I have read/heard that growing in the knowledge of Lord Jesus is a process of “unlearning”, unlearning of religion.
It is about forgetting and getting rid of the bondage of religion.
Saying a specific prayer before each meal also can become legalistic. Though we don’t feel like praying before a meal, we may be emotionally forced to pray because of the “learned” behavior or guilt.
In the book “Dinner with a perfect stranger”, there is a scene where the stranger (Jesus) prays for food as “Father, Thank you for this food, bless this. Amen”. The invitee looked at Jesus surprised and asked, “Is that it?” as he expected a long prayer. So Jesus asked “Yes, do you have anything else?”
As Christians we have a lot of learned spiritual behavior. Sometimes our worship is limited to “two songs + prayer” when the bible says presenting our bodies as living sacrifice is the act of spiritual worship (Romans 12:1-2). This has to be the life style of a Christian. But we limit it to “two songs + prayer” at the end of the day. Its not necessarily our fault, the Christendom taught us that. The “church” taught us that worship is for Sundays and it is about lifting hands up and singing with closed eyes, spitting out many words and repetitions. Is God concerned about our words or our heart?
Is it possible to unlearn such behaviors over night? Not really. We have seen Jesus deliberately going against religion in many occasions. I believe there was a purpose for that. We can learn something from it.
Sometimes it is good to remind ourselves that “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” – Gal 5:1.
What is this freedom? It is the freedom in depending on the Spirit of the living God, rather than depending on the religion. There is freedom in that dependability!
As we grow in the grace of God, it becomes more and more real and we start shedding off the religion. While we are growing, let’s keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery of religion. Religion kills, but Jesus gives life!
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query unlearning. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query unlearning. Sort by date Show all posts
Monday, March 12, 2007
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Rethinking 'Church'
When God started to make things clear to me (or when I finally started to listen to Him) about His unconditional love and grace, my first reaction was over-reaction. I was angry at the religion. I wanted to ask those who deceive the people with legalism, why they do that? I wanted to fight the heresy they teach. I was annoyed by the processed sermons they preach. I became intolerant towards legalism. I wanted to be in the middle of it and fight it. I tried, tried and tried. I was treated as someone deceived by a ‘bad theology’. I was told that ‘grace alone’ is dangerous. I was asked to read the ‘what we believe’ page of their website. I was a subject of their prayer, so that God’s wrath won’t fall up on me. I was told that the New Covenant is a continuation of Old Covenant. Finally it came to a point where either they will excommunicate me, or I should stop fighting. Then finally I left by my own.
Like Aida said in her blog, grace really is disruptive . It made my life upside down. It made disruption in my own life and in the life of the ones around me. It is so very difficult to hide the grace of God.
Sure enough, I wasn’t mature enough to take it lightly about fighting legalism with my own energy. I felt deceived for many years. I was seeing church as an entity where people workout in a spiritual gymnasium. I thought, without such a place to ‘work out’ we become nonspiritual. I couldn't think of a spiritual life without it. There I have seen people who think the church-potatoes are more spiritual. People who think skipping a meeting is a sin. Everybody operating on the basis of fear while struggling to put up a peace smile on their faces. People who fear demons, pastors, unbelievers and pretty much everything other than the ones in their own ‘sect’. Sorry if it sounds like a cult. It's not intentional.
The question is should we fight it? I think there is a difference in fighting legalism and opposing legalism. Fighting can produce reformation but ultimately the result could be just another system. We don’t want to replace one system for another. I respect the historical reformations but at the same time wondering if it just erupted another system. Instead of Cathedrals, now we have churches (assemblies, chapel, etc). I am tempted to fight it but it could also mean that it is still controlling me. Fighting could be a sign that I am still in it. Shouldn't we just rest in the all sufficiency of His grace? And if legalism come in our way, just oppose it? I don't mean being inactive. In fact I have never seen a person who is walking in grace being inactive.
'Systems' are generated from fear and it tries to give people a false sense of security. But if there is a bit of fear, the love is not perfected. We can’t perfect in love, unless we see the One who loved us while we were yet sinners.
Systems/Organizations miss the majors and they end up concentrating on the minors. One of the most wonderful Bible study advice I have ever received is – majoring in majors as opposed to majoring in minors. Minors such as building, music, dress, programs, meetings, committees as opposed to the majors such as Jesus, Grace, Faith, Love, Hope, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Discipleship.
