". I just couldn't pray. I didn't like it....
Damn straight it's OK!
"Grace destroyed all this drama and made it unbelievably simple. I can't believe I did all that for so many years. I feel embarrassed. Now when I pray, I hardly know that I am praying. It is like talking to a real person. It's a joyful occasion of tremendous freedom, peace and love. I don't mind talking silly things to Him. Now I don't necessarily want anyone around when I pray because I know that my prayer might sound very silly and child-like; mostly do not make any sense to the people who don't know where I am coming from.
And I think that's ok."
All of the 'drama and embellishments' seemed urgently necessary especially when one really doesn't know the reality of this One who is married to us.
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