Is it time to rethink church? Is it time to rethink community? Is it time to rethink fellowship? Does it have to be organized? Does it have to be planned? Does it have to be formal?
In a hard way I am learning that we can be spiritual without the organ playing and lights dim. I was so used to it and it required a lot of unlearning. I am still in the process of unlearning. Religion has such a power to bind us. It never ever ever can set us free. Music don’t set us free, programs don’t set us free, miracles don't set us free,... But it is THE truth that truly set us free!
I am no more bound in the four walls of religion. Thank you Jesus! I am in a risky ocean of Grace. Yes it is risky, disruptive, dangerous but it is worth taking that risk. Not that I was courageous to take such a risk, but it was Him doing it, it was Him who showed me His radical grace, it was Him who loved me perfectly while I was still a sinner. There is a lot more to explore in this great ocean, there is excitement, there are wonders and miracles. (Warning:There is also pain involved in the process of walking by faith). But it is sweet, it is so freeing, it is so securing in His love. Are you ready to dive in, leaving the securities of your religion?
Like Aida said in her blog, grace really is disruptive . It made my life upside down. It made disruption in my own life and in the life of the ones around me. It is so very difficult to hide the grace of God.
Sure enough, I wasn’t mature enough to take it lightly about fighting legalism with my own energy. I felt deceived for many years. I was seeing church as an entity where people workout in a spiritual gymnasium. I thought, without such a place to ‘work out’ we become nonspiritual. I couldn't think of a spiritual life without it. There I have seen people who think the church-potatoes are more spiritual. People who think skipping a meeting is a sin. Everybody operating on the basis of fear while struggling to put up a peace smile on their faces. People who fear demons, pastors, unbelievers and pretty much everything other than the ones in their own ‘sect’. Sorry if it sounds like a cult. It's not intentional.
The question is should we fight it? I think there is a difference in fighting legalism and opposing legalism. Fighting can produce reformation but ultimately the result could be just another system. We don’t want to replace one system for another. I respect the historical reformations but at the same time wondering if it just erupted another system. Instead of Cathedrals, now we have churches (assemblies, chapel, etc). I am tempted to fight it but it could also mean that it is still controlling me. Fighting could be a sign that I am still in it. Shouldn't we just rest in the all sufficiency of His grace? And if legalism come in our way, just oppose it? I don't mean being inactive. In fact I have never seen a person who is walking in grace being inactive.
'Systems' are generated from fear and it tries to give people a false sense of security. But if there is a bit of fear, the love is not perfected. We can’t perfect in love, unless we see the One who loved us while we were yet sinners.
Systems/Organizations miss the majors and they end up concentrating on the minors. One of the most wonderful Bible study advice I have ever received is – majoring in majors as opposed to majoring in minors. Minors such as building, music, dress, programs, meetings, committees as opposed to the majors such as Jesus, Grace, Faith, Love, Hope, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Discipleship.
Is it time to rethink church? Is it time to rethink community? Is it time to rethink fellowship? Does it have to be organized? Does it have to be planned? Does it have to be formal?
In a hard way I am learning that we can be spiritual without the organ playing and lights dim. I was so used to it and it required a lot of unlearning. I am still in the process of unlearning. Religion has such a power to bind us. It never ever ever can set us free. Music don’t set us free, programs don’t set us free, miracles don't set us free,... But it is THE truth that truly set us free!
I am no more bound in the four walls of religion. Thank you Jesus! I am in a risky ocean of Grace. Yes it is risky, disruptive, dangerous but it is worth taking that risk. Not that I was courageous to take such a risk, but it was Him doing it, it was Him who showed me His radical grace, it was Him who loved me perfectly while I was still a sinner. There is a lot more to explore in this great ocean, there is excitement, there are wonders and miracles. (Warning:There is also pain involved in the process of walking by faith). But it is sweet, it is so freeing, it is so securing in His love. Are you ready to dive in, leaving the securities of your religion?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Room to heal.
About two years ago, after going through a lot of emotional, theological, philosophical and social turmoil, we made a decision to stop attending the church which we attended for years. Well, making such a decision was easier than facing the first Sunday after that. The first Sunday came quickly, than I thought. As usual I woke up that day, ready to face the reality that we were not going to church. It was okay at first, but then as the time approached 10:30, I started becoming restless. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t in the church service at 10:30. I felt awkward and nervous; my heart started beating so fast and I even thought something bad is going to happen to us. My mind wandered and I imagined my kids being afflicted with sickness due to God’s anger on us.
Through the debates, conflicts, discussions, reading, listening and thinking God showed me that He never intended His grace to be mixed with law in any form, at any cost. I was convicted and confident when I made the decision to stay out of church. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. So many years of faulty teaching patterned in my brain and on that Sunday everything came to the surface. I was filled with fear. I wasn't sick, I wasn't out of town and I had no other excuse not to attend church other than my own conviction that everything I was taught in the church over the years was dead wrong.
Finally I ran to my computer to listen to some sermons online! I thought I will pass out if I don’t do at least that part of my Sunday routine. My wife went to the basement to sing songs and worship. We both tried to imitate church at home. I was like a nicotine addict who didn’t have a Cigarette to smoke – sweating and all that stuff. So, I listened to Bob George on realanswers.net and felt little relieved, but still not settled, after all it is still my home, not the 'House of the Lord'!
People say once we are out of an addiction, we will never have a temptation. I don’t agree to them. I quit smoking 6 years ago, but I can still, even today, light up a Cigarette and smoke right away.
The second Sunday wasn’t as bad as the first and eventually the pressure melted down. The process of unlearning started, the detox process from a deadly addiction. A very painful process. I admit I still struggle with it. We attended a community church once in a while just to gratify some of our old religious patterns. But when they mix law and grace, I could hardly sit there.
Knocking legalism off our head is a long process, in most cases. The people who come out of legalistic churches go through a lot of stress and I think it is okay to give them some room to heal. I can’t expect them to get going with grace in full-fledge all of a sudden. They might keep going back and forth between law and grace and that is okay as well.
As I was reading through the book of Acts, couple of incidents really stuck out. Such as the below:
Paul wanted to take him [Timothy] along on the journey, so he circumcised him – Acts 16
This is after Paul’s conversion and he is in full swing on preaching and teaching.
The next day Paul took the men and purified [a Jewish religious custom] himself along with them. – Acts 21
It could be, Paul himself was going through a process of shedding his religion or he was being gentle with Jews in order to earn their trust or to reduce the intensity of rebellion from Jews.
Either way, Paul knew how hard it is for a hardcore Jew to accept the salvation by grace when in all their life time they were taught, brain-washed and indoctrinated on the law. I think he was trying to give them some room. It's not really tolerating legalism but tolerating the legalists who are pathetically caught up in the bondage.
It is the same Paul who taught fervently about the danger of mixing law and grace, in the book of Galatians. He even called them ‘Foolish’ since some of them tried to mix law with grace.
Matthew, in his recent post called Getting Grounded, said:
I realized Jesus gave His disciples time to transition from Law to Grace. He wanted to lay the foundation of love and not duty. Of Grace and not Law.
Jesus was patient with His friends, to allow them to grow in Grace and in the knowledge of Him.
I think, we all, in one way or other, responded in anger - overturning the tables. But, laying the foundation in the solid teaching of grace and unconditional love of God is, in most cases, a long process and this realization alone gives me some patience on others who still struggle with legalism and bondage in their life.
Through the debates, conflicts, discussions, reading, listening and thinking God showed me that He never intended His grace to be mixed with law in any form, at any cost. I was convicted and confident when I made the decision to stay out of church. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. So many years of faulty teaching patterned in my brain and on that Sunday everything came to the surface. I was filled with fear. I wasn't sick, I wasn't out of town and I had no other excuse not to attend church other than my own conviction that everything I was taught in the church over the years was dead wrong.
Finally I ran to my computer to listen to some sermons online! I thought I will pass out if I don’t do at least that part of my Sunday routine. My wife went to the basement to sing songs and worship. We both tried to imitate church at home. I was like a nicotine addict who didn’t have a Cigarette to smoke – sweating and all that stuff. So, I listened to Bob George on realanswers.net and felt little relieved, but still not settled, after all it is still my home, not the 'House of the Lord'!
People say once we are out of an addiction, we will never have a temptation. I don’t agree to them. I quit smoking 6 years ago, but I can still, even today, light up a Cigarette and smoke right away.
The second Sunday wasn’t as bad as the first and eventually the pressure melted down. The process of unlearning started, the detox process from a deadly addiction. A very painful process. I admit I still struggle with it. We attended a community church once in a while just to gratify some of our old religious patterns. But when they mix law and grace, I could hardly sit there.
Knocking legalism off our head is a long process, in most cases. The people who come out of legalistic churches go through a lot of stress and I think it is okay to give them some room to heal. I can’t expect them to get going with grace in full-fledge all of a sudden. They might keep going back and forth between law and grace and that is okay as well.
As I was reading through the book of Acts, couple of incidents really stuck out. Such as the below:
Paul wanted to take him [Timothy] along on the journey, so he circumcised him – Acts 16
This is after Paul’s conversion and he is in full swing on preaching and teaching.
The next day Paul took the men and purified [a Jewish religious custom] himself along with them. – Acts 21
It could be, Paul himself was going through a process of shedding his religion or he was being gentle with Jews in order to earn their trust or to reduce the intensity of rebellion from Jews.
Either way, Paul knew how hard it is for a hardcore Jew to accept the salvation by grace when in all their life time they were taught, brain-washed and indoctrinated on the law. I think he was trying to give them some room. It's not really tolerating legalism but tolerating the legalists who are pathetically caught up in the bondage.
It is the same Paul who taught fervently about the danger of mixing law and grace, in the book of Galatians. He even called them ‘Foolish’ since some of them tried to mix law with grace.
Matthew, in his recent post called Getting Grounded, said:
I realized Jesus gave His disciples time to transition from Law to Grace. He wanted to lay the foundation of love and not duty. Of Grace and not Law.
Jesus was patient with His friends, to allow them to grow in Grace and in the knowledge of Him.
I think, we all, in one way or other, responded in anger - overturning the tables. But, laying the foundation in the solid teaching of grace and unconditional love of God is, in most cases, a long process and this realization alone gives me some patience on others who still struggle with legalism and bondage in their life.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
God of small things
God of small things is the title of a book which won the booker prize award in 1997. Though I never read that book, the title really attracted me and the author is from the same place where I was born.
And now that Joel wrote another post called God in the ordinary, I am inspired to write some of my thoughts about the God of small things.
He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?). He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace changed me radically, inside out. He revealed the truth of His gospel and gave me freedom. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. I came out as a new person after that deep clean process. I started unlearning religion. Now that I know that I can enjoy all the small things in life because I have a big God. I can relax and snuggle into His lap because I have a God who is serious about me. I can simply focus on Him enjoy His love in all the small things here on earth because He did some big things for me. I can enjoy this small life here because He is preparing a big life there.
Today, I don’t want to be part of a big group to enjoy their small god. I don’t want to take up big projects for a God who said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I don’t have to invent big ‘faith formulas’ to tap God to do what I want. I have a big God who said it is not the amount of faith that matters, even faith as small as a ‘mustard seed’ can do wonders. I don’t want to seek the attention of others by doing big things, because I already have the full attention of a big God. I have a God who asked to learn to be contented in all the circumstances no matter what.
My salvation is not bigger than my Savior. My faith is not bigger than the object of it. I am glad that today I am learning to be contented in small things, such as may be writing a small blog post to encourage few people, enjoying the beauty of His creation, watching a butterfly flying, looking at the sky, watching the starts, reading a story to my kids, watching TV with my wife, going for a walk with the entire family, calling a friend, purchasing grocery for the old lady lives next door, sharing the tomatoes grown in our backyard with the neighbors,....
We will not be 'known' for these kind of acts because they are not big. But thats okay. It is Jesus who will attract people to Him. He is pretty big, not me. He can do big things. He is a big God of small things. I am glad I found this God (or did He find me?), and I want to enjoy Him for the rest of my life here. No big plans. No big visions. No big anticipations. No big programs. I just want to be a small vessel in the hands of a big God and it is up to Him what He wants to do with it. May be its going to be big, may be small. In either way I am what I am by His grace.
Friday, January 2, 2009
My spiritual evolution
Born to religious parents
Traditionally religious
Looking for something exciting
Growing a rebellious spirit against established orthodoxy
Experimenting with Protestantism/Charismaticism
Seeking answers - Apologetics
Being proud of being a protestant
Biblisicm
Self-righteousness
Religion returns
Roller coaster spirituality
Confusion
Being exposed to the 'finality of the cross' and the 'reality of the resurrection'
Questioning
Threats, pressure and more confusion
Stepping out the boat
Unlearning begins
Walking few steady steps, slipping
Holding onto Jesus's hands, hanging on to grace
Law threatens and seduces
Religion tries to inject insecurity
Embracing grace (By His grace!)
Walking by faith
Faith, freedom, mess, growth...
More mess, more growth, more freedom...
Jesus, Thank You!
Traditionally religious
Looking for something exciting
Growing a rebellious spirit against established orthodoxy
Experimenting with Protestantism/Charismaticism
Seeking answers - Apologetics
Being proud of being a protestant
Biblisicm
Self-righteousness
Religion returns
Roller coaster spirituality
Confusion
Being exposed to the 'finality of the cross' and the 'reality of the resurrection'
Questioning
Threats, pressure and more confusion
Stepping out the boat
Unlearning begins
Walking few steady steps, slipping
Holding onto Jesus's hands, hanging on to grace
Law threatens and seduces
Religion tries to inject insecurity
Embracing grace (By His grace!)
Walking by faith
Faith, freedom, mess, growth...
More mess, more growth, more freedom...
Jesus, Thank You!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
My 'Performance-Based Acceptance' Story
I am sharing this story as part of the synchroblog idea Joel came up with. The biggest challenge for me to write this up here is about how to make it short. :)
I was born in a very orthodox Christian family, where my parents, grand parents and many generations practiced Eastern Orthodox religion (a branch of Greek Orthodox). Religion, church, and related rituals were all part of our life during childhood. Starting with my parents, continuing with my teachers at school and Sunday school, including the church clergies, pretty much all the people I ever came to know in my life, in one way or the other, knowingly or unknowingly have tried to put pressure on me to perform/behave in a certain way. In other words, no one wanted to accept me as who I was. Everyone expected something from me - from good grades in school to good behaviors at church.
All these, including many incidents through out my childhood, slowly started to inject a deadly poison into my brain - that my worth is directly depended on my performance.
Later on, in my late twenties, I was introduced to Pentecostalism, where I learned the idea of being born-again first time in my life. I saw it in the Bible that Jesus is the only means for Salvation (which the orthodox church never taught!). I got saved by believing in Jesus. It brought a lot of joy into my life.
But, sooner my focus started changing. I started falling into 'doing' stuff, thinking that is what God expected from me as a Christian. It all got powered up by the faulty concept many of us has learned during our life time - that our worth is directly depending on our performance.
The following few years, my life was a roller-coaster ride of performance, gaining Bible knowledge, religious show off, emotional experiences, faith formulas, prosperity gospel, prophecies, health and wealth, name it and claim it, end times and all that you can think of.
I started following the popular beliefs of 'churchianity'.
As a follower of churchianity, I have always thought I have to do 'big' things for God. I remember, few months after becoming a Christian I started participating in the evangelical programs of the church. I went to university campus to reach out to the students with the message of gospel. I visited homes telling them about Jesus. I distributed ‘free chilled water’ in summer for the commuters, handing over tracts along with water bottles. When some people hesitated to accept the tracts I thought that was ‘persecution’ and felt so proud that I am being persecuted for Christ! I acted in bible dramas to reach out to unbelievers. I felt so good because I was doing all the big things. Sometimes I forgot my small family back at home waiting for me. I walked with big bibles and expositories in my hand and engaged in big theological discussions. ‘End times’ was one of my favorites. People considered me as a person who is ‘fired up’ for Jesus. I liked the attention I started to get. I did more to bring more attention. I was busy and acted busy as well around others. I enjoyed the praises of elders and pastors. I appeared happy and busy for God on Sundays. After all these, on Monday when I wake up I was dry and miserable like hell. I was impatient towards my wife. I wondered what Jesus meant by the 'spring of water welling up in us'. I had no joy. I used to cry out to God while driving to office, to bring joy in my life. I negotiated with Him about the big things I am doing. I reminded Him the things I did and demanded 'joy'.
I was focused on doing big things while forgetting the small things - resting in Him, enjoying His life, abiding in Him just like a branch, allowing Him to live His life through me, learning to be contented in all the circumstances (As Paul said in Philippians 4:10-14).
He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?) in the year of 2006. He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace started changing my outlook on everything radically. He revealed the truth of His gospel and showed me the freedom He offered. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. He changed my perception of Him that He isn't an angry God waiting up there to whack us when we misbehave, but a loving, compassionate God who operates from the paradigm of amazing GRACE. I started seeing myself as He sees me, as a new creation in Christ who is accepted into His family as His own precious child on the sole basis of what Jesus did, not what I do/did/will do.
I started unlearning religion. It still contines, even today...
Make no mistake, this isn't an easy journey. There are many lonely moments. There is opposition. This is not a popular belief. This isn't about following the majority. There is pressure from legalistic sources. There is confusion, doubts, questions, challenges and all that. But, regardless of any of it, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. He has given me the confidence, that no matter how I mess up, I can still snuggle back into His lap and call Him "Abba, Father!". And there is nothing, nothing which can separate me from His love. NOTHING!
I was born in a very orthodox Christian family, where my parents, grand parents and many generations practiced Eastern Orthodox religion (a branch of Greek Orthodox). Religion, church, and related rituals were all part of our life during childhood. Starting with my parents, continuing with my teachers at school and Sunday school, including the church clergies, pretty much all the people I ever came to know in my life, in one way or the other, knowingly or unknowingly have tried to put pressure on me to perform/behave in a certain way. In other words, no one wanted to accept me as who I was. Everyone expected something from me - from good grades in school to good behaviors at church.
All these, including many incidents through out my childhood, slowly started to inject a deadly poison into my brain - that my worth is directly depended on my performance.
Later on, in my late twenties, I was introduced to Pentecostalism, where I learned the idea of being born-again first time in my life. I saw it in the Bible that Jesus is the only means for Salvation (which the orthodox church never taught!). I got saved by believing in Jesus. It brought a lot of joy into my life.
But, sooner my focus started changing. I started falling into 'doing' stuff, thinking that is what God expected from me as a Christian. It all got powered up by the faulty concept many of us has learned during our life time - that our worth is directly depending on our performance.
The following few years, my life was a roller-coaster ride of performance, gaining Bible knowledge, religious show off, emotional experiences, faith formulas, prosperity gospel, prophecies, health and wealth, name it and claim it, end times and all that you can think of.
I started following the popular beliefs of 'churchianity'.
As a follower of churchianity, I have always thought I have to do 'big' things for God. I remember, few months after becoming a Christian I started participating in the evangelical programs of the church. I went to university campus to reach out to the students with the message of gospel. I visited homes telling them about Jesus. I distributed ‘free chilled water’ in summer for the commuters, handing over tracts along with water bottles. When some people hesitated to accept the tracts I thought that was ‘persecution’ and felt so proud that I am being persecuted for Christ! I acted in bible dramas to reach out to unbelievers. I felt so good because I was doing all the big things. Sometimes I forgot my small family back at home waiting for me. I walked with big bibles and expositories in my hand and engaged in big theological discussions. ‘End times’ was one of my favorites. People considered me as a person who is ‘fired up’ for Jesus. I liked the attention I started to get. I did more to bring more attention. I was busy and acted busy as well around others. I enjoyed the praises of elders and pastors. I appeared happy and busy for God on Sundays. After all these, on Monday when I wake up I was dry and miserable like hell. I was impatient towards my wife. I wondered what Jesus meant by the 'spring of water welling up in us'. I had no joy. I used to cry out to God while driving to office, to bring joy in my life. I negotiated with Him about the big things I am doing. I reminded Him the things I did and demanded 'joy'.
I was focused on doing big things while forgetting the small things - resting in Him, enjoying His life, abiding in Him just like a branch, allowing Him to live His life through me, learning to be contented in all the circumstances (As Paul said in Philippians 4:10-14).
He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?) in the year of 2006. He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace started changing my outlook on everything radically. He revealed the truth of His gospel and showed me the freedom He offered. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. He changed my perception of Him that He isn't an angry God waiting up there to whack us when we misbehave, but a loving, compassionate God who operates from the paradigm of amazing GRACE. I started seeing myself as He sees me, as a new creation in Christ who is accepted into His family as His own precious child on the sole basis of what Jesus did, not what I do/did/will do.
I started unlearning religion. It still contines, even today...
Make no mistake, this isn't an easy journey. There are many lonely moments. There is opposition. This is not a popular belief. This isn't about following the majority. There is pressure from legalistic sources. There is confusion, doubts, questions, challenges and all that. But, regardless of any of it, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. He has given me the confidence, that no matter how I mess up, I can still snuggle back into His lap and call Him "Abba, Father!". And there is nothing, nothing which can separate me from His love. NOTHING!
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